You have 2 options.

1)Drop the whole Facebook dilemma. Forget it happened. Forget that she talks to her ex still and just assume it's friendly banter. End result you get to be be with her at the present and your worst case scenario is that she eventually leaves you for this guy later down the road. (keep in mind you still fucking a hot Spanish model til that day comes)

2)Keep pushing her about this guy and your gonna push her out the fucking door. She has already made a subconscious decision to ease him into the heart break or eventually go back to him. Constantly railing her about him is only gonna pug her towards this guy. Best case scenario is she caves and gives into your will but she will resent you for it. Worst Case scenario is she leaves sooner rather than later and you lose a hot fuck buddy.

I really try to be as UNneedy as possible so when stuff like this happens I just don't ask questions. He who cares less WINS.

Consequences

Thanks so much for your advice.

I agree with you. I was just more of the frame of mind before if I allow her to "behave" in that way then am I devaluing myself. But I guess I have no choice.

I told her that if she is just trying to let him down gently then out of respect for me she should not call him baby and keep all communication plutonic. She has offered to tell him also not to call her baby but I see little point.

One last thing, she was seeing a guy (fuck buddy) for a few months prior to me. She says its totally different as he was a fuck buddy and I am her boyfriend as she puts it. She never "ended" it with him just stopped communicating. Does she need to contact him to say "I have a boyfriend now, hope you understand" or not. I dont think she does but shes asking me.

I think you summed it up well, he who cares less wins. However to a point. As her ex seems to care very little she is with another guy (me) as they had an open relationship but does that mean he is still in the game? She says hes "so understanding" and just very cool about everything. She says I see him like my brother. I just dont know how to react whenever she talks about him

Maybe she doesnt see him as a "Brother" or only a "friend". But think back to ALL the threads you see here about being friendzoned. Shes likely getting the dick from you and using him for the emotional support because she is likely more comfortable talking to him at the point than she is to you because you are still relatively new.

With the old fuck buddy she is likely testing you to get a reaction out of you. Dont let her play you for a fool and toy with your head. Simply telling her, "What you do is your business. Your an adult, handle it like one" and then just dont talk about it again.

From what youve typed out so far your coming off a little needy. Stop that shit. Go back to doing what you were before you became emotionally vested, before you cared about her past.

Some people will say "Fuck that, be Alpha, tell her to stop or get the fuck out". That could work, but then again I can see that back firing just as well.

Its really up to you and your personality. But when I think back to the only girl that hurt me it was a similar situation to you where I was not trusting and I was somewhat needy and nosy about guys in her life.

Its really funny thinking about how men and women work on a social and relationship level. Every guy wants the girl that will take it in the ass, swallow, and be a sex vixen in the bedroom. But no guy wants to date a Slut lol

No man or woman wants to date someone thats needy, BUT we all want attention from our lover so when our girlfriends arent giving us attention, well, we then want them to give us attention. That works both ways.

Hopefully you got the picture im trying to paint because I feel like i didnt describe it well honestly lol. Im not some master pick up artist so take it for what its worth brother.

I'm with this guy its just a bloody website who cares beside if she slept with you while she was dating guy number one she will definitely do it with you so just leave things as is fuck her brains out and then and If and when she decides to go to another country well then you already have her previous track record. Remember to women men are disposable especially women of her caliber so I suggest keep two things in mind women are disposable and two the one willing to break it off is the one with the power in the relationship or the one wearing the pants. just keep it the way it is and nothing if it breaks it breaks if it doesn't then good on you also one more thing just remember your with a model which means if you wanted to you could get another with little or no trouble at all.

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You lose a lot of money chasing women but you won't lose women chasing money.

DJ_Z

I agree with you 100% and Ive always said you lose a girl how you found them.

However this is how she has explained it to me.

She was with a guy for four years. She stopped having sex with him as there was no sexual attraction anymore and he became a friend.

She then slept with one guy who she modeled with and then met this other guy who she was fucking for about 3 months. She said he wanted to call her his girlfriend but she made it clear they were just sex buddies.

