i m in high school, this chick is in 2 of my art classes. She always asks me for suggestions on her drawings. And sometimes she asks me to draw for her... I'm not the best in the class and i think her skills are better than me... She always want to start a conversation with me, asking me questions like "Do you need help, You know what you are doing?, etc". One time, i ask her if i can see her sketch book, but she forgot to bring it. So the next day, first thing i see her she want me to see her sketch book.(i almost forgot about it) I only know her for about 3 weeks, we talk like normal friends and stuff. I wonder if she likes me... Plus, homecoming is on Oct. 25 should i ask her to prom?or a date? Confused Confused

Either she likes you or she is just interested in being good friends, there's not a whole lot that seperates the two. The way to find out, is by being playful with her, initiate some touching and see what she does. If you playfully punch her, or nudge her and she smiles and does the same to you, then that's a good sign. Check out other IOIs (Indicators of Interest) here on the forum for a list of things to keep an eye out for, but primarily the thing that seperates friends from more is touch, so you need to be initiating touch and see how she responds and watch whether she initiates it back.

If you get a bunch of those good signals, then I'd start by seeing whether she wants to get together outside of class and what the vibe is there, rather than jumping straight to asking her out to prom. Don't make it a typical date, just set something up so that you guys will hang out together. Find out what she's interested in and then tell her you're planning on doing something that you think she'd be interested in doing and that she should come along. If the vibe is more than just friends, then ask her to prom and see what she says, just don't say, "be my date" and that way if she tells you she doesn't think of you that way, then you tell her you just meant as friends and play it cool. Sometimes when she tries to say that she isn't interested in you and you say you aren't interested in her, she ends up wondering why and as long as you keep flirting, you end up having her want you anyways.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Ive got one... Alright theres this girl that is in my network of friends. Now shes pretty good looking but im not concerned if this turns into something or not. My issue is I can't get her into a conversation with me. I literally run out of things to say. It's like talking to myself in the mirror its still pretty impressive but I am not getting anything out of it. I can usually indirectly steer someone to find out what there intrests are but I dont have a steering wheel. It would be one thing if she was being cold but its the opposite I get a warm feeling. Infact any time I see her she make it a point to say hi to me when she doesnt for other people. Its good to be cocky but I can only make jokes and talk about myself for about four minutes max. So I thought to myself OK indirect isent working lets try being direct.

For Example:
Me - "So tell me something crazy thats happened to you?"
Her - "Nothing really..."
(My thought process... ARE YOU kidding me? WTF do you mean nothing interesting has happened to you in your whole life?)
Me - Theres got to be something your not holding out on me are you?"
*Pause*
Me - Well man the other night..."
Granted our friends left its just the two of us and im not going to sit there in silence twiddling my thumbs until they get back.

So you see my problem? Granted its not easy finding things in common but this girl... whoooo something else... If I can break this barrier with her I think ill be able to effectively talk to any girl in a socialable situation anywhere.

Hi,
i feel like constantly having to choose different ideas for peacocking could be a future pain in the ass. I was thinking about ideas for permanent peacocking. i was going to get colored contacts( i already wear regular ones) and maybe get some cool highlights for my hair.

Tell me what you think of my ideas and im open to suggestions.

I live in Langley so if you ever wanna go sarging with a 16 y/o and show me the ropes thatd be cool too byee

Hey Rye was hoping to get your opinion on this...
I met this HB7 at a party a couple weeks ago, and she seemed really interested, but I never number closed. I've been talking to her on facebook. Anyways, I got incredibly hammered last night, and decided to send her this message: "hey are you single? cause ive got this friend who is just your type...he's smart, funny, and incredibly good looking. whats your cell so I can have him call you"...she responded with her number and asking who this friend was, and told me to have him text her. What would you do next? I most likely will never see her out somewhere at a party or something

-Joe

I know this girl in my class, sent me a lot of IOI but sometimes I showed her a little interest and sometimes I ignored her(Im not ready for her, anyways, she have a boyfriend), she did try to frame me several times, but i handled it by laughing at her and then ignore her. Her boyfriend is a complete AFC and now I do find her quite interesting, but she is not sending me IOI's anymore. So how do I heat things back up? I have to do a warm approach and she is rarely alone..

Sorry I took so long to answer bud, I've been really busy and I'm not gonna lie, this is a difficult question to answer. I've thought about answering it a few ways and never really come up with anything that I could decisively say would make things better till now.

