I'm having a really hard time with this problem...

I've been into PUA for almost 3 years, got good results. I know in direct interaction, you're supposed to be the first to talk, lead the conversation, etc.

As for texting and Facebook and messenger... I have some degree of success when talking first to girls, saying C&F stuff and so forth... BUT...

I noticed some guys get the girls to talk to them first. Not face-on-face, but on facebook and texting and stuff. Now, I find it odd because I never experienced any of that, save for very rare exceptions.

This brings us to the bigger problem, which right now is leading me to a pretty fucked situation.

It goes like this: I have this girlfriend ( 2 months relationship) that sometime, not very often, texted me first (back when I was gaming her). Now that it's official, she NEVER TEXTS OR CALLS ME FIRST. I want to know where she is go hang out with her, I have to call her. And the texts I send her, she takes forever to reply.

The other day, I started noticing she liked every single video from my best friend's facebook. It's so odd, sometimes she is the one who likes it.

As suggested by a friend, I investigated a little. Today I did something I not particularly proud of: while my best friend was in the bathroom, I checked his facebook. When to the chat list, and there is my girlfriend. They chat regularly, and she initiates the conversation like 70% of the time, telling him things that happened to her that she doesn't talk to me about.

I'm pretty down right now, I know this is kid's stuff, but I can't figure it out.

So I guess my questions would be...

Is there anyway to turn the tables and start having girls I'm already friend of talk to me first?

And how should I handle this thing with my girlfriend and best friend?


Would appreciate your output on this, cause I don't fucking see a way out of this...

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"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."

I will take those in reverse order: Handling the thing with your best friend: My point of view there is nothing to handle. Now, I admit that I am working from an assumption that runs like this: your GF of a couple months who will barely return your texts and is hitting on your friend like she's Mike-fucking-Tyson in his prime is NOT the love your your life. My apologies if that is incorrect. That said, and assuming that the best friend is someone you care about, I would shrug off his behavior without even a second thought. Put yourself in his place: HB starts giving you tons of e-IOIs, what would you do?

With her: Decide if you give a shit or not. Personally, if she was obviously still into me and flirting with my friend, then I couldn't care less. (Hell, I wouldn't care if she wanted to fuck him--but a lot of drama and sneaking around would annoy me.) The real issue is she is sending you a ton of indicators of disinterest, whether she knows it or not.

So again, how hard you work changing that is up to you. What I would do is give her a lot of "I'm busy" signals. If she wants to make the effort to pursue you, then fine, otherwise, let her go.

Finally on facebook--first, don't care about it so much. You can't get laid on facebook. I deleted mine a couple of years ago because I got too many openings and IOIs from girls (long story about why this is a problem, but it includes a live-in GF at the time and my occupation). How did I get all that e-attention? I posted links to weird stuff and wrote funny laconic comments about it, but not too often--if it looks like facebook is your life, you are only going to attract cranked out internet junkies. Photos of myself having a good time and looking like it (not drunk and stupid, just loving life). But most of all, the e-IOIs came from girls I had not tried to pick up, or had flirted with in only a really minor way. A lot of them, in fact, were exactly other people's GFs (or wives... I am older). If you take the "take it or leave it" attitude on facebook, you will have a happier life.

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Cuts like a knife

First off, personally, any girl who isn't giving as much into a relationship as I am (or nothing at all for that matter), I break up with. As soon as I figure it out. Doesn't matter if she's more interested in someone else or just lazy.

With that in mind. Should you be upset with her? Nah. Maybe for not telling you, and wasting your time on her when she was spending it with someone else. But don't get upset with her or your friend. In fact, don't bother mentioning any of this to them. They're going to do what they're going to do. SO break up with her, and let things take their natural course. Reasoning when she asks? "You're just not putting in the same effort". Simple, and then everyone is happy. They get each other, and you're free to find some other girl who appreciates you.

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

If you are down right now about the gf not being invested into the relationship as much as you want her to be or because you think she is interested in dating other people and not you, you should ask her to marry you right now. If you don't believe you can ever find a better woman than her, ask her to marry you, because if she is the best woman you will ever meet, you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

If there are some things you don't like about her that make you not want to spend the rest of your life with her and make you hope there are better women out there, then choose not to be down and go out and get to know different girls who might not have the same faults as your gf.

pyuya , I want to do many things with my life, but marrying at 19 isn't definitly one of them lol

Now, as for the matter... I went out with her today. I did not gave her as much attention as I did before. She must've picked that up, cause she got all touchy and shit. Then I talked with her directly about the fact that she never calls first and stuff. She says she's so sorry and that she does that to pretty much everyone else.
I also told her that it kinda looks that her interest in me is not so big as mine in her.

About other guys... I'm not worried. I know she's not seeing anyone else, and the thing with my best friend? I don't give a shit. I know he's kinda jealous, but he also knows that if I ever knew that he was gaming her or otherwise, there would be hell to pay.

Other point: I'm not 100% sure, but I think all of these problems come from the fact that she was cheated on by her ex-bf, and only discovered through facebook. I believe that right now, she doesn't want to obey the typical rules of relationships.

And that's cool. We can make our own rules.

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"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."

The problem is you know that is not true. She is lying to you. She DOES initiate contact and conversation with other people and she is doing it with your buddy.

It sounds like HE is the special person in her life if he is the only one she is initiating convo with and you are just one of the pack. Not good.

Now you are just trying to justify her behavior. Everyone has been cheated on, everyone has been abused or neglected by their family to one degree and everyone has problems. That doesn't give people license for bad behavior.

She is making her own rules alright and her rules are she is getting emotionally invested with your buddy and engaging with him things she doesn't do with you.

Again, not good.

It may be time to have a serious discussion on her what each of you wants from this relationship and where you want it to go. She is divesting in you and investing in someone else. This relationship may be coming to an end soon.

Hear, hear! Here2play just wrote the exact two things I was about to say. Listen to him carefully, man.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"