Report on the party... long story short, it was a blast!

I'd previously thrown a couple big parties like this during the semester, but this one I really had the most fun at. My bartender was pretty late to the show (1230am) so I took on the job, and this gave me plenty of opportunities to be social. Due to my "ladies drink free" policy, I had plenty of opportunities to talk to and flirt with any woman that came to the party, and my confidence soared.

One HB7 that I remembered was interested in me my last party, she came again and after a little flirting and kino she quickly became my shadow, touching me and following me as I went from room to room. It was hilarious watching other guys try to pick her up, and she even flirted back with them a little, but I knew I had her and played it ultra-cool. I ended up making out with her several times, but she ended up drinking a lot and her friend took her home. I figured at some point I could have dragged her into my bedroom, because near the end once we were alone in the spare room we basically attacked each other She also insisted on writing her number on my forearm. I'm sure the HB7 will come to me and be an easy F-close with a little persistence. I was texting her a bit after she left, but wasn't able to get her to come back. I kept the frame of abundance/prized man, and TBH I'd rather escalate further when she wasn't drunk. If she had stayed, it would have been an easy f-close.

This other girl, an HB8 I had met a few times before through my parties, I really got to chatting up and flirting with as well. It was great, I'd be talking to the HB8 across the bar, turn around and make out with the HB7 for a few seconds, then turn around right back to the HB8. Made plans with the HB8 to jam together, and exchanged numbers. Not as much interest/kino as the HB7, but escalated to a kiss on the cheek. Not going to message either girl for a bit, since I'll be super busy this weekend with classwork, though I have a hunch the HB7 will contact me soon if not tomorrow anyway.

I felt on top of my game, and really became the life of the party. None of my ex's friends showed up, and if nothing else it definitely took my mind off her and I had fun with other women. I felt more comfortable gaming HB8 and lower since I wasn't in the "replace my ex" mindset, and rather just free to be myself and not fear rejection or anything else. That's what I meant by active gaming vs passive, I was passive here and will probably get an F-close and a good shot at the HB8 as well. Actually, the HB8 was also older (23) and a musician (big plus) so that could even be a good FWB or possibly more. Regardless, I had a lot more fun at this party than my earlier ones this semester.

Most importantly, I made a point to be social and friendly with everyone, including all the guys there too. Never brought up or discussed my ex with anyone. I was contemplating not even having the party due to my sour mood, but that quickly brightened up and I had the most fun at one of my parties I'd had all semester. Just knowing that I can't run back to my ex for sex gave me social energy, and it was great.

EDIT: Aside from the party, I've still been all mopey/stressed but I have made mental progress on the ex otherwise. All things considered, I am convinced my ex suffered emotional trauma as a child, and as such is extremely repressed emotionally. Emotional trauma also manifests itself in the body as physical ailments, and this is also very true of her. Whenever my ex is confronted with a difficult situation or conversation, she often ends up crying and isn't really able to express what she's thinking. It also explains her lack of empathy and why it's difficult for her to give anyone a genuine compliment, yet easy for her to criticize others and see nothing wrong with it. So while this belief has helped me tell myself that she's not girlfriend material, it still hasn't helped me not care about her. Yesterday I was beating myself up for not seeing this before and tempering my anger when she would upset me... long ago I even told her that I couldn't hate her because the things she did to piss me off were not intentional to hurt me, or anyone. She's not crazy like my ex before her, doing things like sending proof of an affair to a husband or burning pictures / possessions. This one has a very special brand of crazy; perhaps one day I'll be able to understand/handle it, but you guys were still right - not right now.

Great update man! I am glad to see the party went well and you got some new girls and action. Just fuck the brains out of the HB7, she seems to be pretty easy. Maybe seriously game the HB8, she seems to have more self-respect and good qualities (musician). And keep strong! You are doing great. Just don't text your ex back and you will be on a road to success! Looking forward for any more updates man! Keep em coming!

So here's my experience and what worked for me.

Last night I hung out with this girl that took me to this guys party that was interested in her. This was In order to make me jealous seeming how she knew us hanging out with a different girl. I was indifferent and didn't really care how the two of them acted only smiled. I only did one alpa move because I was bored (and thirsty) getting him to give me his last beer. Uncomfortably for him funny for me.

In kissing this kid and immediately coming up and telling everyone that she had thus indirectly letting me know. I didn't react. At the end of the night she came home with me and I would've had sex with her if I kissed here I did not keep getting flashbacks of this other girl I'm seeing.

So my advice , ignore the kid he's irrelevant the only thing that matters is the girl.

