A year ago I was where you were, in probably one of those extreme of circumstances. I LET the girl back into my life 5 months after things had ended (as bat shit crazy as she was and in spite of her ill SPAM towards me which I'd tolerated - its a slippery slope let me tell you) and I'll tell you it led to the same predictable result. EddieFews will vouch for me.

Why do I bring this up? Because. If you don't learn to plug the holes within yourself, take a good hard look at yourself and how women fit into your life (healthy and unhealthy) you're bound to repeat the same lessons until you've learned , or something extreme happens.

The reason for NC is so you can get over your attachment and see the relationship for what it was, and the fact it failed is quite telling that it wasn't a good one. It also lets you get back to YOU, putting yourself back into the driver's seat (or perhaps for the first time doing so). It isn't supposed to be easy. If it was you'd have likely ended it yourself, and perhaps even long ago IF you had a stronger sense of self. So, take this as a learning experience, there's some gold in it if you look deep enough and GROW from it never allowing yourself again to live through such a scarcity frame. Chance are, actually I pretty much promise you you won't even consider taking her back even if she came back crawling. You'd be living your life abundantly and would have opportunities all over the place where you'd be choosing which girl you want to get to know better and which ones aren't a good fit. You owe this to yourself.

You've endured enough. Don't let your Attachment drag you around and put you into a situation where you know isn't helping you grow as a person. You have a chance now, you can hit the reset button. Ask yourself "how is this action/behavior helping move forward?" the next time you feel that itch to contact her, or anything that's potentially moving backward or remaining status quo. Learn to embrace the fear and to not be impeded by it, make FEAR your friend. Nobody ever achieved anything of any worth in life by remaining within the confines that fear creates.

Wise words man!
Like I said NC brought things in perspective and helped me to become a better man, and I still will work on improving myself.
It was a good lesson, a hard one though. I think now, even with the gathered knowlegde it still would have ended badely lol

Appreciate it bro

Keep moving in the direction you're heading. You're on the right Track. Do not allow anything to derail you including her.

As you grow as a man you will no longer blame other people for your problems. The kid that gets bullied for his lunch money has every right to be upset with the bully, but at some point he must look himself in the mirror and ask why he doesn't have the courage to stand up to the bully. Or take some form of action to ensure that he gains the respect of those around him.

We must not continue to play victim. She can only do to you what you allow her to do to do.

Take full responsibility for yourself. It is the beta males and/or the weaker males who seek to point their finger at others for their own circumstance. Especially from the woman that you were suppose to be leading. And had you led her effectively you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

_________________
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You are 100% correct.
She even gave me hints about taking charge, but I didn't respond to it. I was being the beta/weaker male, nt the interesting male she met the first weeks.
I know see that

hey, guys I haven't contacted her and today she sends this.

hey
our sex was really good
like the best
haven't had good sex like we did in a while lol

So she's horny, maybe a bit lonely at best. Is this something you want? If its a relationship you're aiming for I wouldn't bother, you're barking up the wrong tree. 3 weeks isn't much time, a lot of contact will happen just to scratch that attachment itch. If you want another stab at a relationship with her I'd leave this be for a while, and who knows once you get over the attachment, work on yourself a bit, you may not want her back.

I don't want her back, she doesn't know what she wants.
I've been working on myself, but what to do with this, just let it slide?

Yep. Unless you just want an FWB, but really why have the baggage of an ex as your FWB, might as well meet some new chick for that where that history isn't there.

She can't meet your needs, at least not after a mere 3 weeks of NC. People don't change that fast, and the longer you let her sit with herself the more likely she'll reflect and take responsibility. Regardless, NC is for YOU so you can gain clarity and improve upon yourself. You know what to do.

Roger