Ok so let me just start off with some basics. I'm 19 and I'm a full time college student. I'm pretty decent looking and I'm not weird, or lack friends or anything like that necessarily. The reason I came here was because (I'm sure like many others), I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong with women exactly or how to fix it.

My problem, more specifically, isn't necessarily starting a conversation with girls or keeping them up (at least not all the time), but rather coming on to them. I feel like I'm bad at turning any encounter into something sexual. I'll talk to a chick and we'll both be enjoying it, but I can't really figure out how to move it beyond that without feeling awkward about it or making things weird. This is the case whether I can't tell what she thinks, or even if I think for sure she's attracted to me. I just don't know how to smoothly make the transition to something sexual like that. This is whether its someone at school, work, at a party, or even over text messages.

I have plenty of friends, some of which I consider to even be a good degree dumber than I am, that in relationships or have friends with benefits. I'm personally looking more for a FWB, but if I find the right person obviously I wouldn't mind dating them. Once I know I'm good, I can handle it from there. My first serious relationship happened because she came on to me, and once we became an item, being a good boyfriend was the easy part. So, any suggestions on what I'm doing wrong or what I should try? I can clarify on anything more if I need to.

Destew what you have is not really a problem it's something that guys naturally have. Some have this more than others but every guy on the planet I met at one point had this problem. The problem is you don't know when you should begin to escalate which make sense. And even when you feel it is the right moment you are afraid of the outcome after all you most probably invested into this girl some or a lot of your time so you don't want to screw it up in one moment. The only way you will get over this problem is with experience. I remember how at one point I used to feel nervous when touchings girl. But eventually after few trails and errors I can touch them with confidence in places I dared not touch them before and them feeling comfortable about it. You have to man up and go for it. Escalate when you feel the time is right. At first you might feel awkward but as you go on things will change. You also have to change your mindset you have to understand that girls love being touched. When I was meeting my ex before she became my girlfriend I did not touch her much and didn't hug her. Later on when she became my girlfriend she asked my why I didn't hug her touch her before. Girls love it but will not demand it because it would look weird and needy. Also the comfort of the girl being touched depends on your comfort. If you touch a girl and be like "OH WOW" attitude like it's new to you she'll freak out. However if you touch her and be like "AHH NOTHING SPECIAL" attitude besides not getting freaked out she will wonder how come you didn't have "OH WOW" reaction like most guys do and it will get her attracted to you. It will show her that touching girls is nothing special to you because you do it often. I sometimes touch girls boobs within 5 minutes of meeting them and they don't feel uncomfortable because when I do so I have an expression on my face like " OH NOT SO BAD" I don't even acknowledge that I did something unusual and as a result she doesn't also. Your reaction=her reaction. If you have any more question I would be glad to help.

-Joe-

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"

Wow, thanks for the thought-out response! That's some good advice, and reading around here more, I can see that kino is obviously the way to go. My main other questions would revolve around texting/Facebook interaction. What's a good way to escalate things through that? I feel like I'd have a hard time turning the conversation into something else without seeming forced, similar to my real life interactions. Thanks again.

Texting and facebook is all bout being the fun and sociable guy who's not serious. When a girl talks to you face to face she has to do something against her will. For example if a stranger approaches her face to face and tells her he wants to meet her and get to know her she has to respond, she can't just walk away. However, by texting she doesn't feel any pressure to respond because your not in front of her. So in order to escalate by texting you have to make her interested in texting usually funny texts or role playing texts can help. You also have to make your life fun so when you text her and she doesn't you don't really give a fuck because your having fun already or you can text other girls. And your right at first it will feel like your being forced but eventually with practice it will become second nature. I personally would prefer to call. Also if she doesn't respond to texts many guys think either she is not interested or they think they messed up with something. Well, many times that is true but many times it isn't because she might be busy she might be working her phone might not work. Feel free to ask anything else.

-Joe-

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"