Text Convo Help



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pumpington
 Post subject: Re: Text Convo Help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:24 pm 
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Well here's another part to the story: She is in a top sorority at her Uni. When I first met her, she had been revisiting her hometown almost every weekend (only time I'm free between work and school as well) for various reason (friend's baby, grandparent death, etc.). She told me a few weeks ago, "You just caught me at a bad time and I am normally not this busy! I'm afraid you won't wanna hangout with me anymore, but I really wanna hang out with you!".
since then has she rectified this by inviting you out to do something?

if so, lets say you are about to tell me you flaked her, if so, did you rectify this by re-inviting her out

now lets say you are about to tell me she flaked you after you rectified this, has she rectified that by reschedualing, AND SO ON AND SO ON

what has been done about this in terms of actual accountability, or is it just, TEEHEE I WANNA SEE YA, BUT WHEN YOU ASK NO...
Quote:
And she told me last Friday that her plans to go out of town were cancelled with a :). So I thought it was pretty obvious she really wanted to spend some time with me. This was a day before all of the needy bullshit by the way. Hence why I was a little confused she flaked.. Here's that convo:
is she putting action behind that talk?
Quote:
HB: Not going to xxx! :)
Me: Awesome why's that?
HB: Just fell through, blah blah blah
Me: Wht a bummer, are you coming to the river with me Friday night? (I realize I should have "told" her she was coming, but I already asked her to do that and since she said she was free I reminded her of the opportunity to hangout with me)
HB: umm what's Friday?
Me: me and a few friends were gonna head out there blah blah blah (she obviously didn't remember)
HB: all day?
Me: Well work, and then in the afternoon we'd head out there. I might just go fishin and drink a few brews if your down for that
HB: okay when do you get off?
Me: x:00 on the dot, I can pick you up or we can meet somewhere
HB: hmm.. not really sure what your getting me into
Me: A whole heep of fun
HB: fishing and drinking?
Me: you must not know how to have a good time woman, what do you do for fun
HB: omg I do to I was just asking like if that's what we were doing..

Then like 5 hours later she replies with "I'll go tomorrow"
did she meet up on friday to go down to the river? she seems to be giving the WHY WOULD I DO THAT? more then a HECK YES, FISHING AND DRINKING!! THATSWHADDIMTALKINABOUT!!

lack of value in her enthusiasm, and then when you're like what do you like... she's like HURRRR NOT TELLIN BRO

Quote:
She ended saying "omg omg I'm so sorry but I have a (sorority) sister's bday to go to. You are definitely invited though!! :).
So I was like "how do you forget something like tht! I'll let you know if I decide to come. I was havin a good time with my bros so I decided not to come.
EXIBIT A, you spend a billion years building rapport with this girl
EXIBIT B, she wastes your time for your efforts
EXIBIT C, propositions lack value, she has to think what you are doing will actually be enjoyable for her more so then a pain in the ass

EXIBIT D, SHE IS NOT SORRY
Quote:
So the next day I figured she would've wanted to hangout seeing that she was giving me so many IOIs the day before. But oh well I guess I'll just wait till she texts me again or I am actually guaranteed to see her in two weeks. Football Rivalry. Gonna be siiickkkk.
EXIBIT E, flake mode, TEEHEE BUT I WANNA SEE YOU, JUST NOT NOW, MAYBE NEXT WEEK, EXCEPT WHEN NEXT WEEK COMES... NOT THEN, SOOO SHORRY MY GRANDMA, AND HER AIDS IS FLARING UP, AND MY DOG... YAH, MY DOG GOT KILLED... TOO BUSY SITTING ON MY COUCH, SORRY.... SO SORRY, BUT I LOVE YOU, WE CAN KISS KISS ;) NEXT WEEK WE WILL!! I SWEAR, WAIT SORRY!! MY CAT, SHE PEED ALL OVER!! SORRY SORRY SORRY CAN'T MAKE IT TO KISS KISS
Quote:
Thanks again people. I love the constructive criticism!!!
pay attention to what girls do, instead of what they say

compliance > non compliance

words < compliance

YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, GO FUCK YOURSELF (but touching you, allows you to kiss her, willing to be alone and willingly takes her clothes off)

YOU'RE THE HOTTEST MAN EVER, I TOTALLY WOULD MARRY YOU!!, IF ONLY WE COULD SLEEP TOGETHER (backs off and acts weird when you touch her, won't be alone with you, has an excuse to not go where you are, flakes you every time)

now who out of the two above, do you think is less of a waste of time, and who do you think is the typical ''cock tease''

????
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Snarg
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:30 pm 
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Once again, you need to be more direct and make decisions. "I can either pick you up or we can meet somewhere" isn't direct. It's giving her a weird decision to make. It's bad enough she'll have to go out with a bunch of people she doesn't know and watch them fish and get drunk. It's clear from what she's saying that she isn't exactly excited about the choice of events to begin with. The least you can do is show her that you know how to handle the logistics with her attendance.

"I'll pick you up at 5" is all you had to say.

Regardless, she's really just not that interested. She may text you a lot, but that's irrelevant. My mom texts me a lot. Does that mean she...well, nevermind.

