Hey Hellhound, no problem. I read a lot of your posts, I think you have a good grasp/insight on things. I don't want to steal this guys thread, but this one thing with this "friend" of mine has me analyzing it all the time...I hate it, damn, I haven't done this since college, hell I don't even think I even analyzed my marriage this much (perhaps why I'm divorced). Maybe we should PM

If there's an attraction, I tend to think you always have a shot, or will get your chance at some point...that's relative to this post, I think... Anyway, I hope our bro does well...and I don think the VH show is going to help him out better than he thinks, especially if she's really into it... a grope session during "dance the night away" may not be that far from a crazy prediction.

[/quote]Out of the blue she texted me a couple of weeks ago about wanting to see a concert (and she mentioned her price limit, so it looks like she’s going to pay her own way). [/quote]

no offense but....

qoute 1 : she has no money to go out right now ?

quote 2 : I have no money but maybe i can get him pay tickets for the concert so i can go ?

Sure brother. I'll send you my email.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

givemethat: Actually, I don't think with her first quote "...not in a good place to go out right now..." she was saying she didn't have any MONEY to go out. At that point I think she was trying to nicely say that she just didn't want to go out with me. I had asked her out a few times (voice message, text) before that and she always avoided answering anything about going out (though she would answer other parts of texts). Eventually, (I think, anyway) she said that to get me to stop asking her out.

As far as the second, quote, she had said she didn't want to pay more than $X per ticket, so I'm expecting she IS planning on paying for her own ticket.

BTW, I assume it would be a total AFC move to even offer to cover her ticket (even if she asks, but I don't think she will). Actually, I GLADLY would pay for her ticket if it would get me anywhere (i.e., bed) with her, but I'm guessing it would have exactly the opposite effect, correct? Whatcha think? (remember...I'm a newbie.)

I always had a rough time taking money from women, but lately, I've come around to it...a little... and I stress a little.. I don't know, I think if she offers, which it sounds like she will, I think you take it. It seems a little unclear if your gonna close, and if you two do have a "moment" during the concert, I don't think the fact she paid for her ticket is going to be a factor.

When I was 26, 27 I dated, well, she ended up being my gf, smoking hot, Venezeulean girl 1/2 Venezeluean/Lebanese, actually from Maricarro, VZ (I know I spelled that wrong)...I mean this girl was a 12. Anyway, when we first starting going out, she never let me pay for everything at all...everything was dutch...she was still figuring me out...I mean this girl would get hit on constantly, damn, when we were bf/gf, guys used to hit on her when I'd leave to take a piss if we were out somewhere... anyway, I knew the tide changed when she started letting me pay for her...that is when I knew we were now really "dating" and eventually in a relationship. Maybe it was a cultural thing, but I really liked that...I knew where I stood and knew if I was wasting my time or not.

Whatever happened to her? Well, probably not a shocker, she was bat shit crazy!

(wow, I drank too much coffee this morning).

Guys, here's an update on my date to the concert with the neighbor woman. Started out very good news, but somehow (don't even know how) looks like it's going to end as bad news. Sorry for the long post.

Remember, this woman (in her mid-40s) had given me the "not in a good place to go out" text a few months ago when I'd asked her out. Anyway, we went to the concert and things seemed to really be going great! We were talking and having some fun on the way to the show. I used some kino and that progressed. At the show we did some hand holding and she was squeezing back, we stood for much of the show and were kind of dancing at our seats, at points I had my arm around her back and she put hers around mine. Then a couple of times I kind of slid my hand down over her butt and she did the same to me. During some songs I was directly behind her holding her close and swaying to the music with both my arms around her stomach. It's not like she tried to get away, on the contrary, when I was holding her like that she took her hands and put them on top of mine. We kissed several times at the show and even in the subway station. On the subway ride home we were cuddled up with our heads together, etc. She said a few times "That was so much fun!" We made some plans to go see a couple of concerts in the future. And, she was supposed to come over to my house the next day to watch some concert videos I have of some bands she really likes. These are all very positive signs, aren't they? Am I missing something here??

I actually felt a connection with her (which was really nice!). That was the first time I felt that way with someone since my last GF passed away in August. So far, so good.

But...

The next day she didn't actually come over (said she was doing some volunteering, maybe she forgot earlier?). So, Friday morning I texted her about coming over Saturday. A bit later I sent her a text with a link to some pictures I took of the show. She texted back with a thanks for the pictures, but never answered the part about Saturday. So, Friday afternoon I sent a text saying "Glad you liked the pics. How is Saturday looking?" She didn't respond until this morning (Saturday) with the following (note: she had been briefly out of work and had just had some interviews):
"...Thanks again for Wednesday. I got a job. Woo hoo and I'll be able to pay for the ticket soon. I enjoyed your company but I need to focus on my new job and getting my life in order. I hope u understand. Thanks again for a fun night and I will talk to you later."

Thud! WTF?

