Last night I was out with a friend from school (a girl) with whom I've become quite good friends with. I think I have sort of a thing for her, nothing that big really. We're usually chatting everyday on msn and quite often it leads to light flirting. She brought her friend wich I hadn't met before with her and things were going great. I felt at ease and was being CnF the whole time and the girls seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was getting IOI from both of them I think (her friend was quite definitely into me as we went dancing and grinding and she was putting my hands on her breasts).

My friend was also sending some signals my way like stroking my hair and stuff but she ended up going home with this other guy she hooked up with on the dance floor. I followed her friend home and we shared a couple of sloppy kisses but then I left.

So in my infinite drunken wisdom I decided to send a PM on FB to my friend stating that I really like her when I got home. Fuck I'm really regretting this now as I really need her as a friend. As I said I'm not that interested in her but there have been some attraction which obviously was what made me do it.

Do you think I screwed this up? How do I fix the situation if things go weird?
Any chance I can write it off as a drunken mistake?

flirty can mean anything among friends. with friends though its more of a sign of how close you are. but if u have feelings for her i wouldnt say uve screwed things up entirely. u e definately hurt ur chances by making such a decleration over FB. Right now ur stuck in the dreaded friend zone so what i would do is when ur with her, escalate as much as you can and later on discuss previois conquests. between the kino escelation and talk of what uve done she may get jealous. if she does she might question why she is and its all easy from there

Dude first of all maybe she does really like you and needed to prove herself by getting with someone else due to the fact her friend was all over you.(although I'm not sure in what order stuff happened). Think of it this way: If you both like each other in the same way then if you shagged her friend and she only got kisses from her guy then she might have done the same thing!

But the FB message was definitely a bad thing to do. I know its probably embarrassing but what exactly was the message?

The message went something like "don't you realize I've liked you for some time now. If you just want to be friends that's fine, won't kill me. I just felt pretty good when you were hugging me. i wasn't really interested in your friend, I was interested in you. Damn you're just so hard to figure out sometimes."

I know it's bad but damn it seemed like such a great idea when I was shitfaced.
To clarify it's not a big deal at all if she rejects me, it's not like I'm head over heels for her or anything. I'm just scared that this will fuck up our friendship. After all she has lots of cute friends too that are possible targets, something I have realized can be very valuable when you want to hook up with someone.

Edit: I dont think she has checked her FB yet today (she texted me earlier to ask if I had a good time). Would it be stupid to text her asking if she's checked FB today? That I sent something stupid to her last night when I was drunk.

haha things like that are so awkward, I usually have same stuff when i'm drunk, its funny when u wake up though.

maybe she will be like :awesome, i had the same!
And ur in haha

MATE MATE MATE. First rule of PU DHV. You make it seem as if you are very needy there!! To be honest I'm not too sure how to repair the situation. I would actually not go for the whole 'I was drunk' angle because it makes no difference and it makes you look a bit of a coward and it will still be there in her mind AWKWARD to say the least.

I think the best way to go about it would be to not make any excuses at all and make it seem very sincere. If she says 'but you were drunk right?' say that you meant everything in the message and make her make the next move. Then there are three ways it will go:

1. She will see the message and know you mean it. Then if she doesn't want a relationship she will either ignore you forever.
2. If she values you as a friend but not BF material then she might just forget it ever happened and you guys still be friends but maybe it might escalate in the future to more.
3. Or she might like you as much as you like her and want to be your GF YAY !!!!!!!


Either way text her back like nothing ever happened and that you had a good night. Ignore her for a bit but in a few days/week time try and arrange a catch up in an informal way. If she blows you off then you know how she feels(1) and if not then the topic will probably come up and you guys can resolve it.(2+3).

Hope this is useful advice, you must feel like shit tho pal?? x

Thanks for the advice, I actually texted her back earlier with pretty much what you said ignoring the message from last night completely. So the best thing is to let it be? I guess I'll just have to wait and see how she reacts to it.

And yeah I feel like shit because of it now lol. When will I learn to not overdo my drinking?

Don't worry pal we all get smashed and regret it!

Think of it this way, this has happened to everyone at some stage, possibly when we were younger. Some girl who you have no attraction to but you are good friends with 'asks you out' or you hear from her giggling friends that she 'fancies' you. If you are her friend you will just let her down gently and still be her friend with the knowledge that at one time in the past she fancied you. So what?

This is the same with that girl, if she genuinely likes you then you have nothing to worry about and she will be the one to try and make things ok. If she ignores you completely then she obviously didn't value your friendship mush in the first place so you are better off anyway.

Either way its her loss man, never let yourself think that a girl is better than you. Looks will fade, beauty is common, what the fuck has she got to offer you? She should be fucking lucky to have you!!! This is I think where most frustrated guys trip up, so just go for it, you have nothing to lose and its her loss if she lets you get away.

Good Luck

Yep, I think that was that with her. She must have seen my message as she posted something on her wall but hasn't replied anything. Live and learn I guess.

Just thought I'd update.
Well she sent me a text and shot me down, says she'd prefer we just remain friends, that she see's me like a brother. I'm really glad I got that text, I got rejected and actually it doesn't feel bad at all. I'm taking this as a learning experience towards desencetizing myself to failure. Now I'll just have to work on things not becoming awkward.