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(1) I K-closed twice last week with her in the same enviroment....just repeat that tomorrow evening?
You've seen a ladder, haven't you?
If you've reached the third rung, you get to the fourth and then the fifth, till you get to the end of the ladder.
You just don't stop climbing and repeat it to the same rung the next day, now, do you?
Comprende, amigo?
If you've already kissed her, it's time to go sexual with her. But, that depends on the second question which is..
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(2) I reckon she did indeed 'flake' on me sunday evening (the dreaded 'I have to finish some work off' excuse)...
- in light of this, do I arrange another date for this week like I said to her we would in text (she obliged).
Well, the biggest reason of flaking is not the lack of attraction (and especially not in this case, since you already kissed her. Twice.), it's the lack of an established comfort level and an easy rapport shared between you and her. So, instead of going for the same process consisting of you asking her out and she giving you another good excuse, work on developing a good amount of comfort with her, so that she's good with going out with you. Alone. Willingly. Happily.
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(3) We've never been alone together and shes new in this place, and also very shy by nature (although we had a good laugh and joke tonight in the library of all places lol.....
- In light of her fairly shy persona and our lack of time alone, I think my strategy is going to be to build comfort over the next week or two in the presence of our mutual friends AND THEN arrange a date when things are more concrete ....would you think this correct?
Shy is just not an excuse. I'm sorry, but it just isn't.
If you can put her in the right state, then she will take what she wants, and she's not going to ask for permission about it either.
I think you're on the right part with this deduction and should focus on this. Give her some time and effort. Once that's done, she won't flake again.
Good luck.
P.S.
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and i cannot believe no one mensioned the whole '' my friend lesbian gangbang '' thingy ..
in what fucking parallel universe is it normal or ok to talk about lesbian gangbangs... do you think every morning i talk with my neightbour about lesbian gangbangs ? i don't have anything against gangbangs but it doesn't sound like regular conversation material...
Seriously, I am amazed at this, as much as you, Lodewijkp.
I mean never mind the fact her friend said it, when something like a "lesbian gangbang" is brought up, you can tease them about it, but don't buy into her frame.
It's her way of trying to dominate the conversation and she's obviously using the most common hook for a man i.e. lesbian porn, so instead give them a neutral reply, like a "Good for you." and move ahead.
Or, tease them a bit about it, but never get dragged into her frame. CONTROL the conversation, don't let the conversation CONTROL you.[/quote]
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