you can have 10 girls, it does not matter onitis is onitis, i had 5 girls when i got onitis for my current gf.

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That's the truth I find you can be seeing 10 girls, but until you actually have some feelings towards a couple of them you're just as prone to oneitis as you would be if you didn't have any options.

I've made pretty major improvments with my anxiety, but I'm still not to the point I'd like to be, but here's a story from last night met this cute girl a while back really hit it off really started to like her then we didn't talk as much didn't think much of it I shot her a text vague response didn't let my mind start to race. I saw her on saturday and found out some guy beat me to her. My response was oh well it didn't affect me in the least because I have options. She came up to me to say hi I still talked to her in the same flirting seductive manner I talk to all girls in she loved it. She left with her bf I left and called up another girl I met last weeke and we went out.

When the anxiety kicked in I was at work I forced myself to stay busy and focused on what I was working on and it worked. If I can over come my gad I'll be good because that's the root of my neediness and I think in time I'll eventually kick it.

Bang drunk needy chicks until you aren't needy anymore. Then when you are crazy for a girl it's because you are attracted and turned on, not needy, which is ok.

^^ as much as I appreciate the advice that's most likely not gonna help. The thing is pua literature on neediness is all based on neediness stemming from falling to fast, putting her on a pedestal, lack of options etc.

The root cause of my neediness isn't any of that in fact my personality is not needy at all, but my anxiety disorder causes me to be needy which unfortunately there isn't any pua material on although the pua material out there has helped me.

Buddy, I AM the book on anxiety! lol

Some girls set it off, others don't. For me, none of them due until I get IOIs, or worst of all they get nervous (and they do, BADLY!), then I choke. Focus on relaxation and the neediness goes away. Meditate, practice mindfulness, and work on your ability to be present in anxious/exciting situations. Stay calm and monitor your body language. I'm sure you are exhibiting these unwanted behaviors when your emotional brain hijacks your body because your higher thoughts are occupied with stressful things related to the future. Sound about right?

You pretty much hit it! A lot of times what triggers my anxiety is over thinking even a positive response over text I'll be like well if she said that in person would it have been entusiastic or is she just acting over txt shit like that. And I turn a postive so far into a negative its not even funny. Thankfully I've learned and practiced calming techniques so even though I'm having those feelings I don't act on my needy emotions I calm them down and act on my rational thoughts. Now that I've learned how to do that I've had a lot more sucess there has been times where I didn't know how to separate my thoughts from my neediness and even though I didn't think I was being needy to the girl I was screaming neediness and that was ultimately the end of the relationship.

A while ago I met this girl things were going well I thought based on some of her responses and convos we've had txt/phone/in person. That maybe I was showing too much interest so I went 2 days NC then hit her up now we're going out tonight she's really excited about that she actually canceled plans and is coming back to town early to go out with me. My anxious thoughts were telling me yesterday call her txt her talk to her, but I canned them and it worked out great. I find the key is canning those thoughts and be more invested in yourself than the relationship and you shouldn't have a problem. Thing is not to blow my own horn I do exceptionally well with women, but my gad along with other disorders is my downfall.

You think too much bro. Deep breath and let it flow. It really is as easy as it sounds. When you get wrapped up in your anxiety, just recognize what your mind is doing and accept it. Then move on with what you want to do.

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^^ you're totally right! Here's a bit of an update from last night. I was set to go out with this girl, but she was coming back from out of town and was gonna be getting back later. So I knew there was a chance we would end up not going out. I told myself your happiness does NOT depend on her. Later on she texted me she was gonna be getting back to town later then expected and it was gonna be too late for what we had planned apologized and sent sad faces and told me to have fun. (Our plans were something I was gonna do regardless if she came or not I just invited her) I responded so unaffected and non reactive that she started texting me just to talk. I didn't have time at this point so I didn't respond. She texted me about an inside joke we have I responded this morning with some joking sexual undertone banter. And I'm gonna let her hit me up next.

Sidenote: I went out with another girl instead so in the end it all worked out well.

Just wanted to give an update incase anyone wants to hear it. I think I've got it figured out how to deal with neediness when my anxiety flares up. I had a situation where I was talking to this girl we went out a couple times convo's were totally mutual, but I put more effort into trying to set up dates and what not.

My guess is I came off as trying too hard because she didn't reply to a text when I asked her if she wanted to go out. (Of course I didn't just boringly ask her out) my anxiety kicked in head was going a mile a minute call her text her hit her up on fb, but I calmed myself down. Stepped back put my effort into a couple other girls and she got back to me. A couple days later.

That's what happened ya I was anxious over it, but I controled myself and it worked out in the end.

Exactly. Now, just internalize that so you skip the anxiety altogether or cut it back drastically.

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That's my code now. If something is off don't try and figure it out keep calm don't react and step back. Now that I have that engrained in my mind I think that will greatly cut down on my anxiety if not can it altogether. It took me a shitload of failures to figure it out, but now that I have it figured out I have more options than I've ever had in my life.

Same mindset if a girl does not take to your flirting. Fuck em. You were just being kind an social.

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It can be hard to entirely control the, "shit, that didn't work!" if you like one. Don't keep texting, just find something else to do - if you feel you fucked up your texting - how can you improve yourself RIGHT NOW? You failed - so make yourself less of a failure. I get some of my best work done after I feel I've lost a girl I actually liked due to text game.