PUA: Haha the only way it can get better than that baby is if I had a bow.

Shit test: I need a guy who can protect me, what can you do to keep me safe?

You didn't see my loin cloth? I'm the Beast Master; I tame wild things.

Shit Test:

Do you always talk this much?

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are you always so insensitive?

Shit Test:

(assuming you used an opinion cold opener)
Why did you choose to ask ME this question?

I thought you were someone who look intelligent, someone that i might like to get to know better.

shit test: you're late, i dont like guys wasting my time.

I am no expert, but I don't think asking if she is always so insensitive is going to get you anywhere. That not only is negative, but that is making it personal.

I would try something more like:
It's good to be king (too cocky???)
or
Ah, do you always listen so well?


Shit test: Why did you choose to ask ME this question?
answer: because the all the other women didn't answer, they just touched.

New Shit test:
Well Mr. Popular, where are all those friends you were talking about?

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oh, I'm sorry didn't know I was being critiqued just yet. (maybe too sarcastic?)

or

I got caught up shampooing in the shower. Did it for you though. I wanted to smell so fresh an so clean clean.

Shit test
Your hair is weird; looks like you spend more time on it than me.

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and your proud of that?

shit test:
she tells a story of some guy hitting on her(obviously about you)

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You know what your problem is?You're putting the pussy on a pedistal.

and once, there was this one time...that this girl; she practically called me over to her with her eyes, and out of nowhere just started hitting on me...she eventually became captivated by the superb entertainment that was being provided.

shit test:
so do you always wear rings from Spencer's Gifts?

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are you asking her if she is proud of that? how does that fit....(just asking)

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Are you always this obnoxious?

Shit test:

Down boy, calm down now.

fail. you can't call her obnoxious. seriously...she is going to say "pssh asshole" and walk away.

And i'd like to point out (as always) I have not tried this stuff; i am not an expert....but I grew up with three girls. The majority of my friends have been girls.

Calling someone obnoxious is just an insult. The point of a shit test is not to insult the person. I would even say in most cases you don't need to Neg them either. What you should do is think up something to say that will either DHV yourself, be funny, or something that can segway into a story or conversation.

Try
Yea, I just have this thing for places that sell fuzzy pink handcuffs. While I was there shopping for some, I ended up seeing this "to die for" ring. here, you should try it on...feel the genuine quality.

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I think you could pull it off if you said it while smiling and in a joking tone. It just requires a very specific delivery. But I like your response a lot better, it shows you don't care what she thinks and are cool and calm. Thanks for the advice.

Shit test:

down boy, calm down. is that a shit test?

answer:
"ahhhhrufff rufffff" No, but seriously....someone has to bring some pep to this *insert location* (club); all there seems to be these days is music that's just wayyyy to loud.

shit test:
My boyfriend in highschool used to have the same dragon tshirt (for the purpose of this convo...but you better fucking not be....you are wearing a kmart dragon print tee).

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new shit test:
you're obnoxious (just got this one ten minutes ago)

I said :

no one forced you to converse with me; guess there is some joy in my obnoxiousness.


reply:
you're right. no one forced me. ********************silence.

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PUA: Yeah, I wrestled him for it. To be honest it's a little small and it took forever to get his smell out of it.

Shit test: Are you always this cocky?