I understand she accepts some of your invitations, but the fact is, she flakes every single time. The net result is that she's disinterested.
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BeardlessSanta
 Post subject: Re: Text Convo Help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:34 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 12, 2012 11:09 pm
Posts: 267
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Well here's another part to the story: She is in a top sorority at her Uni. When I first met her, she had been revisiting her hometown almost every weekend (only time I'm free between work and school as well) for various reason (friend's baby, grandparent death, etc.). She told me a few weeks ago, "You just caught me at a bad time and I am normally not this busy! I'm afraid you won't wanna hangout with me anymore, but I really wanna hang out with you!".
since then has she rectified this by inviting you out to do something?

if so, lets say you are about to tell me you flaked her, if so, did you rectify this by re-inviting her out

now lets say you are about to tell me she flaked you after you rectified this, has she rectified that by reschedualing, AND SO ON AND SO ON

what has been done about this in terms of actual accountability, or is it just, TEEHEE I WANNA SEE YA, BUT WHEN YOU ASK NO...
Quote:
And she told me last Friday that her plans to go out of town were cancelled with a :). So I thought it was pretty obvious she really wanted to spend some time with me. This was a day before all of the needy bullshit by the way. Hence why I was a little confused she flaked.. Here's that convo:
is she putting action behind that talk?
Quote:
HB: Not going to xxx! :)
Me: Awesome why's that?
HB: Just fell through, blah blah blah
Me: Wht a bummer, are you coming to the river with me Friday night? (I realize I should have "told" her she was coming, but I already asked her to do that and since she said she was free I reminded her of the opportunity to hangout with me)
HB: umm what's Friday?
Me: me and a few friends were gonna head out there blah blah blah (she obviously didn't remember)
HB: all day?
Me: Well work, and then in the afternoon we'd head out there. I might just go fishin and drink a few brews if your down for that
HB: okay when do you get off?
Me: x:00 on the dot, I can pick you up or we can meet somewhere
HB: hmm.. not really sure what your getting me into
Me: A whole heep of fun
HB: fishing and drinking?
Me: you must not know how to have a good time woman, what do you do for fun
HB: omg I do to I was just asking like if that's what we were doing..

Then like 5 hours later she replies with "I'll go tomorrow"
did she meet up on friday to go down to the river? she seems to be giving the WHY WOULD I DO THAT? more then a HECK YES, FISHING AND DRINKING!! THATSWHADDIMTALKINABOUT!!

lack of value in her enthusiasm, and then when you're like what do you like... she's like HURRRR NOT TELLIN BRO

Quote:
She ended saying "omg omg I'm so sorry but I have a (sorority) sister's bday to go to. You are definitely invited though!! :).
So I was like "how do you forget something like tht! I'll let you know if I decide to come. I was havin a good time with my bros so I decided not to come.
EXIBIT A, you spend a billion years building rapport with this girl
EXIBIT B, she wastes your time for your efforts
EXIBIT C, propositions lack value, she has to think what you are doing will actually be enjoyable for her more so then a pain in the ass

EXIBIT D, SHE IS NOT SORRY
Quote:
So the next day I figured she would've wanted to hangout seeing that she was giving me so many IOIs the day before. But oh well I guess I'll just wait till she texts me again or I am actually guaranteed to see her in two weeks. Football Rivalry. Gonna be siiickkkk.
EXIBIT E, flake mode, TEEHEE BUT I WANNA SEE YOU, JUST NOT NOW, MAYBE NEXT WEEK, EXCEPT WHEN NEXT WEEK COMES... NOT THEN, SOOO SHORRY MY GRANDMA, AND HER AIDS IS FLARING UP, AND MY DOG... YAH, MY DOG GOT KILLED... TOO BUSY SITTING ON MY COUCH, SORRY.... SO SORRY, BUT I LOVE YOU, WE CAN KISS KISS ;) NEXT WEEK WE WILL!! I SWEAR, WAIT SORRY!! MY CAT, SHE PEED ALL OVER!! SORRY SORRY SORRY CAN'T MAKE IT TO KISS KISS
Quote:
Thanks again people. I love the constructive criticism!!!
pay attention to what girls do, instead of what they say

compliance > non compliance

words < compliance

YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, GO FUCK YOURSELF (but touching you, allows you to kiss her, willing to be alone and willingly takes her clothes off)

YOU'RE THE HOTTEST MAN EVER, I TOTALLY WOULD MARRY YOU!!, IF ONLY WE COULD SLEEP TOGETHER (backs off and acts weird when you touch her, won't be alone with you, has an excuse to not go where you are, flakes you every time)

now who out of the two above, do you think is less of a waste of time, and who do you think is the typical ''cock tease''

????


