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| soothingdarkness | PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:42 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:39 am Posts: 4 | | I'll try and keep this as brief and honest as I can:
Invested a lot of game in this particular girl over the summer, had to tread carefully as both of us were in relationships. Every time I got close to the point of closing I could never quite defeat her LMR plus had a couple of crazy nights where any random thing that could interfere happened to create obstacles. We were v close and the attraction was clearly there but it started to get a lil difficult.
Could feel the attraction begin to leak away and it was all becoming less easy than before so I became busy for a while to see if she would re-engage.
She got back in touch and wanted to meet, I kept it quite cool the first time and she wants me to go see her at uni - my view would be that this means I'm still in with a shout but I'd be interested if anyone agrees or disagrees.
Where I'd appreciate some help is the frame side of things: I'm naturally pretty cocky / funny / sarcastic which works fine for me but there are a couple of drawbacks with this now.
- it works best when you are really close to someone and you know what's going on in their life so its easy to tease and banter. This is no longer the case with this girl and I don't want to rake up old banter.
- I've found in the past that when re-engaging with someone where you have history, theres a danger that c+f or teasing comes across as being a dick because you have a slight distance between you that can't be bridged in this way, plus they almost know you too well to go back to that. It's a good method for breaking the ice and becoming more intimate but when you've been there I'm not sure it works again?
Can anyone give a bit of advice on how they approach reframing in this kind of situation? Is it even necessary to reframe? I suppose its only sensible to ask if this can even go anywhere?
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| Beyond Pick Up | PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 1:43 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Addict |  | Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 5:43 pm Posts: 237 Website: http://beyondpickup.net/ | | old rules still apply "attraction cut's through everything"
you may not be realizing it but the attraction is maybe fading so go ahead and do something about it. go back to learning the fundamentals of it and apply it.
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