Too bad once a relationship is over a rubicon has been passed. It's not about friendship based on a personality; it's about a relationship that now can no longer remain friendship-only.

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

1. I would never try to control her. That's the biggest mistake anyone can make. This is a character test. If she fails it, I next her. The reason it "offends" me should be so self-evident that I shouldn't have to spell it out. A woman should not be hanging around with guys who have face-fucked her and who most likely will try to do so again.


2. Yeah, it's insecurity. It's emotional masturbation. Deal with it.

3. Again, I never said anything about controlling.

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

In many cases, yes.

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

who gets to decide if its cool? its her life, as long as she's not killing people or doing things for the wrong reasons.
wow, have you like never had an ex girlfriend? I have plenty that I have no intentions of getting back together with and we're happy being friends and I'drop any girl that entered my life saying I can't hang out with my Ex's purely because they're my ex.

like we've already said, it does depend on the situation, but its not a catch-all negative thing.



and btw, you've shown yourself to be highly insecure about your relationships.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Contradiction? Telling a woman who she can and can not hang out with is controlling. You are limiting her social ranges. Are you assuming that exes can NOT be friends in any way after it doesn't work out?
You just told me to deal with it, but you are refusing to. The entire topic was started because you are complaining about how a girl should not be around her exes. Instead of you dealing with it, you rid of her to avoid it entirely.
See the beginning of this post and note the embellished words. You said you should not have to tell her not to hang around exes... implying that you would tell her to if she didn't automatically... controlling her social limits.

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"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

I don't understand. You are a teenager and you act as if you had all these years of experience. How many ex-gf's can you possibly have had? Internet gf's don't count. As you get older I suspect you will learn how things really work.

Right, let me put my opinion across.
You think that anybody can completely cut out an ex from their life and not be MORE into them? seriously. Tell someone they can't do something, they will try and do it.

My current GF broke up with her ex because they weren't right for each other and were growing apart sexually (they had been friends since little kids), she met me and I basically catalysed the break up.

They had been dating for a year and a half, seeing each other multiple times a week and work together. Completely cutting contact with someone your that close to WILL NOT WORK. I will tell you exactly what I said to my girlfriend when she was asking if I minded her going on walks/ getting coffee and stuff with him:

"why would I mind? I know you love me and that would wouldn't cheat on me. He was a big part of your life and you can't just go cold turkey on him any more than a drug addict can just "stop". You wouldn't mess around with me while you were with him, you were straight up with him because you respected him. Both of you need to ease yourself apart, become friends over time. It will be akward at first but things will get easier as you move from a sexual relationship to a friendship type, I know you want me but I am not naive enough to think you can cut him out of your life."

And do you know what, her and her ex have been for walks, spoken at work and I am cool with it because she was completely open about the first time they went out he tried to kiss her, and she gave him a firm "its friends or nothing" talk. She took a massive risk admitting he tried to kiss her, by being cool with it and explaining how I expected it because he lost her I demonstrated just how confident I was in our relationship and how sure I was nothing would happen between them. By being cool with it, it makes her more certain she only wants him as a friend and helps ease her away from her residual feelings (and anyone who says you can date someone for more than a year and NOT maintain some emotional attachment is naive).

They had their period of ignoring each other and awkwardness and are now friends, I know she will never want him more than me.

I know this will likely get an emotional response from people, but if you try and stop your partners seeing their ex's in all situations then you are likely very insecure yourself about your relationship because the reason you don't want them with their ex is because YOU are concerned they will leave you for them.

But hey, that's just my opinion. Good luck finding a woman who isn't friends with at least one of her ex's.....

Legion....read my 4 reasons for break-up a few posts back, tell me if you would still NOT allow your gfriend to see her ex for all 4 categories.

You're all wrong.

Period.

'Cause I said so.

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THIS USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULES 2, 3, 8, AND 9

my last GF ex-BF visited her alot ... she was more with him instead of me .... they aren't immature about break-ups ... total bullshit.
They are still emotionally attached to one other in some way and this doesn't have to mean love or anything YOU are still nice to that certain person because they still have some kind of emotional attachement and this can be bad.

Most girls who hang around with their exes alot are insecure girls and this is true, if it's the EX-BF who dumped her it's very bad, she is vulnerable to him..

Just don't make a fuss of it - it really depends who did the break up
if your GF is spending more time with her ex then ask some question or dump her.
If you had a fight- argue with your GF or a temporarily break and she is spending time with her ex then you have the right to ask some questions.

if my GF hanged around her ex alot i would certainly talk about it, IF your girlfriend TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT HER EX IN YOUR presence then you can be damn sure she is vulnerable to him... or still got feelings or whatever.
my last girlfriend just talked about her ex during our break-up ... i just told her to fuck off and slammed the door.


Never allow certain shit.....and don't be wimpy

insecure girls still seek confirmation and attention from their EX or other guys, for this reason only i wouldn't stay friends and tell her to fuck herself. Just take away the ''self esteem assistant role'' and you will be amazed how immature they can be.

1. never hang with girls who :

talk too much about her ex - they aren't over their ex and are still vulnerable
spends too much time with her ex... probably more then you - she doesn't love him but still like him too much.
very insecure and accidentally careless - always act like they are the victim and always seek approval from -anyone-, if they can boost their self esteem by hurting you they will - this type only thinks about themselves
goes out too much - approval seeker, hidden repication agenda or whatever if you got a relationship and she goes out 4 times a week you can be damn sure -

if it's a combination of all then dump the girl

I do. It's not cool by my standards.

Check out this video - I just came across it. Lulz were had. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsOyvVVgYDg

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

You should read for comprehension. There's no contradiction.

"You shouldn't have to tell" means just that: there should be no need to explain to someone that, say, murder is wrong; they should just get it.
Get it?

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

Let me clarify something that all of you seem to be misunderstanding.

1. I believe firmly that if you make something forbidden, the forbidden thing (be it an ex, an alcoholic beverage, or ice cream) becomes a THOUSAND TIMES more desirable.

2. For this reason, you should NEVER tell a woman she cannot see an ex.

3. The litmus test of a female's quality comes from whether she chooses to see him or not of her old volition.

4. If she continues to be "friends" with the guy who facefucked her countless times, she's a low quality woman. Sorry, that's just the truth. She gets off on the emotional ego boost of unreciprocated feelings (the guy will nearly ALWAYS be trying to bang her - he has no interest in being her fucking friend).

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

That's a good post.

I'll add one thing:

When a woman of quality breaks up with a guy, she doesn't jump like a fucking monkey from branch to branch and grab another guy, while still harbouring emotional feelings for her ex. That's retarded insecure weak-minded bullshit. She should spend some months cooling off from her ex - cold turkey is tough, but boo hoo, life isn't all roses and fucking unicorns. When finally she has regained some emotional balance, she is then open to a relationship with a new guy.

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The “Four Fs” are the four basic drives that animals (including humans) are evolutionarily adapted to be good at: fighting, fleeing, feeding, and reproduction.

Uhhh...

Why are you so attached to being worried?

Who cares?

A real PUA finds a new girl asap.

I have like 10 girls I can name off the top of my head who want to be with me - why would I waste my time sulking over if a girl is with her ex or not?

Girls like that I use as sex buddies and the prude girls with great personalities I use as girlfriends.

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THIS USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULES 2, 3, 8, AND 9