I've just announced a webinar that I'm doing soon. I'll be covering all sorts of things to do with effective conversation skills; from opening, to closing and everything in between. Multi-threading is gonna be a big focus, which is what it sounds like you need to work on. Effectively asking questions and involving the girl in the conversation is another huge focus. I think you'd really get a lot out of it, so you should check it out. Here's the thread: webinar-conversation-skills-by-rye-lee-vt29823.html

If you don't think learning how to converse better is gonna help, then I'd say you just stop worrying about this girl, because she may just be really boring, which is never any fun.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Sounds like you're thinking of dressing up in things that will shock people, rather than just catch their eye. If that's the kind of person you are and it's congruent with your personality, then that's cool, do it! If it's not and you're typically a really quiet reserved person, then that's gonna go badly for you, because it's not gonna fit your personality.

Try just picking up some things that stand out and will seperate you from the crowd, but that won't result in people thinking you're a freak or a weirdo or any of those negative stereotypes. I personally would have gotten some crazy coloured contacts several years ago, cept I have to either wear glasses which reduce the effect, or perscription contacts, which you can't do with cosmetic ones. Instead I just dress sharply so that I stand out in a crowd of people wearing tshirts and jeans.

If you like your hair and can do something cool with it, then totally get some colouring that will stand out and put it in a cool style. Get some clothes that stand out, but that work with your personality. Perhaps bright tshirts are your thing, or graphics, or maybe you're like me and are into dress shirts. A few rings can be eye catching if done right, just don't over do it.

The main thing is to wear stuff that you wouldn't typically, but that is still congruent with your personality. You don't want to come off like a poser, or all your effort goes to waste.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Sorry I took so long to answer this man, I've just been really busy and accidentally ignored this thread. Hopefully this info isn't too late for you to use and you haven't done anything to make this advice invalid.

I would call her and say, "Hey, how's it going? It's the 'smart, funny and incredibly good looking guy', *chuckle*" You're the friend, she probably even knows that already and wants you to call her. So you just play it up and pretend you are the friend so that you guys are role playing, all the while doing it in a really exagerated way, so that you both know that it's a joke. It'll be a ton of fun and you can both say all sorts of stuff you wouldn't if it were "you" talking.

Talk about how sexy you were told she is and mention some of the attributes that make her sexy, like slender thighs, long silken hair and eyes that you could sink into, or whatever she really has. Joke about what a catch you are and throw in some exaggerated things about how you've got a Lambourgini, you enjoy fine dining and have an expensive art collection if you're playing on the "I'm a bit of a douchebag but every woman wants me aspect". If you're going for the actual really awesome guy aspect, then say some crazy stuff about how you like to hanglide, skydive and go free-climbing up the side of waterfalls in your spare time. Do the same with her, paint this picture of the two of you being these ridiculously sexy and amazing people and how great you'll be together. Tell her about how you'll end up dining over a candlelit dinner in the park, then go for a moonlit walk on the beach or whatever. Give her this crazy picture of how sexy and romantic things between you will be.

This will show her how creative and passionate you are, but at the same time you're just being fun and playful. You can invent anything at all because there's no bounds to your imagination and you can lead her through a fantasy world that will delight her. You can start to get into the romance aspect a bit and what will happen on your walk, or after you head back to your *insert romantic location*. You guys can totally get into the passion aspect of things without any fear of reproach, because it isn't really you two, it's fictional characters. This paints a picture that will drive her wild and when you do see her, it'll make it easy to move things towards that direction.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Sounds like you hurt her feelings. You don't want to laugh AT her, just with her, or tease her, but let her know that it's just in jest. You can't tease a girl and then walk away or ignore her typically, you need to affirm that it was a tease after, or her feelings get hurt. It's just like when a girl says something and if she said something nice after, you'd know nothing was meant by it, but because she doesn't, your feelings are hurt.

The boyfriend isn't an obstacle. If you are just the best you can be and run the best game you can on her, then it's up to her who she picks. Having a bf doesn't take her off the market. If you do everything well, then she'll totally go for you, if not then she won't.

