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Reverse it so women choose based on anything but physical attractiveness?
She didn't quit you and go to him, you just failed to escalate and get her far enough to choose you, he got there first. YOUR probly the only person who thinks she chose him based on looks...
Actually I fucked her first - I was terrified of getting involved with her because I hadn't been in a relationship for years. She meets him, tends to go for him, tells me about a month ago she's getting bored, gives me more chances for escalation, I weird her out, she says she is picking him based on attractiveness, and now, apparently, they're officially dating.
So I screwed that whole situation up. I could have dated her back in January without issue.
Attractiveness is really not just looks. It's attitude and bodylanguage and all that jazz. Good eye contact. Excitement. There's a whole list of attraction switches and things that make a person attractive to the opposite sex.
Me personally.. I tend to think girls accept or reject us as a direct reflection of how much we accept or reject ourselves, in relation to them.
Put yourself in her shoes. You have girls who want to fuck you, not just fuck you but are actually interested in connecting with you as a person. You want connection and this is a good situation.
Now, one of these girls seemed to really stand out from the rest, you take her home and have sex with. You feel there could be something, but there is a wall, some sort of emotional block that makes you feel tense and nervous around her. She's not open to being involved with you. To you it feels like she doesn't want what you want.
So instead of dwelling on it or wondering "ahh wtf is wrong with me" you just do the normal and emotionally healthy thing, you get involved with someone who fits a bit better. Who you feel both more relaxed and excited to be around. But the good feeling starts to wear off and you start to question yourself, did you make the right choice? Am I really that much more into girl #2 than I was girl #1?
You give the first girl a second chance. Maybe something weird was going on in her life totally unrelated. Parents or financial stuff or whatever. You're not going to dump someone steady to go for this inconsistent girl because after all, a bird in hand is worth two in the bush and you don't want to be left with no one.
Get over your issues and into her perspective. If you signal that you are emotionally exciting enough to keep her interested, strong enough to keep her safe (physically AND emotionally) and have enough character that she can trust you, it'll be an easy pick. Attractiveness is in how you make someone feel.
Example: my current girl is an HB7. My last girlfriend was hotter, but I don't give a fuck because this girl is such a joy to be around. That's what counts, in a man, or in a woman.