Anyone relate to this ? im totally confused...

long story here... short story far below
Im not attracted to woman...it's not like im gay... im just too attracted to myself and i have to make myself feel attraction towards someone else. someone cannot make me attracted to them...somehow it doesn't work...

what i have noticed is instead of seeking approval ( which all men do in a certain degree ) im actually giving approval.

im not trying to make her like me... im trying to make me liking her...

when i interact with a emotionally unhealthy woman who are have low morals, most of the times i notice their low values later when i talked with her.
( unless i forsee their manipulative behaviour of course )

But at this point i already made myself attracted to her (im almost never attracted but impulsive and manipulative woman somehow get to me) ..it's not bad because i can generate my own sincere feeling of attraction and emotions - it's great and energizing. But when she does have low morals i already made myself into liking her...when it turns out to be a total whore bitch in or before the relationship im already attached.

i try to change her morals and values ( like a parent) which ends in her losing attraction ( towards me)...but because im addicted to making myself liking her im actually changing myself and my own morals unconciously in order to relate to her ( into liking her ).- im dragged into the same waters.....of bad immature behaviour...her low morals and ego.

once she's losing attraction(towards me ) im starting to seek approval because i need to know if she likes me or not because i already made/dragged myself into liking her.

does anyone had this inner game issue.... ?

my emotions come first because i am enjoying myself too much with my game...at the cost of my inner game and personal values.

once im attached to this kind of woman they drag me down..sometimes we both aren't even realizing we are doing it.
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in short
so i make myself attracted to her.. she cannot make me feel attracted to her...then we get psychological trade and that depends if she's immature or a mature person. Destructive vs constructive interaction... i shouldn't let myself in with bad people..

i gamed her...then i notice her uncovering her manipulative behaviour or flaws... now i try to change her so i can keep liking her because i made myself liking her otherwise i cannot bring myself to interact with her in the first place.

because i try to change her ( not accepting ) she loses attraction .. now i feel insecure about my game and im starting to seek approval...

i start seeking approval of woman and most aren't emotionally healthy and it always turns into a mess...

problem is if i make the descision to quit interacting... just getting those bad woman out of my life ( or good woman ) i feel totally deflated and stressed... because i need to make the descision to cut of my emotions which i generated myself....i cut off my own self emotional expression...

i feel like dating and relationships are quicksand for me....im totally confused... any comments .. thanks !

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Well, I am going to answer to my knowledge, and I might be wrong.

The first thing I noticed is that I have a similar mindset, in part, to the fact that I feel a disconnection from the world.

That I focus a bit more on myself, than the women I'm with. And in turn, I make them qualify as to why.

But, that's not the issue here.

It's about the whole scenario you create when you get too attached to the woman, we always, always advise against a high level of attachment simply because our behaviors are prone to change, in those situations and we cannot take the decisions objectively. You get so attached to these women, then when you 'change' her (and you shouldn't, if that's what's required for you to keep liking her) at some level there's a resentment in a girl about you not accepting her for what she is and instead trying to make her some version of herself, that will cater to your set values. And hence, she loses attraction because she thinks you're not attracted to her but an idea of her, if that makes sense.

"We go after the things, that go away from us."

That explains why you start seeking approval from them, when they lose attraction. You're confused because if anything, she should be thankful for your efforts in making her a better person, but she isn't. Quite the contrary, in fact.

So, Lodewijkp, my suggestion here is to find women with whom you can induce a minimum level of change, if at all, so that she doesn't get the wrong ideas.

Your game is fine, you just need to re-evaluate your level of attachments with these women, and not let it get out of your control.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

The good thing is- you've already described what the problem is, you just need a solution. I can't promise this the greatest post ever- but hopefully you get something from it.

Remember like a month back I posted on KISA? The Knight in Shining Armor Complex? Yeah- you got it too.

Women like that are drawn to me as well- it's because they sense we are strong, stable, well framed people. They appear normal and fun on the outside and then later we find out how fragile they are.....

The thing that has helped me is- going to places normal women go to---instead of sarging bars, I go to a book store just an example.

Also- if I do uncover a bad side of them, I give them like a chance- if she doesn't change on her own, I cut ties....I am not here to fix her......that's on her....

Just keep yourself at a distance until you figure out what kind of people they are. Protect your heart. Jealously guard until she has earned the right to share it.

Look for warning signs ahead of time....does she seem needy, call or text a lot, jealous, possessive, if she's got a couple? Drop...

Also- once you get attached, they start disliking you because you're trying to change them- people hate change.....then you chase after her because you sense you're losing her and then that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy....

