Thank you, this helped a lot. To be honest, I am probably the best looking in my group of friends and I get laid the least. I think reading a lot of PUA stuff mystery, david d, etc. fucked me up. I have had better success before I started reading up on this stuff. I feel like I come off as fake and arrogant, always playing it cool and stuff. Instead of being genuine and being true about my intentions. Not saying PUA is garbage, but I misunderstood the lessons of being alpha, confident, etc. Instead I'm trying to be a wanna be player and act like someone I am not.

You need to have a balance and pay attention to the signs girls give you. If the girl is interested in you to the point of kissing you are fucking you, you need to take charge and take advantage of the opportunity. Do not be too much of a nice guy where you are scared to pull the trigger and satisfy the woman. If you try to be too much of a nice guy and don't act on opportunities the girls gives you it will turn them off and you will be stuck in the friend zone. I suggest that when you meet girls and you see the opportunity to become intimate with them run KINO on them (start touching them). This shows that you are willing to take risk not be too much of a nice guy, and shows the girl you are after that you go after what you want, and most importantly shows you are interested in her other than just being friends (which is a turn on). Girls don't like a guy to be too nice they like a guy they will go to the edge at least a little in their life. Girls also like a guy that will take charge. So do it, if you still going to do this nice guy stuff make sure that you take advantage of the opportunities girls give you to be more intimate with them.... and remember don't choke

Yeah I am too afraid to go direct...im afraid the girl wont like me then my reputation will go down as her friends could be my friends and she will tell them about what happened. I don't want to be known as the guy who gets rejected all the time. I will also seem very desperate for girls if I dont succeed and keep trying and approaching.
To me this kind of consistent guy will either be cool or a looser depending on his success . If he successful in getting most of the girls he tries for... he will be known as that player who all the girls like...or else he will be known as the desperate looser who keeps trying to get laid. It's no big deal for him if the girl rejects him because he's probably done it a lot and its nothing new, but as more and more girls reject him and talks go around...the guy will have a bad reputation and then more girls wont like him. Then he will only be able to get the sluts of university .

Thats just how I see it. If its some random girl on the streets or club ... then i guess I should be able to take a direct approach cause if she rejected me, nothing would change with my social reputation.

But ya pumpington i can really relate to what you said in your post...great post man you always help me out.
You are right... I want everything to come easy, i hate being under stress and being responsible to make the first move or moves. It takes me out of my confort zone and yea thats what I thought, that being that 'nice guy' i wont have to worry about rejection and that if I saw some clues that she liked me, then I could go and take action.

I think I care too much of what ppl will think. When I watch simple pickuup on youtube, the guys do crazzy shit and its like they dont care wat anyone around them is thinking. Look's like they just do it for fun and they are just having a great time. I want to be like that with girls.

I need to take control, I need to lead the girl...thats what I am failing to do.

Eh, maybe try practicing away from school. Go to a different college or the mall or something. I think if you just try it a few times, you'll get over a big hump. I was kind of terrified to go walk up to a random chick and be like "You're cute, I wanted to talk to you".
But even my worst encounters haven't been all that bad. The worst one said "Uh, no. Not you, ever. Seriously." rolled her eyes and then did a bitchy head flip and started walking away.
Most of the ones that don't work are usually polite. Either I get "etc, boyfriend, etc" or I just kind of stall out and lose her. But I've rarely had a rude rejection. Maybe %5 of the time, if that.

I also think your rumor concern is misguided. If you don't know who this girl is, she doesn't know who you are. So how would rumors spread?

1) Most girls like attention -- go for it. Make moves, try to fuck her, but don't be a dick about it.

2) Never try to be something you're not -- improve what you already are. "Nice" doesn't have to mean you are a pushover nor does it have to mean that you won't make a move when the time is right.

I used to get accused of being a nice guy all the time -- but I was also the guy who could go to a party, pull a girl I'd never met before off another guy, bang her in the upstairs bedroom within thirty minutes, and have her go back down and bring up another condom for a second round.

The real question is whether that's the kind of guy you want to be. I've had moments where I've gotten up from a blowjob or had a girl put her clothes back on when I felt like that wasn't what I really wanted from a girl at the time. We all go through phases, and sex is just one more beautiful distraction on the path the a man's true character and purpose.

All poetics aside, what's the point of becoming the kind of guy that (you think) women like, if you're not the kind of guy that you want to be?

Stop being nice just start act like a jerk and neg her on her reply and make fun of her ... then.... profit somehow ? lol

Why play it off? Take the fucking compliment already. I think this is a surface phenomenon of your main problem: lack of confidence and self-esteem. You should ask yourself what beliefs or thoughts lie at the root of this problem, whether they are true, and whether they should affect you the way they do. Then use cognitive reframing.


Also, pumpington is dropping knowledge here, so pay attention.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.