Hey what's up guys,


I'm meeting up with a girl I msg'd on okc tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm playing my cards right

We are most likely going to go out for drinks and food. I was wondering about the paying situation. To build more attraction I shouldn't being paying, right? But from this conversation it seems like she's expecting me to pay:
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On Okcupid:

ME: Hey what's up, how are you? Are you practicing law in Lodi?
HB9: I was going to, until about 5 days ago, when the firm informed me they are closing down. AGONY But I'm here now, and looking for jobs, and available for drinks and/or food with charming and/or handsome men, preferably both. Yes?
ME:Ahh I'm sorry to hear that. That does sound agonizing. But... If you try hard enough, compromise a lil and remain optimistic, something always comes up. So go get 'em tiger! Are you free sometime this week? I come to the Stockton area quite often. My rlly good friend lives there
HB9:I'm free pretty much all the time right now... So yes, definitely let me know when you're in town! You're in Merced, right? An hour and a half...that's not TERRIBLE. My number is (***) ***-***4, and my name's **na.
ME: 1.5 hrs.. Yeah I think I can handle that, it's hwy 99 so bleh. I'll let txt you soon and hopefully we can come up with a game plan. Nice to "meet" you lol I'm Del, btw
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I wait about 2 days and text her this:
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ME: **na?
HB9: Yes?
ME: This is Del from okc lol. How are you?
HB9: I'm good, how about yourself?
ME: I'm good, just stuck in traffic. I'm on my way home from the bay area. You have an OC number? I recognize the *** area code. I used to live in costa mesa
HB9: Yes, I'm from there. Born there and went to UCI for 5 years...I miss it! Really hope I can move back soon. I just moved here from the bay area, incidentally
ME: Really? Yeah, living in that area was a blast. There's a big chance I may be moving back to southern cal soon. You're starting to sound like me... I just moved back to Merced from sf! Are you able to hang out tomorrow?
HB9: No, I have plans...but after that I'm free. I'm also trying to move back to OC/LA soon. Lol
ME: K how about Wed? I can't do Thurs or Fri. And since I'm coming to you, you can pick the place (: How did you end up working for a firm in Lodi of all places?
HB9: It's a long story... Wednesday works for me.
ME: Sounds good
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I'm sure that she's dating other guys too bcz of her free time. I'm sure those guys are also paying for her dinner. Although money isn't an issue for me, I wanna build the best possible attraction. Should I pay or not? I don't want to look desperate. I am also driving 1.5 hrs to go see her. What do you guys think?

May be too late, but thought I'd try since I'm new here and wanna contribute.

I always assume I'm paying if I take a girl on a date. If she offers +1. If not +0.

Paying won't necessarily increase her attraction for you. But not offering may decrease attraction.
If you expect her to pay it could be a downright turnoff. Girls like gentlemen (not pushovers).
Dating like this is different and more personal than say club game, where refusing to buy a drink for a pushy girl like her little bitch could actually increase her attraction.
I think you need to change your frame.
You're the prize here. Show her a good time and see if she's worthy of your time and resources.

It's bad to bring your wallet into a situation, if i remember right for a "hangin out" meal to find out if either of you are interested in eachother it should be pay for your portion. If you pay she gunna get used to your money, and ur handouts, if she pays your a ass and shes dominant.

I make chicks pay for my shit all the time. An under no circumstance does it make them dominate.

In this situation, I doubt this chick has much money but since your driving an hr and a half she better pay for something. Just ask her when she gets in the car. "you have money right" if she says no say " where'd u think you were going?" an if she still doesn't ask to go to an SPAM or something say " well I hope you enjoy being sober and hungry" then just pay, that was punishment enough but give her a spending limit

Says who? Gentlemen always pay on the first date.
Wow. Well, I am laughing, sorry.

Talk about a woman looking to score a job and free meals. I mean could she be any more obvious? I don't think so. Sounds like a smart girl, or someone who just thinks she's smart, but is an idiot to the smarter people.
More head shaking on my end.

Firstly, the whole "you're starting to sound like me" line was identification with her, you shouldn't be the one making the identification, she should be. Also, there's a rule for snipers, which I consider are the utmost professionals : Never identify with the target. Makes you err in your decision. Never a good thing.

Secondly, YOU are coming to her. YOU should choose the place. Don't let this one get your pants off with an expensive bill. Also, her short replies suggest that she's not too excited about meeting you.

She IS obviously dating other guys. I don't know what to tell you. Personally, I wouldn't drive an hour and a half just to sponsor a woman's meal. A woman I don't even have a guarantee of something substantial with.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "