I'm usually in control here but with this one I'm not. I think I'm in the L word (fuck) and basically this is the deal. I'm married (separated) and have met a lot of girls but this one is a girl that I'm seriously into. She's not overly hott but she's by far the coolest girl i've ever known.

We started off texting and we hit it off. We got drunk together and she kissed me on the cheek a few times (I did ask) and last night she went out with our roomie and texted me at like midnight asking if I'd come "save" her because she was the third wheel at a club. She tells me she needs a heart to heart so I take her out tonight and she tells me about her talking to a couple dudes and how she has trust issues. We hold hands throughout the meal but it was me making the move. had a great time. Go down on the beach and she sits in my lap and buys us two lei's. Then I tried to K close and she rejected. So I told her that I was done. I wasn't going to chase a girl that wasn't into me. I've got other girls and I don't need her. I basically just rejected her the whole way back to the car and when we got in the car she kept playing these songs on my Iphone. They were like love songs.

I just had a good time with it and didn't pay attention to her and just sang like I always do to act like she hadn't ripped my soul out. I fucked up because I told her stuff I hadn't told anyone and basically sat back and let her tell me her life story--and actually cared.

So basically when we got back I made sure to delete everything about her. Deleted her number, her FB, her text... Everything. Right move or what? I think it's the only logical thing to me because the last thing I want is to friend zone. I'd rather die than give her that satisfaction TBH....

What's the question here? Moving on is a brilliant idea, if she isn't interested in its the best thing you can do to save your self some sanity.

Can anything be done? Seriously doubt it.

She seemed like she wanted a guy to pay her attention and treat her all nice since these 'couple of dudes' played the bad guy routine on her while you were playing 'mr nice guy'.

The question is I guess if anything can be done, what? Did I make the most optimal move here?

Well seeing as you didn't want to accept the friends situation cutting her out is the best thing you could of done yeah. If she starts having doubts on it she will come crawling back.
I personally would of locked her out of my life like you have, now you are dictating the terms of the friendship/relationship.

would have just kept trying, it's to bad you had a reaction, her not letting you kiss her, should have just been met with a smile or a giggle and then try again later, again and again and again, she will eventually give in, or just stop talking to you/being around you, and at that point you don't need to worry about breaking contact etc.

how did she rip your soul out?, she didn't put out immidiately at the first indication of interest from you?, don't be a big baby, if she will still go out with you, man up, keep trying to escalate, calibrate to how she acts, make her more horny, be better, until she gives you a real rejection, a real full out rejection, not this false barrier shit your talking about

there is no such thing as friend zone, there is just interest and disinterest,

if you are a pussy, there is a friend zone, if you are not a pussy, just interest or disinterest, and if the answer is disinterest, no worries, she will break contact 1st, and be the 1st to become flaky and unresponsive,

good luck

Agreed; you over-reacted.

I would wait for her to initiate contact if there has been enough prior interest and take it from there. Or wait 2 weeks and go for it again. Don't make such a scene next time.

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Totally agree with u guys. I guess it has just been so long since i actually cared about a girl. I guess in the end i was just looking to stay out of the friend zone. To me being a girls friend is like being her boy friend w/o the sex so i like to make sure i stay out of that boat.

Well, you did what you had to.

Now, if she did not contact you, all this time that you've been out of touch with her, that just tells you two things

A - She wasn't as interested, as you thought she was.

OR

B - You failed to build enough attraction with her. And then, over-reacted when she did not respond to your overtures.

Either way, moving on sounds like the best option.

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This exacly why i love this site. Great advice! Basically this girl is my roomate and this all happened last night so ill let u know. I did come in after all this happened and asked my other roomie for a back rub. While i was laying on the floor the girl im interested in comes over and gives me a back rub. Its unreal how i have all the answers when im not emotionally vested but the minute i get some feelings it fucks with my head and i dont make the best decisions. FML