really confused by the MIXED SIGNALS urgent help!!!!!!



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 5:54 am 
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I was told by Lodewijkp to repost this question in the general forum area to get some more feedback. I would really appreciated if you guys can give me some feedback

Thanks

Lodewijkp

Well what do you know? I knew this was gonna happen so it did! We finally met up in class today and SHE NEVER SAT NEXT TO ME and SHE DID NOT MAKE ANY EYE CONTACT WITH ME! And I was like this great finally all the BS is gone and I won't have to deal with her and like you mentioned I'm already ready to move on from all this mess. BUT NOOOOOOOO DISASTER STRUCK AFTER CLASS. When I got a TEXT MESSAGE from her: "HEY I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO YOU TODAY BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO RESPECT YOU WANTING SPACE. IM NOT SURE WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN IT BOTHERS YOU THAT I DON'T HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE BUT I WANTED TO SAY IM SORRY THINGS GOT WEIRD BETWEEN US". And I was like F****K dude why can't she leave me alone man? I really don't care and I just wanna move on from this!

So I told her exactly what you mentioned last time I played it off like nothing has happened and I told her that It doesn't bother me at all its your life you can do whatever you want plus I didn't insult you or call you any names so I don't know why you care about this so much?

Then she tells me: I never said you called me names or insulted me. I thought you jumped to conclusions about why I don't hang out with you and those were incorrect I'm so upset about it because I do consider you a friend and i in no way wanted to upset you or hurt you (MAN IM SO TIRED OF THIS BS FROM HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE KEEPS TELLING ME THIS? FRANKLY IM GETTING ANGRY NOW)

So I told her: Don't worry about it!!!!! Im already over it I'm not upset at you anymore so STOP IT!!!!!!!!! and I'm sure there are a lot of other things that are way more important than me in your life and I'm not hurt lets stay focused we have midterms coming up and forget about this mess.

WOW DUDE then she calls me up: And she kept APOLOGIZING TO ME over the phone so I asked her? HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA APOLOGIZE TO ME? And she goes A MILLION TIMES. Dude this chick is so WEIRD I don't know what's her problem? and why she is so worried about me getting hurt or being upset when she has no intentions whatsoever to hang out with me? And she kept telling me over the phone how SHE HAS ANXIETY ISSUES WHEN SHE HANGS OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE BESIDES HER FAMILY AND SHE KEEPS WORRYING ABOUT OTHER STUFF THATS GOING IN HER LIFE AND ALL THIS BSSSSS So I just told her again that I'm OVER IT and I just wanna look pass this

DUDE WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE WANT FROM ME? Please give me some feedback!

Thanks always


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:32 pm 
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so apparently no one can answer my question? I'm just trying to understand this situation and move on from this if this FEMALE FRIEND is not interested in me? Can someone please give me some feedback? I would really appreciate that

Thanks always


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:23 am 
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I read half off that and I have two words for you : Move On :wink:


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:47 am 
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I read half off that and I have two words for you : Move On :wink:
I appreciate your response thank you but this situation is way more complicated than you think? I would love to MOVE ON from this situation, but every time I try to do that she keeps throwing me SIGNALS that she may be interested in me MORE THAN A FRIEND, but I don't know that for sure, because she's very busy with her life and she doesn't have any time to hang out with me. Today was my BIRTHDAY and she texted me very early in the morning, and she also bought me a GIFT to class? A friend can just text each other and wish each other HAPPY BIRTHDAY and that would be totally fine with me! Why did she have to bring me a GIFT? It's complicated dude? so what do you have to say about that?