Understandable. 2nd one definitely cock tease. So are you hinting at me to quit this girl. Or maybe just push my limits with her. Use her as a test dummy for texting? I have a lunch date with another girl today, so I ain't sweatin it.
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pumpington
 Post subject: Re: Text Convo Help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:47 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:37 am
Posts: 3276
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Understandable. 2nd one definitely cock tease. So are you hinting at me to quit this girl. Or maybe just push my limits with her. Use her as a test dummy for texting? I have a lunch date with another girl today, so I ain't sweatin it.
don't quit the girl unless you care too much, if you are becomming to focused on a specific girl due to lack of going out, delete that girls number and make the descision to go out that day, that time, no delay, meet new girls

you put her in your rotation, but organize your rotation

get your phone sorted up, friends/girls/timewastingscum, smart phones (android specifically)

can organize sub groups into folders, put her into timewastingscum,

you hit up that folder every two weeks, put girls that flake you in a pattern in there, and girls that are non responsive, and what you do is think of something fun to do once every two weeks, and you send out a text invite

''my friends are all going gocarting at XYZ, it's going to be sick, text me if you're down for the time and address''

''going out to minigolf today WITH GIANT CROWD OF MINI GOLF HUNGRY GANGSTERS, it's gonna be so much more amazing then a unicorn riding a rainbow... cause we run this mini golf shit, text me if you're down''

if she doesn't text you, she is not down, that is all, you ping this folder of scum every few weeks, low pressure, low investment, group invites, and when she comes out in person, she is surrounded by other time waster scum, and you choose who is the most jelly that you have female friends and flirt+touch

make the activity fun, it's the activity that gets them out when they are wasting time

save the boring invites for the girls that currently just want to see you and are fresh and active, and make sure to try to keep a steady upkeep of new fresh girls entering the rotation, or you will become more and more needy until you are singing the, THERE IS THIS ONE SPECIAL GIRL, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS HB9, HOW DO I DO THIS? song... fuck that song, beiber might as well have wrote it
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BeardlessSanta
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 12, 2012 11:09 pm
Posts: 267
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Once again, you need to be more direct and make decisions. "I can either pick you up or we can meet somewhere" isn't direct. It's giving her a weird decision to make. It's bad enough she'll have to go out with a bunch of people she doesn't know and watch them fish and get drunk. It's clear from what she's saying that she isn't exactly excited about the choice of events to begin with. The least you can do is show her that you know how to handle the logistics with her attendance.

"I'll pick you up at 5" is all you had to say.

Regardless, she's really just not that interested. She may text you a lot, but that's irrelevant. My mom texts me a lot. Does that mean she...well, nevermind.

I understand she accepts some of your invitations, but the fact is, she flakes every single time. The net result is that she's disinterested.
Hmm, yeah not the best invitation. She is definitely a party girl. I guess I'll just kill her with excitement next time. That's what seemed to keep her enthused. My drunk self calling her and telling her how crazy this party was. She always texts me the next day saying, "how was last night? You sounded like you were having so much fun". And she tells me to stop hanging out with "babies". I'm used to hanging out with kids her age and older. Hence how she might have been interested at first. Then I told her I went to a party that was busted for "underage drinking" she probably lost a lot of interest there. That whole conversation had me cringing..
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BeardlessSanta
 Post subject: Re: Text Convo Help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:32 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 12, 2012 11:09 pm
Posts: 267
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Understandable. 2nd one definitely cock tease. So are you hinting at me to quit this girl. Or maybe just push my limits with her. Use her as a test dummy for texting? I have a lunch date with another girl today, so I ain't sweatin it.
don't quit the girl unless you care too much, if you are becomming to focused on a specific girl due to lack of going out, delete that girls number and make the descision to go out that day, that time, no delay, meet new girls

you put her in your rotation, but organize your rotation

get your phone sorted up, friends/girls/timewastingscum, smart phones (android specifically)

can organize sub groups into folders, put her into timewastingscum,

you hit up that folder every two weeks, put girls that flake you in a pattern in there, and girls that are non responsive, and what you do is think of something fun to do once every two weeks, and you send out a text invite

''my friends are all going gocarting at XYZ, it's going to be sick, text me if you're down for the time and address''

''going out to minigolf today WITH GIANT CROWD OF MINI GOLF HUNGRY GANGSTERS, it's gonna be so much more amazing then a unicorn riding a rainbow... cause we run this mini golf shit, text me if you're down''

if she doesn't text you, she is not down, that is all, you ping this folder of scum every few weeks, low pressure, low investment, group invites, and when she comes out in person, she is surrounded by other time waster scum, and you choose who is the most jelly that you have female friends and flirt+touch

make the activity fun, it's the activity that gets them out when they are wasting time

save the boring invites for the girls that currently just want to see you and are fresh and active, and make sure to try to keep a steady upkeep of new fresh girls entering the rotation, or you will become more and more needy until you are singing the, THERE IS THIS ONE SPECIAL GIRL, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS HB9, HOW DO I DO THIS? song... fuck that song, beiber might as well have wrote it
I really like your style PUMP. I'll stay updated if good things come from y'all's advice. I definitely need to go out more, it's just I work full time and go to school full time it's hard to do shit during the week, but hell, what the fuck am I saying, college is great for meeting new people..like I said in other posts, my social circle has been increasing a good bit lately. I need to focus on my first sig below, improve myself as I'm learning. Thanks guys.
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