Quote:
@Eddie
Yeah what you say is true.
My main problems at the moment are:
1. Was starting to accept that we will never get back together, I have recently got a new job though which is repetitive, boring as shit and 12 hour shifts.(well paid) She pops up in my mind so much the last two weeks because of this, and I analyse a million different things like... Was there someone else, why the last time I saw her did she say she was soar, how long was she planning on ending it, should I ask her again for the truth, drives me crazy.
Honestly driving home.at 6am tired she comes into mind, when I go to clubs music reminds me of her out partying probs getting with other guys. Kills me.
Part of me wants to get back with her in the future, but I told myself, if it was my mate who told me that he went to visit his gf on the train and on the way home she ended with him by text after a year and she said it was just distance. I would tell him... Fuck it... Don't even think about her she's a dick.
I know I hurt her alot telling her I was going off travelling which seemed to spark off all the doubt.
Honestly this is 11 months ago, its embarrassing that instill think this way. I think going out just hit me down a few pegs as I'm just not the catch I once was. And now I'm in that state of depression.
I love this quote from Ekhart Tolle on the addictive mind and love/hate relationships, and I think it may resonate with where you're currently at.
"Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to — alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person — you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain.
That is why, after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships.
They do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.
This is one reason why most people are always trying to escape from the present moment and are seeking some kind of salvation in the future. The first thing that they might encounter if they focused their attention on the Now is their own pain, and this is what they fear. If they only knew how easy it is to access in the Now the power of presence that dissolves the past and its pain, the reality that dissolves the illusion. If they only knew how close they are to their own reality, how close to God."
http://www.healthy.net/Health/Article/F ... ships/2505
To add it sounds like you have this very dogmatic way of seeing yourself and you're carrying a lot of shame for this 'failed' relationship.
CHAT
