Direct or Indirect? Aggressive or Cool? Put all your cards on the table, or tease her and keep her guessing?
Ok so I've been thinking about these questions for a while. I wanted to try and write down my ramblings to make some sense out of it. Hopefully you guys can help.
A part of me wants to lead strongly all the time while a part of me wants to be "cool" and make things more mutual, with the girl making 50% (?) of the effort.
Here are some examples:
Opening:
Direct/Agressive: - put all your cards on the table at the start, she knows you like her
Indirect/Cool: - leave her guessing, tease her, push/pull
Setting up a day 2:
Direct/Agressive: - "I want to see you again"; if she is difficult to pin down to a day and time, keep pushing until she agrees
Indirect/Cool: - using push/pull techniques, keeping her guessing - getting her to make more of an effort, maybe even getting her to suggest the day 2
Bad behaviour from the girl:
Direct/Agressive: - letting the girl know in no uncertain terms that her behaviour won't be tolerated (without showing any anger obviously)
Indirect/Cool: - the cool guy who is unfazed, ignore bad behaviour unless it's really bad (I'm thinking of things like flaking, not doing things she says she's going to do)
The thing to think about is - sometimes bad behaviour starts out with simple things that don't warrant being busted on, and escalate from there. It can be hard to know when to draw the line (like a frog being boiled). Sometimes you can bust on something minor and she thinks you're being a little princess. Or do you ignore everything up to a point and then have to punish brutally for something big (ie. leave her). I think the answer lies in between but it's a difficult balance.
Conclusion:
I believe the direct, strong technique is easier to do and fits better with my no bullshit, slightly impatient, personality. I actually find it difficult to discipline myself to "tease" a girl and work with shades of grey. But, ultimately, I think that is also a good approach. I think it just depends on the situation.
Anyway, I know this is a bit of a random post that tries to find similarities between things that aren't really that similar, but who knows? Maybe they are
What do you guys think? I'm all ears
