Does anyone else see a problem with the "general questions" section of this forum? What I mean is that literally half of the threads are involving some chode and "this one girl". The way I see it, if you care enough about a girl to actually go on a forum and ask for advice on how to "not screw it up", you've already screwed it up.

Pickup isn't some fucking magic pill that you just pop in and viola! you're suddenly a pimp. It's an art that has to be learned. It's like learning math. If you mess up on a problem, learn from your mistake and try another one. No big deal. It's only a big deal if you keep screwing up (likely on similar problems). In which case, it does you no good to keep asking help on each problem. Chances are, you are missing out on one of the basic theories that governs the problem, which you need to learn. In other words, don't worry about having the "perfect body language". Worry about not giving a shit. Don't waste your energy thinking about the most interesting story that never happened to you. Make your life more interesting. Stop thinking about how to come across as alpha. Be alpha. Be awesome, and everything else will fall into place. The best way to do this, of course, is to just go out and do cold approaches. Tons and tons of experience. But never get caught up in a single girl. Always see the bigger picture here.

I'm not some RSD freak, but I do think they (TD especially) have the best game material out there. Pickup isn't a product. It isn't something you do. It's a lifestyle. It's who you are. Girls don't like you because you can tell some bullshit stories about an event that never happened, or because you know that having a ring on the thumb represents Poseidon and independence. They like you for who you are.

You cannot get the girl. You can only get a girl. What I mean is this. A lot of people ask for specific instructions on how to get some girl, and what they are really asking for is a quick fix. There are no quick fixes. This mentality in and of itself is wrong. Think of it like this: there are two fisherman on a boat. One has his eye on a particular fish. He studied the shit out of that fish. He got customized lure, customized hook, customized rod, all for getting this one fish. Then there is the second fisherman, he has a giant fucking net. They both throw their instruments down into the water. Who do you think has a higher chance of getting that particular fish? The second fisherman, of course. And he gets more than just any one fish, he has a whole net-full.

This is how it is with women. If you spend your time and energy worrying about any one fish, you just end up wasting time and energy. Because chances are, some guy with a huge net is going to take her away from you. And then you're screwed because you invested so much in your customized equipment that only works for that one fish. You become depressed and foreveralone.

Don't worry about how to attract a single girl. Worry about how to be attractive. Then the girl(s) will come to you. And in the end, you will have more than you bargained for.

I would agree with the gist of what Khrem posts above. A lot of new PUA exercises, the whole apparatus of routines and so on, is effective--it's actually a form of behavioral therapy known in some circles as "fake it until you make it"--that is really only intended as a crutch, a temporary measure to push you out of one kind of social being and open space for another to emerge. Getting stuck on crutches is not my idea of a good time.

I was Mr. Supercrap with girls (way below AFC) into my late 20s--but, and this people found weird at the time--I was always alpha around guys. (I would have had a lot more fun when I was young if I was gay!) It was just who I was and I could never figure out a way to translate that to girls. I never went through the contemporary PU formula stuff when I was younger--though I have found it interesting and use some of it at times because I like to experiment. Instead I met this hot bi-girl who was both totally into me and totally into pick-up. I learned my game from here.

The three things she always told me to keep in mind when I go in:

1) girls are NOT goddesses,
2) you do a service to the world when you have fun,
3) be yourself--but your better self--and you can't be your better self if you think girls are goddesses or that you shouldn't be having fun

These days when I go out, I don't go out to pick up--I go out to have fun, whether it's a nightclub or an errand or hell, even to work. Game is not a way to get over on the world, to put up a fake facade to fool everyone into thinking you are cool. At best its a mindset that says: I have a choice, I be bored, lonely, and anxious, or I can be happy, hooked-up, and loving life.

Instead of saying don't worry about "acting alpha" or "seeming alpha," be alpha, I'd say for myself I'm in life, and this is the only fucking one I'm ever going to have, for the joy of it. Use your powers for good, not evil--and the good definitely includes getting laid.

Now, one other point related to the "this one girl" posts on the board: one explanation is the one Khrem throws out above--and again I agree, if you are too fixated on one girl, and trying to find the magic formula to nail her, that's a problem for you, for her, and for the world at large. But, what I also see running through the "this one girl" posts is a lack of self-consciousness or capacity to generalize from cases.

The guys posting these "this one girl" posts are more than likely chronically finding themselves in this kind of position (I'll skip the neuro-chemistry lesson regarding the rush of adrenaline + oxytocin that leads to "crushed-out" fixation), and not able to see beyond the case, to the class of phenomena. A little introspection, and pattern recognition, would go a long way towards freedom from this particular self-imposed shit test.

_________________
Cuts like a knife

Man, I've been wanting to make a similar thread. When I was starting out, I really didn't care about any single girl; I was just doing approaches until I couldn't do anymore as often as possible, and I didn't focus on a single one of them unless something extraordinary happened.

My instructor told me: your first 50 dates don't count, because that's how long it takes for you to stop being a beginner and that's when you can start fine-tuning. And that's what I did: went on 50 dates in something like 10 weeks. Just to improve my skills; not once did I feel a real need to worry about a date going badly. Why? Because I always had another 5+ numbers in my phonebook I could call.

If you got a girl's number and she's acting cold towards you, you shouldn't be thinking about what to do next. You should be thinking about getting 20 more numbers. I wish more guys would have the same mentality, man. Just work on your skills!

The problem is that everyone becomes so invested into this one girl! If you go out into the field more often and do approaches and work on your skills, that "one girl" becomes irrelevant to you, and that gives you the ability to make level-headed decisions. That's what guys should aim for.

_________________
To download the 53-page Manual of Confidence for FREE, visit my blog
Why Men Suck at Sex (fun read) - LINK