You just got to let some people like this go...sometimes they'll even come running back when you do.

Good luck dude.

Lode, I have always respected your game, especially your inner-game. I may be wrong, but what I see as the problem is something I noticed in myself as well. See if this sounds like you:

You are so accomplished and knowledgeable on attraction, that that has become the mode of choice. Your focus when gaming is on making sure you are attracted to the girl, or that the girl is attracted to you. And it makes you great at "picking up" girls, but they're the kind that are only best for one night deals. Instead, what you're looking for is something more long-term. The only problem is that for so long, you've focused on the attraction deal, and mainly between you and a girl who is like that.

When you realize that what you got is not what you wanted, you try to change it, when that doesn't work, you try to get another. But every tie it's going to be the same, because that's who you're most used to gaming, so it's now the natural inclination.

I think M2 has something. Go to bookstores, libraries, malls, rather than bars and clubs. Those places will have more the type of girl that you are looking for right now, I believe. I would recommend Tariq Nasheed's books, as they very clearly detail the mentality for finding a girl like the one it looks like you're looking for, and also goes very in depth with what the warning signs are for avoiding girls like the ones it seems that you're finding.

I may be 100% off, but I hope I've heard the problem correctly and that my advice serves you well. Good luck, man!

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

you all have valid points !... spot on

don...

yeah i also feel a disconnection from the world.. i can only connect myself to the world , someone cannot make me connect to certain things. I think this is a very good thing otherwise all those external things will confuse us with emotions. So true...im actually wasting energy on something useless, im trying to make someone better but the truth is that they don't want to change. People just attack you when you are being honest... maybe im just blind or emotionally mature but when someone does something stupid.. And she agrees that it's stupid, but she doesn't know why or doesn't want to know. Im just shooking my head...

they display fucking destructive behaviour but they don't even know it... i was looking to this woman and thinking '' doesn't she know ? can't she see it really '' ? but she has been in that mindset for years - it's just amazing how the most intelligent people can have huge blindspots that they cannot see. Alot of smart or dumb people can be so certain in a stupid way.. it's unbelievable. im going to focus on this !

M2
yeah it's just amazing.. last few dates really shook my reality. Some woman i know who fucks guys in like after 5 minutes and a stranger from the internet after a few words told me she needs to give me stablity..lol..i got attracted to her before knowing all this shit and she really seemed a smart and well rounded person. She probably got all kinds of emotional problems because she's clearly attracted to me but she doesn't want to fuck me, i feel the same thing. But that chicks wants to give me stability ? lol .. she doesn't even show emotions in regular chit chat conversations. When someone gives you something they probably wants such thing themselfs.

i meet the most weird people...i don't care they are weird or not but having them around will me fuck up my boundaries and values, still some shit really is disturbing... some woman told me they want to be raped and that kind of shit.. i was like jezus what the hell is this shit? ?

they are all fucking emotional wrecks who needs your stability and emotions to fill up their own gap. Even tho all these woman are totally attracted it doesn't go anywhere and they keep getting back for more... like they want me to be a parent who says '' look stop this shit blablabla'' fucking draining me of all my emotional energy.
i totally agree....it doesn't matter who is right or not, or who is the better person - if they are whore or not. they result is important.. do we get both benefit out of it ? no.. she gets emotionally attached and i expose my values to her.. fucking lose lose situation.

im getting warning signs from one woman in particular ( who is hard to analyze in general) , she doesn't text me unless im questioning her moral beliefs ( she wants to prove hse's right and ok with it) , she does intiate all conversation , she doesn't tell much about herself.... i think she tries to make me jealous because she didn't told me anything personal about her - she didn't share any emotions but she does talk about extreme sexual things to me... im ok with having sex but im not going to throw away my moral compass and values.

it's not like im going to avoid these woman... im going to reject them everytime they want attention from me..knowing is not enough...i must exercise the will and honesty - my clear intention. Im not going to get those people out of my life i just reject them, telling them im bussy. i need to exercise my will to reject such people and put them on the last place.. since they are not important at all.

i will keep every phone number.. i will keep every email adress in my chat... i am just going to tell them im bussy everytime they engage conversations with me. Exercising massive will to stop talking to such people and say no to attention and sexual interest.

Freshprince..

you are spot on ...i totally agree i have been in that mindset for too long ( massive amounts of nightgame). Im going to put myself in positions and eviroments which are productive and suits my values. Im going to pick up that book !

finding a good woman is really hard...very rare...

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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