Thanks for your feedback


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:06 am 
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Hey man, leave this one alone. From what it sounds like, she has emotional/ mental disorders. Its not healthy for you, just leave it be People with disorders like this generally don't operate well in social situations hence why you're getting this kind of response from her.. Go onto something else. You've got game use it!!!!!!! :D

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:52 am 
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Hey man, leave this one alone. From what it sounds like, she has emotional/ mental disorders. Its not healthy for you, just leave it be People with disorders like this generally don't operate well in social situations hence why you're getting this kind of response from her.. Go onto something else. You've got game use it!!!!!!! :D
Vixen_Vix

I totally agree with you I think she has some major issues. I don't know what the hell happened in her last relationship and I don't know why she's like this? But there's a problem she's in my class so I can't ignore her? It's gonna be too obvious that I'm not trying to talk to her. What do you suggest? How should I cope with this? I don't talk or text her too often, so I really don't understand her motivation and why she can't let me go? I would appreciated if you can give me some feedback

Thanks always


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 6:38 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

I totally agree with you I think she has some major issues. I don't know what the hell happened in her last relationship and I don't know why she's like this? But there's a problem she's in my class so I can't ignore her? It's gonna be too obvious that I'm not trying to talk to her. What do you suggest? How should I cope with this? I don't talk or text her too often, so I really don't understand her motivation and why she can't let me go? I would appreciated if you can give me some feedback

Thanks always
I can't tell what you want from her....Do you want to sleep with her??Sounds like she's really into you, but wont let herself show it!!!!

Be direct, if you want, and ask her why she's won't let you go??....There's your 'in' to tell her how you'd like your interactions to be...sexual , friends etc...moveing the relationship forward....In the direction you want to take it....She is awaiting your que's...


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:11 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

I totally agree with you I think she has some major issues. I don't know what the hell happened in her last relationship and I don't know why she's like this? But there's a problem she's in my class so I can't ignore her? It's gonna be too obvious that I'm not trying to talk to her. What do you suggest? How should I cope with this? I don't talk or text her too often, so I really don't understand her motivation and why she can't let me go? I would appreciated if you can give me some feedback

Thanks always
I can't tell what you want from her....Do you want to sleep with her??Sounds like she's really into you, but wont let herself show it!!!!

Be direct, if you want, and ask her why she's won't let you go??....There's your 'in' to tell her how you'd like your interactions to be...sexual , friends etc...moveing the relationship forward....In the direction you want to take it....She is awaiting your que's...
SunnyHolly,

First of all thanks a lot for your feedback its been a NIGHTMARE trying to understand this woman. How should I bring it up though? Because we have never hung out together outside of school. I don't know how she will react if I just bring it up casually on why she won't let me go? Or she might say that I'm not holding on to you or something like that? Plus on top of that she has a MILLION THINGS going on in her head at the same she's a 4.0 student. What do you suggest? How should I ask her?

Thanks always


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:22 am 
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In private....

And be cool clam and collected. Know what you want....

I live my life by alot of things...one is ....The only things that stop you from getting what you want are;
Not wanting it bad Enough;
Someone else's will interfearing with yours. - You can overpower someone elses will in certain circumstances.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:08 pm 
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Quote:
In private....

And be cool clam and collected. Know what you want....

I live my life by alot of things...one is ....The only things that stop you from getting what you want are;
Not wanting it bad Enough;
Someone else's will interfearing with yours. - You can overpower someone elses will in certain circumstances.
SunnyHolly,

Thanks for your feedback once again. We are both super busy with our schedules do you think its okay to just send her an email? Or should I pull her aside after class and just ask her then and there? What do you think?

Thanks always


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:55 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
In private....

And be cool clam and collected. Know what you want....

I live my life by alot of things...one is ....The only things that stop you from getting what you want are;
Not wanting it bad Enough;
Someone else's will interfearing with yours. - You can overpower someone elses will in certain circumstances.
SunnyHolly,

Thanks for your feedback once again. We are both super busy with our schedules do you think its okay to just send her an email? Or should I pull her aside after class and just ask her then and there? What do you think?

Thanks always
Invite her to your place.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 6:15 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
In private....

And be cool clam and collected. Know what you want....

I live my life by alot of things...one is ....The only things that stop you from getting what you want are;
Not wanting it bad Enough;
Someone else's will interfearing with yours. - You can overpower someone elses will in certain circumstances.
SunnyHolly,

Thanks for your feedback once again. We are both super busy with our schedules do you think its okay to just send her an email? Or should I pull her aside after class and just ask her then and there? What do you think?

Thanks always
Invite her to your place.
Dude I don't know if you read my whole thread but what makes you think that if she NO TIME TO EVEN HANG OUT WITH ME that she's actually gonna come to my place?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:23 am 
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What do you want from her?

