Yea, no, you made a mistake. You're TELLING her you are less needy and will back off. You actually need to DO IT. Don't listen to what they say, but how they act. This is like lesson #1.

quick update:

she just called me, really quick convo, I was like, lastnight was cool, nice to see the real you blah blah, she was like, sorry for being grumpy towards the end of lastnight, she was trying to call me out on my need for space but i wasnt having it and insisted i do. I said, that's cool, think it's good to have a break for a bit.

Now i think I have regained some of the power, what you guys think?

if she is chasing she is chasing, just don't chase for a while man, if you are going to play the, don't worry i'm not needy card, you have to play it and be congruent with it, possibly she will text you/call you every day still, pay attention to the cues if she is looking for an invite out, she is looking for an invite out, just look for the cues, and don't push or pressure to get things and use your better judgement, if you are trying to get something from her that is needy, if you are trying to give something to her and are being pursued as a result, that is bossmode, as long as you are not acting desperate and always trying to get something you are ok, and you don't have to be 100% non needy at all times 375 days a year fully ALPHA AS FUCK i'm not human mode, sometimes a small dose of neediness with the I miss you and so on can be good and comforting to her, if they are done at the appropriate times, under the appropriate contexts and she is not smothered by neediness, just pay attention to her and what it is she is doing/saying and why she is doing/saying what she is doing/saying

Stop wasting your time man.

great advice pumpington.

slightly one-itus type answer but I think this particular situation is worth a little more effort seeing as she's on my level in terms of conversation n wat we're into and also the sex was some of the best i've had in my life!

Yeah, I could just next her but it's like sales, if you've made a big sale and then the buyer comes back to return it, you don't just accept it back. You try and see what caused the buyer to bring it back and whether there's anything you can do. (haha see i'm learning.......not trying to get the buyer to take it back but rather reminding the buyer of what they originally saw and then if they wanna keep it, they do!)

I think what I did well on fri was to not broach the subject of us but let her talk about it when she wanted. I was focussing more on making her feel comfort/rapport and keeping the vibe about "us". Serious, it felt like we were the only people in the bar. In fact, she only brought anything about our situation up at the end, as if she felt because she had planned to say something, she needed to. Or maybe i'm reading that wrong.

Only question is how long should I give it? She did say on fri she just needed a little bit of space and that it didn't have to 2 wks. But I didn't push how long as thought it better to let her say her piece. Now I don't know what to read into that.

I do wanna contact her, I am resisting the urge lol but, it feels so weird not to be speaking not cos I want to speak to her so bad blah blah blah but because, i've never had that kind of night where you tell intimate details about each other's lives and then after that you go on a break. Feels weird cos if anything then normally that's the springboard to take things onto another level! That's the only reason that I'm feeling like I wanna contact her.......has anyone been in this particular situation?

don't forget man, you don't have to stop talking to a girl just because you are meeting new girls, if she is your girlfriend she is your girlfriend, but if you are single you are single, If you are one of those stay at home don't go out guys and she is your only option, and the only girl you talk to, you should really put forth an effort to fix this, not saying you have to sleep with anyone else, but you should at least have other female contacts

well, i live with my ex so no danger of having no girls to chat to although I have realised that a lot of my good girlfriends kinda drifted out of my life as I became too wrapped up in my relationship. As a result, I think I do still need to reconnect with some of them but I do have other girls besides my ex to talk to. If i'm honest, i've probably been neglecting a lot of people of late but I'm already taking steps to rectify that.

So she text lastnight, i did actually text her first but it was because I suddenly realised that she had told me something quite personal and that my distance could be miscontrued as me being freaked out by it so just text her and said I was keeping my distance out of respect not cos of anything said.

She replied much later and then we had exchanged a few texts. At the end of her last one she asked how I was but when I replied she didnt. Not sure whether it was cos she'd already fallen asleep but to be honest, it'll be good if she takes a while to reply and i don't do anything so she knows that I am truly keeping my distance.

Realised i've been a bit of a pussy about all of this, need to change the dynamic so maybe a proper freeze out now regardless of if she replies is warranted? Only problem is that there is the chance this could push her back towards her ex who's she now speaking to again!!!

You smothered her, thats that. And if you push the idea of getting back together she will view you as the pushy guy, thats a big no no. Best advice, dont end it, instead realise that it has already ended. Good news for you, your on a pua forum with loads of great tips, so go hunting brotha! Besides, shes talking to her ex, over you which is now her ex...that says somthing...it says HALL PASS! good movie

it is too late, you did not listen, nothing can possibly fix this but time and it is likely time will not fix this, you need more options, not old options, old options that you have not slept with, are used to not sleeping with you, does that make sense? it is allways way harder to fix something, then to get something new because the negative impression has allready been made, if they come around cool, but you need to learn to just get good at playing the next card if you want to improve your sex life

find some new girls that you have never met, and make them used to sleeping with you, then find new girls that you have never met and get them used to sleeping with you, then find new girls that you ha... you get the point, START APPROACHING WOMEN, you need to leave this shitty comfort zone you are stuck in or you will get the same results you have always gotten, don't chase women, approach them, show them what you are all about, then let them chase you and have sex with them, don't fall in love with every girl you sleep with, if you are in love and she is not, you have just shot yourself in the face

lol, actually agree with almost everything said. I wouldnt say it's completely dead but i've PROPERLY realised how much of a fucking little pussy i've been when i've got so much going for me!

I'll still try and not even regame her but get her back into the state that was created before we first fucked. Only reason I think that i've still got a slim chance is cos i know she has cum like i made her very few times!!

Was re-reading my initial texts and made me realise what a pussy i turned into. I was spitting decent game, escalating sexually so that by the time we met it was already clear what my intentions were. I realise now, I got sucked into my nice guy when she said she was getting freaked out. What i needed to do was still be the ballsy ridiculous guy but also talk to her on a level as well. Probably have realised too late but it'll be good practice anyway lol

Thanks for all the advice. I'm out on sat anyway so i'll definitely be looking to check some next chicks.