humans both male and female of the species are very weird

Does my situation feel the classic OSLBD mold? This is a girl who I've repeatedly told to be blunt with me and say if we're just friends. But she won't do it; I told her to be blunt if she was trying to let me down easy, but she claims that she is being blunt. I assumed we were just friends before I told her about my feelings. I never had any hope to succeed. This is also a girl who got jealous and told me she was when I mentioned a girl my friend was going to hook me up with. She tells me that I am attractive. She told me I was one of two people she would date in my fraternity.

I told her not to say and do things that would make it hard for me to get over her less than a month ago. She's not dumb and knows what kind of effect kissing me would have. The reason this bothers me so much is she continually contradicts herself. If she wanted to just be friends she is making exactly the wrong choices.

sounds like a classic case of it all right---she doesnt want you BUT at the same time doesnt want anyone else to have you---certain givaway of OSLBD

Yeah others have told me this. Yet she continues to tell me to find other women. So annoying.

Maybe you should give her what she wants---find another woman---see how she reacts to that---maybe you prefer the new one--then she can kick herself for playing games and blowing her chances.

did you ever hear that pop psycology thing about

The thing you really dont want is really the thing you do want---for example

or to paraphrase founding father Neill S
regarding AFCs and AFBs in the club scene

They are sitting there all detached and above all those idiots carrying on around them--they dont wanna be like that they would never do something that stupid,they are sitting in corner being critical and being above all that---but whats really wrong is they DO want to be like that

I just talked to her on the phone, and got the answer I needed:

Me: "You sent me the biggest mixed signals last week, WTF was that?"

Her: "I was hoping kissing you would be some sort of closure for you."

Me: "No. Closure for me is either getting flat out denied, or getting with somebody. All you did was confuse me even more."

Her: "Okay. I don't have feeling for you like I do for guys that I dated. I want us to stay as friends. I know you would be happy, but I wouldn't. I would just end up doing shitty things to you."

Me: "Jesus, why didn't you tell me that months ago? I would be over you by now."

It may not be what I wanted to hear, but it's what I needed to hear. I feel extremely relieved right now; I feel borderline ecstatic. Now I can move on and cut loose this summer!

well done bud, now you can get on with life---now one more thimg i would say u can take it or leave it and its your own buisness---Id stay friends with her but if she starts any of that mixed signal shit again id call her on it firmly as in ''look weve been down this road before dont go there''

and kissing you and all dat WAS ---DELIBERATELY-----trying to play games with your head,no accident on her part she knew what she was doing

BLUNT is NOT good, youre trying to come to an emotional subject from a logic point of view.

and about "why does the two perfect blah blah thing"
well, there wasn't any sexual or romantic initiative from any part of the party, it MIGHT have became something but from the start the relationship was built in a "friends" sort of way. That's usually the problem.
Man (and women by the way) should try to act and flirt and try to evolve the situation to more then just friends FROM THE BEGINNING, waiting for the perfect moment doesn't work, creating it does, and NOT waiting a few month's until you realize you want to do something with it.

You CANNOT be logically attracted to anybody, it's a state of mind and a the situation youre in and.. well basically having some sort of game.


You want this romantic BEAUTIFUL story to be a part of. But youre afraid to create it, youre afraid to take chances, and that's where youre left in the end, both of you loosing a friend and a potential lover, and you could have been both.

better luck next time

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Yeah.

The situation was fucked from the beginning. I met her 3 years ago, and from the get go she had a boyfriend. She was on and off with this guy until last summer; About 2-3 months before I started dating my EX. So last semester was literally the only semester we were both single the entire time. But in reality I was well in the friendzone years ago. Part of what fucked with me this whole time is how cuddly and flirty this girl is; so much so that people thought we were dating forever. But I came to realize that she is just that way. We literally flirt in a way that would mean getting together for anyone else. Oh well.

Time to move on.

it's OK to be a friend of a girl and it's even OK for a man and a woman which are friends to have sex and maybe build a relationship

BUT
the most important thing is that attraction is not built by logical means, I said it but I have to say it again...

The best thing is that you both find yourself after having sex without knowing what the hell happened, and even better, it's OK... nothing weird happened and you both understand it

why? because it doesn't "make sense" you where just both drunk\horny\both and it "just happened"...

But if youre afraid to loose the gitl because you don't escalate, youre needy it won't happen and you loose the girl

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"