What level of commitment are you after?

Do you just want to lay her?

Do you want to get rid of her?

There are a lot of varibles. If I know your exact intentions then I may be able to give more specific advice......

But in general. She Likes you ....and if you want her.......

- Escalate Sexual tention
- Kino at every chance

Don't worry bout anything....! Just do it. Wipe her face like she a bit of food on it. Brush her hair back.... Like your already in bed with her.
I have this guy SPAM that consistantly creates frames (even on FB shamelessly).
He does it all the time, talks about me and him sexually.
He constantly keeps the conversation on it...
I'm just happy that someone else can take control of the direction of the convo, its about me having fun and I'm no longer carrying the convo....I'm just responding like a superstar(I feel like the centre of his world)
That is, he controls it......It's fun....It's is so powerful....it weakens barriers....I am too powerful for his framing ......BUT IT WORKS .......If you do it correctly, eventually she will be so used to the touch and sexual images your creating it will seem only the 'right' and 'natural' thing to do. . . . . Frame and kino


Last edited by SunnySider on Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:24 am 
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You're the male, take lead. Alpha, not Beta bro. Tell her to leave you the fuck alone, who cares just another woman that wont be apart of your life . think " I am the prize, you arent shit" I'm sure you'll have time in between classes. Just be direct and you'll be grand, if not get a restraining order haha, no really if it gets really shitty get a restraining order, or just pretend she doesn't exist. Either way, she'll get the clue. Or you can listen to Sunny, she knows whats shes talking about. She'll be your female wingman hah

- Vix :twisted:

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 7:41 am 
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listen, this sounds like something I have familiarized myself with, now tell me if this fits the description,

she is between the ages of 16-24?

she talks to alot of guys/has alot of male friends?

she was the first to escalate the situation, by either touching you, or declaring some sort of interest (ie. giving you a compliment or saying something nice about you) / she is a flirty girl?

when ever faced with some sort of issue that could cause you to stop paying attention to her, she will deny what she has done, to cause this issue to arise?

if the answer is yes to all of the above questions, it is quite possible, you are dealing with a female player!!

she will keep hitting you up, contacting you, she will show some interest and attempt to get you to reciprocate/buy into her frame of flirting or sexting, next thing, if you get direct with her, and the answer is no, she will do everything she can to not lose your interest, she will come up with excuses, she will appologise, she will try to guage what sort of emotional effect she has on you, by saying things like

I like you alot, but blah blah blah excuse for not hanging out,

sorry, please i dont want you to be upset with me etc.

these are the steps you can take to have a chance with this ATTENTION VAMPIRE,

step 1) get direct, tell her in an extremely direct, honest, blunt way, what you want/expect from her and how you feel

step 2) give her a giant burst of comfort, after step 1, you must stop showing interest/kissing her ass, the theme of TODAYS SHOW CHILDREN, is be normal, make her comfortable

step 3) after creating as much comfort as you can during that interaction, give her a day, to hang out, if the comfort was really good, she will agree, try to make it that day, while she is in that state, if later her state of comfort breaks, better chance of her flaking

step 4) if she flakes, but trys to keep contact, you are going to play the indifference card, no more flirting/showing interest, everything is breif, non reactive, polite, but not nice, she has no effect on you, when she starts showing interest in what you are doing/what you have been up to lately, take that time, to say,

I have just been in and out lately, I would love to see you some time, but not today, anyways, I have to go, ttyl

do not contact her, let her contact you, do not invite her out, let her invite you out, if it is one of these

(hey im going to do x on xyz-day, but I might not be able to, would you like to come)

then you are doing something elese

in all of your texting interactions the one thing you want to have in your head, is that her opinion of you, holds no weight, hold that frame when you are presenting indifference, what she thinks of you, absolutely does not matter, make sure your texts reflect this without being rude,

IN SHORT, MOVE ON FROM THIS ATTENTION VAMPIRE, she just wants orbiters on her roster that she can show to her friends, be direct, state what you want, if she does not provide, she is not worth your time


Last edited by pumpington on Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

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