I have only recently tried to get into the dating scene after a failed marriage and playing Mr Dad for many years. I suppose due to lack of confidence along with lack of free time I have only tried online dating and have met a lot of women.

The first date often goes extremely well lasting some 2 hours. More often than not the woman has asked for a second date. Again, the second date goes well and here lays the problem. I cannot bring myself to get to the sexual attraction stage. Thankfully, on 2 occasions the women literally pounced on me which led to sex. Had this been left to me to initiate, sex would not have happened. So the problem is that 'I' turn the women into friends after the second date. Some of them have started to say that I am too fussy in what I am looking for. A date over the weekend was the prompting I needed to seek help from this forum. Another second date which went extremely well. Walked her to the car and kisses goodbye on the cheeks. I sensed that she expected more. She later text me typing she enjoyed the night and if I only wanted to remain friends with her than that is ok.

I am of mature age and have been out of this dating scene for 25 plus years but how do I turn things around? I have another date with another girl tomorrow and feel that I will end up again with another friend.

Backpacker what you have is not really a problem it's something that guys naturally have. Some have this more than others but every guy on the planet I met at one point had this problem. The problem is you don't know when you should begin to escalate which make sense. And even when you feel it is the right moment you are afraid of the outcome after all you most probably invested into this girl some or a lot of your time so you don't want to screw it up in one moment. The only way you will get over this problem is with experience. I remember how at one point I used to feel nervous when touching a girl. But eventually after few trails and errors I was able to touch them with confidence in places I dared not touch them before and them feeling comfortable about it. We all want to play the safe game but safe game won't lead to success. You have to man up and go for it. Escalate when you feel the time is right. At first you might feel awkward but as you go on things will change. You also have to change your mindset you have to understand that girls love being touched. When I was meeting my ex before she became my girlfriend I did not touch her much and didn't hug her. Later on when she became my girlfriend she asked my why I didn't hug her touch her before. Girls love it but will not demand it because it would look weird and needy. Also the comfort of the girl being touched depends on your comfort. If you touch a girl and be like "OH WOW" attitude like it's new to you she'll freak out. However if you touch her and be like "AHH NOTHING SPECIAL" attitude besides not getting freaked out she will wonder how come you didn't have "OH WOW" reaction like most guys do and it will get her attracted to you. It will show her that touching girls is nothing special to you because you do it often. I sometimes touch girls boobs within 5 minutes of meeting them and they don't feel uncomfortable because when I do so I have an expression on my face like " OH NOT SO BAD" I don't even acknowledge that I did something unusual and as a result she doesn't also. Your reaction=her reaction. If you have any more question I would be glad to help.

-Joe-

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"Experience is the teacher of all things"

Joe thank you so much for that and perfect timing considering I have a date tomorrow. I'll try to apply what you suggested, well not the grab a boob thing, and see how I go. I know this girl is also keen but this is a third date so time for me to grow some balls.

Thanks once again.