She then came to NY and met me and now she says shes fallen in love. (She could easily say we are just fuck buddies). She doesnt contact the previous guy and only her ex guy who she was with for 4 years who she says is just her friend now.

She says I have trust issues with her and that time will tell if I was right. But I wont be. On the other hand she makes it clear she just wants to see how things go.

At the moment she is away for 4 days working and calls me every day / night telling me how much she misses me etc.

I cant just dismiss this relationship as I do feel a lot for her hence why the facebook thing became an issue for me to see how serious she is. I suppose I thought if she publicly to her friends say we are together on FB then I presumed she was more sincire. Hence my dilemma.

She was only supposed to be in NY for 2 six weeks and now 3 months later has said shes moving here because of me.

The problem is she will have to go back to Spain to work maybe a few weeks at a time every few months. Im tempted to go with her so our relationship becomes more concrete as with my work I can be wherever.

I dont want to smother her, but I know how much attention she gets from everyone and its just difficult knowing it when Im not with her

WTF is this?

Um.... Seriously, a status on FB?

If you don't trust her, dump her.

If you do, STFU.

It's a no-brainer. Control what you can control, don't stress over that which you have no control over...

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

The way i see it

She's Using you as a way to make her rent cheaper while she's in the states.

Then when she's goes back to Spain she's fucking the ex.

She's probably telling him you're just a friend/roomate and he's dumb enough to believe it.

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I thought of that, but she has another place to stay for free and anyway shes not making money over here and wanted to go back to Spain but is staying for me. Or so she says. Its tough not to be skeptical but im trying.... How do i really ever know??

I would try and relax and forget about it, obsessing over stuff like this can just snowball into something that screws up the relationship.

As long as she's putting out, I wouldn't worry about it.

Not that it doesn't happen ever but it's pretty rare for a chick to have sex with one guy 3-4 times a week and still cheat on him. If the sex ceases for a week or two then you can start questioning her motives.

Here's what I assume is happening.(I'm assuming you have sex regularly and your performing up to par)

-Free rent
-She likes you
-She likes the sex with you

I would just ride the wave for now my man. If she has some big plan to get back with an ex than so be it. Your getting good poon now so who gives a fuck. Just back off emotionally. Yea it's a load of shit that she won't let you tag her or change her relationship status but beating her up about it isn't gonna do anything good unless you don't care to push her away.

Also, think about how these other guys are probably looking to her. NEEDY. Textin her all the time chatting her up. If she's ignitiating the contact than that's a different story. If she's ignitiating the contact then kick her the fuck out with no remorse and don't look back until she's thoroughly apologized and the remorse is evident.

Thanks guys. I appreciate all your help.

Just one more thing. Shes away for a few days and calling me non stop etc.

She asked what I was doing tonight and said having dinner with a girl (also a model) whos my friend and she knows.

She said she didnt want me having dinner just the two of us and told me to cancel.

I told her there was nothing to worry about but I didnt want to upset her and would cancel.

Have I lowered my value or am I just being nice ?

my ex wouldnt change hers and honestly it pissed me off her excuse was she didnt want ppl in her business. honestly i think its stupid if they wont and i think they should because we all know every guy that comes across her profile is going to be like how is this girl single and hes mostlikely goin to send her a message thats jus going to cause more turmoil when you find out

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dont chase, replace

I agree but looks like im stuck and just have to be above it!

sketched out as heck. I dont like it when girls are all wishy washy. She may continue to be like this and end up having like 3 or 4 different guys she's semi-going out with and stringing you all along. This may continue forever until you find some way to figure out whats really going on. but it will be hard because she may be vague and sneaky as heck and avoid the situation. honestly, stay away from these girls and dont get too serious with them if u cant

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Just trying to meet a 10.

I thought that at first but it could be shes had one long relationship 4 years, broke it and fucked around with a couple of guys and then now is settling down again. But then again maybe not!