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I feel you, and I totally empathize. This kind of thing seems to happen to me quite often as well.
Its weird, every situation I'm in where no one or most people don't know each other, I seem to always be the one who initiates everything and gets people talking to each other and bonding. I start out as the 'social leader', and then I find out everyone has met up without me a week on and shit like that.
I have never understood it because I make people laugh when I'm around them, normally more than other people are able to do. I don't act annoying or needy or insanely awkward. I try and be friendly to everyone, but it just seems I get ostracized again and again.
One of my ex's told me (after I got really upset during a period of my life where it seemed all my friends were abandoning me) it was because people seem to think I'm aloof and contemptuous of people. I don't feel like this, but perhaps I have a face that makes me seem that way or something. Recently I have put in a lot of effort to reduce this impression on people. I am about to (hopefully) enter into a new regular social group, so hopefully I won't end up getting left out again...we'll see.
bingo.
welcome to my life.
couldn't have said it better.
most people think i am a real asshole.
but it's nothing that i do or say.
because i don't do or say anything but genuinely friendly stuff.
however, i figured out the cause years ago.
it's subcommunication.
i don't trust people.
and that shows through.
people don't like it when you don't blindly trust them.
men or women.
they can sense a barrier between you and them.
look closely. even if you are a social butterfly, there may still be a barrier.
ah well, fuck 'em, i like my barrier.
CHAT
