Quote:
It was a damn good day...I wasn't motivated to approach, because the crawling stage kicked my balls. All I saw was rejection and I spent way too much time looking up stuff online...oh well. Once again, I just imagined my life of being good with girls which always motivates me to go out and work on this goal.
The first HB is probably the most out of my league from all the 21 girls I approached so far. Not because she's hot, she's good-looking, but she's taller than me (I'm 6'1", so go figure), richer than me/has a rich husband and she's like twice my age, mid 30s. Fuck it!
Me: Hey, can you please stop wlking for a sec?
Her: Why?
She rears her head and I lose all interest. She comes across rude, bitchy and just arrogant. I deliver a half-assed opener but she knows what's up. She just complains about what a loser I am etc.
Me: Hey, being approached by a guy is actually a compliment. Other girls would die for this moment, especially with me Wink
Her: bla
Well, next, I guess.
I see this smoking hot girl, dressed up in a brown skirt and a black shirt. She's standing in front of a coffee shop and guys are just gazing. This is the most social pressure I've ever had before an approach. She looks like she's waiting for some one.
Me: Hey, who are you waiting for? (I can just feel the guys staring me down from behind)
She takes a while with an answer, so I interrupt.
Me: Stop lying...you know you're waiting for me! Wink
Her: (laugh) No, sorry.
Me: SO you look like you go to college (she kinda did)
Her: Oh, I don't speak German very well.
Me: Haha I wouldn't have guessed you actually sound pretty good for a foreigner Smile So where are you from and what brings you here.
She's from Ukraine and works as an intern for some sort of soulless company in my city. It's basically only two semesters abroad and she'll be back in two weeks.
Me: Wow, so I've never been to your country before. But I'd love to see Kyiv one day. Plus I heard there's some nice beaches too. What's it called, the Red or the Black Sea?
Her: It's the Black Sea and you should go, it's nice! Here goes my mom, I gotta go, bye!
Fuck lol her mum just appeared out of nowhere and they went off for some mother-daughter-bonding. No number, but a nice convo in front of a crowd with a hot girl. What's there to be mad about?
What helped me most out of all that I read: if you wanna work good daygame you gotta talk. A LOT. What I did different with this girl was I talked and talked. Questions are okay, but only if you keep running your mouth beforehand. It just helps get the girl comfortable. That was my big lesson for today. The reason I was creepy in my earlier sets wasn't the opener or appearance...I just didn't talk. I went straight to full on interview mode and asked her stuff without making her comfortable. I just said everything I could muster about the Ukraine and she seemed to enjoy herself. It doesn't take all these weird techniques. It's all about comfort and I had it today because I was super calm, even in front of an audience.
Guys, I know this is only Approach 23. But I think I'm getting the hang of this!
Hey mate.
I still think you are doing a great job. I admire the way you just go out and do it. It reminds me of what i did
.
I dont have much to say about hte convo's. THe first one, yeah, if you lose all interest because of the way she acts, eject asap
. Been there as well. Now i just bluntly spit out the sudden drop of interest.
The second conversation: Its a nice conversation. We arent there with you, but if you say she enjoyed the conversation, then you are doing a great job! You felt confidence, you were calm even before an audience, that is really something. Good job
.
I do have some remarks in general. You say you dont need techniques, just talk and create comfort. Well, you might say that the technique and the result of the technique are one and the same.
A good conversation, going deep, making the other person at ease and really connect, that takes skill. Techniques used could be calibrating the other person, deliberately showing empathy, eliciting feelings, etc.
Another remark on the talking. Be careful with "running your mouth". The key to a connection and comfort is 'interaction'. You cant interact if you are doing a monologue
. Yes, you do need to talk a lot, as you need to fill that awkward space or really and openly expect the other person to do so. So as a tip in general: talking is good but dont turn the interaction into a monologue.
One other remark. Although i like the approaches, i am still getting a bit frustrated with the fact that the conversations arent going anywhere. I know you are a bit hesitating with the direct part, but i think you are going extreme indirect. Let me put it differently: Safe conversation means a conversation that is totally socially excepted. Like: darn, the weather is nasty, or what time is it? Unsafe would be to go to a damsel and say: hey you look hot and and i want to fuck you.
Your conversations are too safe. You balance on extremely safe and conversation making. girls wonder what your intentions are, but you always take safe subjects. You are talking around the bush, trying to keep them into a conversation. Most people are doing stuff at the moment you interrupt them, their head is preoccupied with stuff. THey need to catch a bus, they need to go to their grannies, they need to do groceries and they cant forget about the apples they need bring along... etc etc. But with conversation, people need to focus on 2 things, divide their attention on 2 things. Always keeping an eye open for that mother to show up, for that clock going to 2 pm...etc etc.
In order to counter that, you need to realize that people dont have enough time for a long conversation (especially if you stop them from walking). You are already presupposing things (you look like you go to college), so presuppose that people dont have the time to talk with you. This gives you an excellent excuse for a hookup or a date, on which you have plenty of time to talk.
And going with my last statement, i think you miss a lot of opportunities by letting to girl/woman walk away.
she says: i need to go now, my mother is there, you can say: Oh wait, before you go, here is my phone number. You seem like a fun/interesting/sexy/horny person, i would like to see you again. Give me a text or a call if you are up for it. *hand her the number, say bye, turn around and you walk away*.
You might think: omg, and this or that guru says: never give your number, blablabla, but what if she does text your or call you? I would say that it is an IOI you cannot misunderstand. I stopped asking for numbers (because i got too many actually) and started giving my number instead. It was much easier and less expensive for me. You arent as far as i was when i first starting to give my number ( i was already attempting PU for 4 months), BUT.... i do think you miss a lot of opportunities. When you give your number, be firm and confident, like you know she might not even care to call you, but that is ok as you dont really need her ( and tbh, you dont need her
.
So to mix up the last points:
In your approaches, take into account that they might not have time for a full length fun conversation. So i would suggest: approach, open and you close as well, instead of talking until the girls leave or have to go. I ll give some examples this evening. also, grab your nuts and grab some of the opportunities; Like the Ukrainian girl. If she liked the convo, i would have given he rmy number and told her something: give me a text if you want to do something together. I think you are interesting and it could be great fun!
Again, this is what i would do
. Good luck!
CHAT
No need for persistence...