I'm just at a loss as to what happened! I also don't know how to proceed. In a way I feel like texting her back "No, actually I don't understand." But that would almost certainly burn that bridge. I mean, maybe the bridge is already burned, but remember a few months ago I got the "not in a good place" text and yet we just went out and had what seemed like a GREAT time.

Any suggestions on how to proceed with her? How should I act when I see her (she only lives two doors away)? Should I ask her out later? Should I wait a bit and see if she wants to go to the next show we had talked about seeing (maybe this time things will go even farther)?

I need some help here guys. What do I do now?

Thanks for reading and for any suggestions offered. They are much appreciated!

She's not interested. A woman has never said she needs to get her life in order to a guy she wanted to fuck. Sorry, but it happens. It's not worth getting torn up over. For future reference, though, game other girls. There's no such thing as gaming one girl for a while.

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These hos ain't loyal

DJ_Z: I agree her last text is certainly not what I was hoping to see, nor expecting to see after all of her very strong IOIs at the concert. (Incidentally, we only had 2-1/2 beers each, so it's not like she was drunk when she was giving me all of these IOIs.) However, if you read my initial post in this thread you'll see she also sent me a similar "not interested" type of text back in December, yet SHE later asked ME about going to the concert and when we did go, we had a great time (as she said herself a few times)! So, while I'm still going to keep looking for other women, I don't want to give up on her quite yet. We actually have a lot in common and I do like her.

So given that, how would you guys suggest I proceed? I was thinking of just not responding to her last text and then maybe after two or three weeks, mentioning one of the other concerts we had talked about going to (which is in mid-May) and see if she is interested. Does that seem like a reasonable plan? Or, should I respond to her text sooner and/or in some other way?

Also, if I happen to see her outside (she only lives two doors away) do I pretend nothing happened and just treat everything very casually?

I'd really appreciate some advice. Thanks guys!

Initially, DJ's point is spot on. But, women don't always see things so black and white. It is really hard to tell. She could've simply felt really depressed and lonely because of her situation, and simply needed a night out and that's it; now she has a job and can pursue what she wants, and you're done; or, she simply want to concentrate on this new job until she gets on her feet You never going to know unless you ask her, I wouldn't though, not yet at least. What I would do is, as DJ pointed out, game more girls and just treat this one, normal, that nothing happened. Don't ignore her if you see her because your neighbors, that's childish, but don't be up her ass either. Actually, try and get her to see you with another girl.

Her head can simply be screwed up right now or she's not interested, but you can't assume either. I actually had a similiar experience. And it took until recently for me to find out what really happened. I had all sorts of advice from others, even my lesbian friend who said, she just lost interest, guess what, that was far from the case.

I f closed this woman on the first date, we went out a few times after, great connection, then radio silence. She does happen to be a very busy white collar business woman, and said starting giving me career lines. I just acted normal, when I went on vacation, I sent her pics; as I did other women I'm persuing. We crossed paths on a few business things. I sent her a flirty email now and then, when I saw her in the news, etc. I did ask her out to dinner a few weeks ago, which she agreed, but then a "work thing" came up.

This week I get a txt from her out of the blue asking if I can meet her for a spontaneous drink. I decline, because I have plans, I have a 25 yo old coming over for dinner! HAHAHA. This is true, but I of course don't tell her that, just that I have plans. Oh, this woman is in my age range, late 30s. The next day, I do the same to her, how about a spontaneous drink...she just got off work, she tells me where she is, she didn't order yet, I said, great see you in a little bit.

I'll skip right up when we starting talking about us. I thought she was upset with me over something irrational, others were telling me she lost interest, I even thought maybe her pretentios friends didn't like me, well, she told me the really reason and had nothing to do with her losing interest. This is also some weird women logic. She was embrassed succumbed to me on the first date. She started thinking we were "doomed" because of that. SHe claims she doesn't do that, never does that, let's assume for argument purposes that she's telling the truth. There's a also something in her ethnic background that leads me to think this might be true. She claims she has not slept with anyone since...whatever.... But she does say its a compliment, in a way, to me, because she obviously felt comfortable with me, things just went too fast.

I asked her why she didn't say anything before? She could've talked to me about this and why the sudden change? She said that through my following contacts with her she could tell I was a genuine good guy and I was saying a lot of the right things, whatever that means. I told her that I did like her, obviously, and was kind of bummed when it looked like she was blowing me off. I told her I wanted to see her, but if she wants to pull the throttle back a little that's fine, we can do that. She agreed, she said she likes to be courted; again, something in her ethnic background makes me think she really thinks like this. I paid for the last dinner, drinks, so that was a date....so, now I got re-aquainted with "A" and we appear to be dating again.

The point of this long drawn out post; all the signs were there that she lost interest, but that was furthest from the truth. You are simply not going to know.

I would just be normal, go out with other girls, don't stalk her and see where the cards lie....she may very well just not be interested, or she may be confused...

J