I texted a girl with whom I ended things after fighting. I asked her out for drinks so we could get back in touch. Here is our conversation:

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Me: [After bumping into her after two weeks of no contact, she was awefully friendly] "Hey wanna go for drinks or something tomorrow? I'll let you pay "

Girl: "Sure, just not tomorrow cause I have a full day..."

Me: "Im only available Wednesday after 11 this week."

[Nearly an entire day passes before she replied, I see her message the following morning.]

Her: "Sorry for messaging late but my cell phone had a temporary breakdown haha. I'll let you know tomorrow because of my timetable. So what changed your mind about talking to me??"

Me: "Donno but I've been thinking about it."

[Evening comes and I haven't received anything from her yet.]

Me: "Hey are you coming tomorrow or not?"

Her: "Check facebook " [Apparently she had left me a private message there but it wasn't visible. This has happened both ways before when we dated.]

Me: "I have nothing good woman."

Her: "Huh? I told you that I can't make it tomorrow because I have another course meeting and work after that..any other slots?"

Me: "Well my lecture got cancelled so I have an entire day off if you want to meet before the meeting."

Her: "Meeting is at 10am so its a no Maybe friday after my lecture? 11ish or 12."

Me: [Here is where I mess up] "Haha how long do you think a couple of drinks take? Not even after the meeting? For Friday I have to check if I can tomorrow."

Her: "Check for Friday then, good night Lolzarty "

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I feel that she has all the power up to this point, and that maybe she is hiding something from me by delaying. If I agree to Friday I feel that I would be giving in to her. Did I mess it up badly and how can I fix this? I hate it when she tries to take control like this.

Anyone? I could use some urgent help before Friday please

Hmmm we're missing the story of what happened before these two weeks... you also need to give some info how long after this meeting you sent the text.

I'm not really the text game specialist but based on the very limited info on the situation I would say that's already where it started - she wanted to see whether you still are on her hook and threw some heavy IOIs. And you texted her right away. That's what she wanted to know - still attracted - OK - boring. Call it cat string or something else.

The rest of the convo follows this pattern. Comments like "check facebook" - WTF who does she think she is? (bottom line: she is what you make her feel - the king)

Questions like "do you want to" and statements like "i have an entire day off..." are dangerous and should be used with care and not too frequent.

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Pain is temporary

Stuff like this never comes to my mind. Seriously how do yu learn this stuff? It seems so simple.

Basically what happened before, we were dating for a year then she got distant one day and got offended cause my drunken ass called her jealous. I know that that's what a girl does when she wants to end something, yet I'm still pursuing it.

Unfortunately I texted her about 2 hours after the meeting, so I fucked it up badly apparently. What can I do to "dethrone" her? I'm guessing I should tell her I can't on friday.

What exactly does "dating" comprise? Kissing and f*ing included? (Sry I'm from Germany)

About the current situation... IMO there is no easy way out because you slipped into this frame of throning her in a very convincing manner. So you can't just turn by 180°.

I would try to re-frame this whole situation after your encounter.
- Her impression now: he's desperate to get me back
- Her impression after you're done reframing: SHE was misunderstanding the situation. You are awesome, she never really saw the light, and your life started to change in a very positive way after you two broke up. And you just acted friendly and not needy.

How do you get there? One way would be to let shine through that you have a lot of other options at the moment. In an ideal case, you create the subliminal impression that you feel a little sorry for HER after you broke up and you just wanted to be friendly. Remain distant and friendly and look what happens.

Just my 2c

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Pain is temporary

By dating I mean more like friends with benefits.

I told her that I'm not available on Friday, after which she started to be even more friendly with me.