Just find out what it is that her relationship is lacking (don't ask directly). Most relationships are missing something and all you have to do is find that thing and fulfill that need that the girl isn't having met. If you do that properly, as well as doing everything else that an attractive person does and hitting all her attraction switches, then she'll ditch the bf for you.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I am going to lay it out for you straight and honest. I am a senior in high school and I have NEVER had a girl friend before, I have never had any form of sexual encounter before, I have never had a legitimate kiss before, and I either have my standards set to high or I just couldn't really find any girl in my school who I honestly like. I do have one girl who I am seriously considering to try and ask out. Now I have a few problems in my situation. First, I am an introvert and if I was any more of an introvert with just random people I swear i'd be a black hole. My second problem is I have no classes with this girl. I had one last year with her but not anymore this year (I do see her and I can find her if I need to.) My third problem is she's always with her friends. I just can't get myself to even consider making a move since everytime I see her she has four or five friends right next to her. My last problem is I can't tell if she likes me enough to want to go out with me. She's really nice to me and she always says hey to me really enthusiastically, but she does that to pretty much everyone she even remotely likes.

I will say this to my credit (and I'm not trying to make myself look good, I am usually really modest to the point of almost being emo about myself) I am a good guy, my friends are always telling me I could go after basically any non-bitch girl and have a chance, but all my friends are polar opposites in the attitude department from me so they are all extroverts and don't feel like shitting themselves in the prescence of a girl they wanna ask out. I also can't use any of them as a wing man. They all tell me I can do it, but never offer any help, advice and they're always busy so I'm on my own.
Any ideas? I'd really appreciate it.

Hey Rye Lee, I need some help.

There is this HB7 who i really like. We finally met up at the bar this past Saturday. We have always been flirting and I want to get with her but she has a boyfriend [doesn't go to our college]. At the bar, we were dancing together (even though she hates to dance). I think its a plus that i got her to come up on a dance floor with me. and she was poking my tits, so then i started pokin her tits and she didn't seem to care much, looked like she sort of enjoyed it. And when she left the bar, she kissed me on the cheek, and wanted to hang out afterwards. So i called her but she was at a party... then we texted for a while, this is how it went.(oh yeah i was reall sweaty at the bar so i felt strange making a move, i was dancing crazyyyyy all night haha)


Me: whats you room number? can you buzz me up?

HB7: ha ha very funny

me: Im walkin people back to bromley (by her place) so Ill come by
afterwards

HB7: you cant. Boy toy will be mad

me: who gives a fuck? and who is that?

HB7: I have a boyfriend. I told you that.

me: so your boyfriend doesn't allow you to hang out with guys? doesn't sound like much fun

HB7: at four in the morning? no, other times he doesn't care

me: Lame see ya

HB7:Call me tomorrow!


Any advice? Thanks Rye Lee

hey there, i was wondering what are good little games to help initiate kino?

i.e. palm reading


im totally lost on kino and think this is a good way to start.


also wondering:
- Where should i look to find out how to progress a relationship w/ someone that i'm decent friends w/?

Okay Rye, first thank you for the last response. I poured my soul into that post and layed it all out there because I believe in the Community that many of my problems and issues can be solved through it (The Game did that perfectly because it showed how Neil/Style matured and became a better person through PU). Also, if this question is too advanced, for this thread just tell me and I will go to the Chief et al.

Just a moment ago I went down to the Math lab in our Library, I saw this HB7 who I had gamed last night and afterward regretted that I did not #-close. Tonight, she asked if I would be coming back to the lab. I said something like "Well maybe, but why else should I come down here" That is bullshit, I don't know what I said, but I tried to do some false disqualifier/cf type line and I feel that it may have only been a partial hit at best. I went back down there and I said a false disqualifier/possible dhv story about why I could not stay, I then bridged that into "I would really like to talk w/ sometime, about something other than Math." (even that sounds smoother than whatever I said). She replied "Well I will be here tomorrow night." Dude, what the fuck does that mean? I know I fumbled w/ #-close but it seemed like she is in to me beyond the Math lab. Last night, I did enough cf and some negging for her to be into me but I would like to carry it further.

_________________
Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

I'll get to the other posts as soon as I have a chance, but this is time sensitive, so I'll answer it now.

"Well I will be here tomorrow night." Is her way of giving you that chance to talk further. You didn't say anything about asking for her number or setting up anything outside of class, so she took the initiative to tell you when you could see her. She's not gonna just come right out and throw herself at you, but now by going there, you have the opportunity to keep things moving forward and then get her number as well as talk about doing something together outside of a classroom.

Think about something you could tell her to come do with you right then and try to get her to be spontaneous and go on an adventure. If that isn't something you can do, then talk about something that you guys can do together sometime soon, using future tensing. Get her number and set it up to call her and arrange to do what you discussed.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye