ok so firstly i want your opinions on what you think is going through her mind, and secondly what you think i should do....
alright so, i broke up with my ex in june, i was bored. after we broke up we kept having sex for another two months and toward the end of that period i started to want her back, but then she turned around and told me that she didnt want us to be that close anymore because it was too hard on her emotionally.
i went completely afc and asked for her back and to that she told me no. now i have spent the last month keeeping myself busy and avoiding being too needy. she has also been busy but we keep in contact. we have been hanging out once a week but strictly as friends. she tells me things like "we shouldnt cuddle because that is bad for our emotions" and "one day we will be together again and we will get married". some days she is hot and some days she is cold. and we generally chat via txt every second day.
when we hang out she is still very physically flirty. and i can see she is still emotionally attatched because she has teared up a few times and i often get messages just to say goodnight or whatever. over the weekend i went out to the city with my friends and she txtd me constantly through the night (she was having a bad night and she knew i was having a good time). when i woke up i had more txts from her. just general chit chat.

i dont know how i feel. i cant tell how she feels. some days it hurts so much. other days i dont really care.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

question is do you want to be with her? i ve been sleeping with an ex recently bearing in mind i didnt see her for 3 years (she just broke up with a bf) then within a month of me seeing her for the first time we were having sex. however we both want different things and being honest i dont want to get back with her and she says that she doesnt want to get back with me. she even talks about other guys to me but it doesnt bother me, im into other girls as well so its purely physical

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

im pretty sure i dont want to be with her, altho sometimes i need convincing.
its like i know logically if i were with her it wouldnt work, but emotionally i just cant let go.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

the reason you cant emotionally let go is because really your still in a relationship with her. its not as if you broke up for ages then just became fbuddies you went from being in a relationship to still sleeping together so you may logically think that it wont work but emotionally your hoping it still could. youve got several options: get back together, stop sleeping together, or try a relationship with someone to find out if its right for you. think of it like this if you try the 3rd option you will find out if you want to be with her or somebody else

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

i think realistically the third option is probably the best...
i can tell she isnt going to go anywhere, like i will be able to maintain the friendship so if i go off with someone else and it isnt right i still dont think i am going to lose her completely. its a good idea for me to try too. im focusing so much on the one girl SPAM that i am scared to move on because thus far no other girl has even compared to her (i should probably mention i lost my virginity to her).
either way. i feel like if i really want her back i could have her. i should just make sure its the right decision before i jump into it.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

it may be easier for you to cut her out of your life, to be honest i shouldnt be sleeping with my ex its a really bad idea, i dont love her and to be honest i dont really like her all that much but it was there so i took it. i know that sounds harsh and callous but its true

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it