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I've known this girl for almost a year now and we've always been good friends. Since I met her, I knew that she liked me but had a BF so I pretty much ruled her out.
However, a few months ago, we were hanging out at the mall and she said that she wanted to break up with her bf but wasn't sure whether to do it or not. I don't want to straight up tell her to break up with him so I just told her to choose the decision that would make her happier.
She's been struggling with this decision for over 3 months now and I think I really fell for this girl. I want to pursue a relationship with her, but I obviously can't do that when she's still dating the other guy..
This other guy is nice, caring and is a good guy but I just feel that I can give her more. He is not around much and spends most of his time studying. He is not social and outgoing but is more the shy, quiet type. It makes him so much harder to dislike.
Then yesterday, during her birthday party, she dragged me to the side and asked me if I liked her with her bf about 10 feet behind her. I was completely caught off guard and told her yes, then she replied that she was sorry and that because she has a bf that she can't be with me. It was absolutely brutal not only because she chose him over me but because she led me along.
Honestly guys, should I just push away my feelings and move on or should I try to try to win her back again?
Your advice is much appreciated!
I am a counselling psychologist in training, and I can tell you with the utmost certainty that on a surface level her behavior was both callous and vindictive, but more importantly the concomitant motivations were to devalue you publicly while simultaneously raising her value. She achieved this by implicitly demonstrating exclusivity (rejecting you with her bf present), whilst evoking jealousy (in him) as a means to drawing him closer to her. I can't help but believe that you were instrumental in all this, and it's unfortunate that you had to be the pawn of sorts for her own ends.
CHAT
