Kasabi, your thoughts.. no matter how 'serious' you get with a particular girl, lets say she carries on flirting with the ex and is possibly even taking his calls. Are you saying that you would NEVER react to it and simply see it as YOUR fault as youre not doing your job properly? Or do you set boundaries by voicing the fact that you dont accept that kind of behavior (without coming across as controlling), this will convey you are not some push over that lets her get away with what ever the fuck she wants. It just seems there is a fine line between laying down the law, or taking all the blame for her actions and simply working on being a better partner for her. (im sure there are cases where you are a sterling bfriend and the girl will STILL seek attention on the side for kicks.

Where does one draw the line!

What would you say to a girl who voices the fact that your behavior is unacceptable to her and that you shouldn't act like a jealous buffoon every time she'd like to chat with her ex or potential future boyfriend(s)?

You know what I'd tell her? I'd tell her to dump your sorry ass and get herself a boyfriend who won't throw a hissy fit over her fun, flirtatious personality because shes' not going to change you.

Would YOU EVER 'artificially' change your personality/character because somebody voiced his/her dislike for it? . . . Of course you wouldn't. You cannot.

So what makes you think 'voicing' your shit is going to change her behavior? Sure, you can voice things that directly affect you. She likes to slap you in the head? Yup, tell her to stop. She likes to throw dirty tampons in your toilet? Tell her to stop. But what gives you the right to tell her who she can or she cannot communicate with? This is her basic human right.

If you'd like to date a girl who will not communicate with her ex's, then find a girl who doesn't communicate with her ex's. If you want to date a girl who loves to eat bloody steaks, find a girl who likes to eat bloody steaks. Don't find yourself vegetarian, then "voice your opinion" for how she should live her life. Respect life.

I would just liek to butt in here.

I think setting boundaries is a very dangerous game to play because what stops her from setting you boundaries?

I do agree though that her flirting with her ex and contacting continuously and going out regularly is a bit too much and is enough to make anyone feel not only insecure but suscpicious. I would be bothered and although I wouldnt say a thing I think my actions would reflect how I feel - which dooms a relationship to failure.

I think you should pose the question to the girl asking her "how would you like it if...i was chatting to my ex and hanging out flirting etc?" she may get the hint.

I wouldnt set boundaries though - never. Tell her that it bothers you a touch - the extent to which she reacts i.e. by controlling how much she talks to her ex will reflect how much she likes you and takes you seriously.

Hey dude...
I wouldnt bother saying anything to her about it, Infact I wouldnt talk about him at all. Treat it like your stealing his girlfriend. If there's still sparks flying between them you dont want to come actoss like the weaker needier guy. Show her that you're everthing he's not. eg: If all they used to do is sit at home and watch movies etc then you want to take her out, etc etc.
Look up Gamblers method for stealing girlfriends. He doesnt just sell it though. I came across it on a forum once. I think it may have been on fast seduction if not just google it.
Basicly you're a PUA. You can do more for her than he can. Why bother with being upset about it when you can just go and totaly outgame him and if not at least you gained some expierience.
Good luck.

_________________
Sticksies PUA Blog http://sticksiespuablog.com

Kasabi I hear what you say, sum that up into 'you cannot and will not change a woman's inherent behavior/personality, find a girl that behaves in a way that suites you'.

Even though I believe certain behavior CAN be changed with the right approach, but not her inherent personality, that is up to them to develop as they wish! (eg. eating steak or being a vegetarian, not much you can do there. Tell her to stop biting your dick when she's down on the job, well she'll stop pretty soon).

Setting boundaries was maybe the wrong term to use in my post, what i meant was when is the right time to SAY SOMETHING at all without pushing her away.
I agree that voicing to her that something bothers you is fine, she either stops that behavior or continues. Either way it will determine whether you stick a round or not (unless you are a complete spineless push over with the self worth and self respect of a flea on a dogs back)

I would do like I don't give a shit about that, but at the same time I wouldn't give her too much attention,only meet up with her when you want, not when she wants to meet up! If I was u , I would keep an other girl on the side just for you never know