I was out last night, but fucking hell, this happens to me almost every time I go out now. I get kind of hyped during the day leading up to going out to the club, then before I leave I get nervous, whilst dressing up and all that stuff.

Then when I'm actually out on the streets before going to the club my wing is already approaching people on the streets, but I just can't do it. I don't even feel the usual heart racing or anything, it's a huge lack of motivation. I'm seriously like "Nah man, I don't feel like it" on the outside, but on the inside I really don't want to do it.

As you might know by having read another post by me, I feel like I'm in a down moment in my life, and I want to get this fixed. I was out other times, and at least I approached some girls. I just get so demotivated when I hear my wings number closing and stuff, and I'm still having trouble approaching. I'm so sensitive and I hate it. We didn't get into the club either, as I am not a student and it was student night, and that just added to my demotivation.

I went home in the end without talking to a single girl. I wanted to cry that's how bad I felt. I just feel I'm so different from my wings and everyone in general. My wings have almost no anxiety by now (this is week 4). I still have it by the ton.

I think a lot before I approach, but not conscious thinking. It's all wired in my subconscious by now since I was a child. I think I know it's not going to end well, so what's the point. I realised I'm a pessimist, but even more, I'm a Highly Sensitive Person. Criticism weighs on me like a mountain, even the smallest thing. Like when the bouncer didn't let me in yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about it. This is also why I find it impossible to go direct in my approach. My wings can go direct no problem "Hey, I had to come over and say hi cause I thought you were cute". That seems like my biggest nightmare.

You can call me a pussy and whatever, but I don't know if there is anyone else out there who has overcome this problem? I realised that I am not really depressed per se, but every criticism in my life meant that I was never truly happy because I dwelled on it for a long time which made me unhappy. And it still is like this today.

I don't know what to do. Therapy is not an option for the next month, as I am in London and can only afford therapy if I am back in Austria at home. I'm getting some books like Awaken the Giant Within and NLP stuff, and I'm making goals for myself and a daily reflection sheet, but will any of this help me overcome my sensitivity to life?

OK you really need to relax and enjoy life. I think your problem is you think too much before you do something. Don't think and just do it. If you succeed, great, and if you screw up, see where you screwed up. Go into clubs/bars/ wherever with a smile on your face and with a positive vibe, because girls can sense that.

I know how you feel, I was just that way until very recently when I learned to take things with a pinch of salt. I am afraid of criticism (well, thats because I have extremely critical parents, I don't know about you), but I've learned how not to allow that get the better of me. If you feel disheartened that all your friends are closing and you're not, let them know and see what they say; they will most likely help you find a solution to your issues. Also observe how your friends act in a club and take note of that. Do not be afraid of failure, see failure as a lesson and you can learn.

I took this advice from someone in this forum, and he instructed me to take a piece of paper, write "go on, don't be a pussy" and I would read it when I get into a club. Sounds cheesy but it did help me. At the end of the day you got nothing to lose.

hope this helps and chin up

_________________
There's no I'll try, its do or die

instead of writting a long post here, i would highly recommend you the following books
secrects of alpha male
appha male primer,
gamble's inner game stuff,
also use the technique of , "affirmation"
it's just inner game problem.

also read
natural game
pua diary
by gambler
and real world seduction
by swingcat

To me, this is a simple fix. Your ego is getting in your way of you being rejected. It's going into it's own self defence mode, which is working cause you're not even trying. Drop the ego and you'll drop your problem.

Your problem might be that you're so down you feel like a rejection could kill you. Don't see it as you failed in closing but as you succeeded in attempting.
There are days when I don't feel like dancing but then there's other to push trough. Ask your mates to do the same. Make em force you.

I just want to say that you're not alone. I had a night like this not too long ago, and it felt exactly as terrible as you've described. I wish I could offer advice, but I don't know any. It feels like a low point in my life too. At least you have wings to motivate you to keep practicing - I'm all alone in Savannah, as far as I can tell.

The fact that you're frustrated and posting on this forum shows that you're not just going to give up. I think that's important. Keep pushing until you find the answer, I'll be doing the same.

I know exactly your problem, nobody has touch on it, i have seen it over and over in Business specially sales, i have seen it numerous time in martial arts, i can keep on and on and on. I can not believe nobody caught your problem is you are compering yourself to your wings, your wings are SUCCEEDING, at a very rapid pace, and you feel demoralized and as a loser, cause you are not succeeding as fast as they are... That is the problem, you need to either sarge alone for a while, or do not hang out with your friends for a while, or do not sarge at all for a while. the best book for inner game, is the one you already reading, and also Pastor Joel Osteen first 2 books... Stop comparing yourself to others, just go out and do your best, but if you do not feel like you do not have to..

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

(Read this while listening to
God Moving Over The Face Of The Waters - MOBY,
i'm about to inspire you)

I think I can vouch for everyone
when I say we have all been in that position where we see the girl,
we want to talk to her but then you begin to think too much and
you begin to think of the shit that might get you blown out or rejected out of fear.
...no dude, you fucking push through that pain and penetrate that
wall that is holding you back and you approach like you dont give
a shit about the outcome, you walk up to your target with
your heart pounding harder and harder AND HARDER
with every step closer you take to her and you then
take that final step in her direction and you lay
down the opener like its no one's business
but you're own, and as you take those
final steps you carry on dude cause
its too late to turn back now you're
already too far deep in that the only
way forward is to approach her from the
back cause thats how we do it and thats the way its done, when you finally
open to that girl you're going to deliver that line so solid
that time in itself will freeze just for you and her and as you
begin talking to her you realise that it all happened in 2 seconds
flat, that opening is all it took for you to get that confidence back that
you lacked from just 30 seconds back, and as you eject with that smile
on your face you get that adrenaline rushing through your veins and you
use that momentum to approach another, and another and another and
another until that confidence becomes embedded in your brain, now you've
got the tools you'll no longer look like a fool because when you approach
a girl you dont know and never met but would like to get to know,
that is when you appear alpha to the other guys there want to know,
How the fuck did he do it...? It's all in your head dont think,
just approach, don't have the end result in mind and
you wont ever choke. Speak clearly, stomach in,
chest out, hands up and feet on the ground,
the process starts all over again my friend
cause in the end there is only one thing
that sets you apart from all the AFC's
that try to do what you do and you
know what that is? It's the set of
skills you now embed, but dont
let it get to you're head,
cause if you don't
approach now,
thats one more
night alone,
in your,
bed.

_________________
'Bitches aint shit' - Chai