Update November 5th, 2:25PM EST



She just called me for the first time since the break up lol

Figures, as soon as I read Fuze's post about the phone calls......she calls me.


Well, Fuze, I ignored the first call.......I can only assume, knowing her, that she will try multiple times...So, what do you suggest for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th calls?

Not really, those texts are far from bragging. Your having coffee with a "friend" and your at a crazy party, I don't see obvious bragging or unrealistic scenarios in either of those texts. Just ignoring her is better then kissing her ass but its a pretty non-proactive.

Anyway you can text her something more subtle if you like but you need to keep the convo open to some degree as a total prolonged freeze out will eventuate in her moving on.

Seems like your doing fine as it is. Hopefully she will ask you to meet up for some tea soon, as you don't drink coffee. Main thing is to keep the dominant frame in this interaction.

She called me...I ignored....then 10 minutes later she called again... I figured this would keep on going on until I answer the phone....So I answered the phone and chatted for 2 minutes.


The convo went pretty much like this:

Me: Hello?
Her: Hi, whats up?
Me: nothin really, whats goin on?
Her: Nothing, just got home.
Me: From where?
Her: *State* went there for my birthday to go to *tourist attraction*
Me: thats what's up..I love that place, havnt been since I was a kid, but thats cool
Her: Yeah...so did you find a job yet?
Me: Maybe..
Her: haha what does that mean?
Me: Well..it means maybe
Her: Ok hah
Me: I'll know sometime next week, I got 2 places lined up that are doing interviews next week
Her: Well that's good I guess..
Me: Well yeah, hope something works out
Her: Well what are you doing now?
Me: I'm about to cook some food, why? what are you doing?
Her: Nothing....oh yeah, is there any mail for me?
Me: Nope...no mail has arrived for you
Her: Aww damnit, okay
Me: Well I'm guna get off here and cook food
Her: okay, I'll talk to you whenever since you dont text me back anymore
Me: Yeah..
Her: Yeah....
Me: Well I'll talk to you sometime
Her: Okay, bye..
Me: Bye bye





Then about 5 minutes after we hang up....she texts me saying "I don't understand you."

sounds like your doing well, but shes still holding on to the frame which needs to get flipped.

I liked your response to her job questions.

good response to the I dot understand you text

"ya i'm totally crazy! " - acknowledging but demurring her comment as shes trying to get you to explain yourself

i'm too lazy to reread this thread,

but tell me one more time,

what is your goal with this girl? (in one or two sentences, if possible)

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I wasn't planning on saying anything...


She just texted me again tho..


Her: Well I have something to tell you, but you obviously plan on never talking to me again, so maybe when we're dead I can tell you




It reminds me of the other night....she claimed she had something to tell me...but she "forgot" and asked if there was any mail....I don't know if she really has something to tell me, or shes just frustrated..

This is a shit test.. she is trying to gauge you intrest by seeing if you will take the bait.. She's still holding the power bro. She has the fishing rod and sees you as the fish. Text her back on that one " ok, you can text it to me".. when she writes back text her "i'll talk to you about it later" wether she tells you or not.. My Ex would do this to me a lot and once i was like " so what did you wanna tell me" she would say " oh i forgot" Its just a method of her getting you to invest time and thought into her, and potientally getting you to call her up and ask what it is

Also ignore her next call.. pick up the one after and keep you convo vauge.. you did well, the only mistake you made is you asked her too many questions. Leave the questions up to her and always end the convo first. Don't ask her questions, that only shows you level of interest.

She's near the breaking point, when the times comes ill let you know and thats when you push her over the edge. She'll go near it but she wont go over with a nudge


You're doing well my friend, she's behaving just as i predicted.. it only makes since to further take my advice lol

Note* she still is interested in the fact that you have a job or not.. its none of her business at this point. Shes a bit materialistic. Are you sure this is someone you wanna be with?

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Well I hope its a shit test and nothing actually serious..

I understand what you're saying..about the job part....but I can also understand that I should be able to pay my own way..Its hard finding work in this area, this time of year. But I am trying

But I texted her back..


Me: I was cooking food and eating...you can tell me



She has yet to answer....But she might be at work now, actually..so we'll see

scratch that..she answered lol


Me: I was cooking food and eating...you can tell me
Her: You don't care




So...yeah, lol...I'm not trying to start an argument over something stupid, and I don't want to be like "oh but i do care, etc." So I guess I'll just not say anything

you see.. thats manipulation at its finest... don't reply with anything.

If it was serious she would of just told you.

ignore her, she's playing games

don't psych yourself out with skepticism.

Anything important will come out on its own. Shes playing mind games with you.

honestly, shes a waste of your time but ill help you find that out on your own

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I get what you're saying...and I appreciate you, and everyone else replying..I think most of the time, I know what I should say/do....but at the same time, I'm not as experienced as some of the guys here...so its helping me learn alot..as I'm sure its also helping others who have joined this forum who are going thru the same type of stuff.

She just sent me a text out of nowhere saying "so we're not talking ever"


lol i dont know if thats a statement, or a question


Im thinking of how to respond.... or if I should ignore..

She did get some mail today...

So I was thinking about saying "if thats the case, come get your mail and your bike"...but I dont know if thats wise.......it seems shes just trying to get a rise out of me because i've not been giving her attention

Fuze was right about the manipulation 100% shes just testing you.
When a woman says "we arnt talking ever" shes saying "i wanna talk to you but if your not gunna im going to make it seem like your the bad guy"
Don't respond, she'll probly txt you again apologizing or something and you'll win that battle, and if she doesnt your problem is solved because she'll stop txting anyways. She fishing for you to chase her dont give in

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To game at your best you have to be willing to do your worst.

well...actually, she did text me back...she said

"K byee"


lol...so..we'll see how that goes..


Sometimes I feel like she just left to wait until I get my shit together, as in finding a job......Cuz I know she hasnt been seeing any other guys, even though she has options....then something like this comes up, and it makes me think now she's gone forever..I dont know. I still have not said anything back tho

annnnd I still have not replied to her...and just got a long text from her...


Her: I really dont understand why your doing this. Like we should be mature and civil. I unblocked your on facebook. I just dont understand. I know i said mean things to you, but you have done the exact same thing to me and have made assumptions about my life. i just idk







A few years ago before we officially dated, i had said some things and made assumptions (which ended up being true! LOL)..and we quit hanging out..and talking...then started talking again and she'd complain about dudes...so i told her how it was.. I wasnt the "friend" for that..I wasnt a friend at all. I dont want to be friends..then about a year and half later we start hanging out and end up dating for a lil over a year... She still holds that close to heart....even though a few years later I have grown tremendously, emotionally..and in my opinion, have handled the break up very,very well..and am proud of myself at how far I've come in these few years.


But now I really dont know what I'm supposed to say lol Should I say anything to that text?

Don't reply to her immaturity bro... Shes not going anywhere.

And a real women is not gonna leave your side no matter what.. In fact, a real woman would spend all night looking through yellow pages, up on the computer, trying to help you find a better job even if you have one.

I have women in my life like this..

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