Alright so tonight the HB7 came to mine. Yesterday, she invited me to hang out with her and her friends today, but that fell through (I was busy anyways) and she just came back to mine for movies. I used some pretty good push/pull but didn't get much farther than making out. Lots of LMR, but it's understandable; she was now sober rather than shitfaced, but what I think mostly is she likes me and doesn't want to seem easy. Tons of IOIs and flirting towards me. Interestingly enough, she's decent company and I think pretty good FWB potential so I'll stick to it and game as normal.

She's not quite my ex's attractiveness, but hey, every empire's gotta start somewhere

Can't believe I was talking something about passive gaming. Boredom and opportunity sets in. I really should start working out, though. I actually am just making more plans with platonic friends lately anyways, and having another party on Friday. For better or worse, this HB7 is leaving town before that happens, but I'll be sure to keep semi-regular updates on here. If nothing else, than to smooth out the edges with new HB's while I get my confidence back.

So, I'll update on the situation. Still no contact to or from the ex. I've been logged into SPAM the last few days (trying to get ahold of a couple people) and notice her logged in the usual time saturday/sunday and tonight she was logged in really late. Didn't think much or it nor did I care.

As for her friends: no contact from any of them. Good riddance, I suppose. Except from J, who texted me a couple days ago and was about to relapse, we spoke on the phone and we're on good terms again. I didn't really talk about the ex. I mentioned my visit to J earlier in the topic, apparently the guy she'd been sleeping with and considering dating is a registered sex offender. From her descriptions he's got red flags psych wise (PTSD, attachment issues, etc) so it's only a matter of time before that fizzles out. And if I want to get fucking J again, this is probably also a good thing she's involved with another dude; right now, I'd put her off too much by talking about the ex, and make J feel like a rebound. If I went after J in a couple months time I'd probably have much better success.

As for the HB7 - didn't hear from her today, nor did I contact her either. I'll probably get ahold of her tomorrow, use some humor and figure out something to do... I'd rather do something else instead of just right to "movie at my place" to show I see her as more than just a sex object. Any ideas? Not much to do in the small town. Shopping, food, coffee, not that much comes to mind... aside from throwing a small-get together. Tomorrow night (Wednesday) is a no go for escalation with the HB7 anyways, since it's my regular "date" with a chick friend that comes and stays over every Wednesday - platonic btw. Thursday will be her last night in town, and likely the day I'll try to get her over again, but I'd really appreciate a solid game plan in the meantime. I hate working with deadlines.

The HB8, I sent her a text Monday at 5:15pm "Don't suppose you found an amp yet eh miss guitarist?" but she never replied. Probably going to just lay off until she contacts or I run into her, she's likely to be at my party Friday anyways. Wasn't that much attraction there, to be honest. She may be a dead end (at least a real challenge) anyways, since I technically got to know her when my friend Nick (previous mentioned as well) was gaming her, but he only got to k-close with the LMR of (I don't do that out of relationships). At the party, she brought him up and said they don't hang out anymore, he wanted a relationship and she just wanted someone to hang out with. Might actually be a pretty classy chick - gotta get to be friends before real escalation. And Nick's a pretty attractive guy. She is pretty damn cute, got plenty of attention at the party. Was sitting on some other dude's lap but that was while HB7 was on mine. But otherwise, didn't see her really kino'ing with anyone else, nor did she get very drunk either.

As for normal life, haven't changed much, just hanging out with my friends more and lots of studying for finals. At times, I really miss my ex and whatever it was, knowing that it's finals week nobody has to get up early and I could probably get her staying over almost every night if I had wanted to. I still regret at times not getting that "one last fuck" especially on camera, but really that would have just been a step backwards. Not only would sex compromise my resolve, but I'd then have a video to whack it to that keeps her even fresher on my mind... oh well. What's done is done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o



EDIT: The next day. So yeah I f-closed the HB7 last night! Took her out on a couple errands, came back to my place. Asked for her help in helping me make a couple new drinks, played some guitar, watched some TV. Took her downstairs to the bar (I had to talk to my landlord) and of course DHV'd the shit out of myself, being friends with the bartenders, staff, bouncer, and running into several friends down there. Walked to the corner store, and struck up conversation there too. When we got back to mine around 11, started watching TV again and before you know it she was in my bed

All things considered, I think I'll bump her up to a 7.5. Unfortunately, about 10-15 minutes into sex I got caught up in my head (thinking about my ex i'm pretty sure) and lost my arousal. Hopefully, I'll still keep the HB7's interest and keep her on the regular next semester regardless. We did cuddle and talk after sex, so it was pretty good.

Regardless of that, having another party tonight (and the HB7 won't be there) so I'm up for some fresh conquests! Likely, whatever I do at the party will get back to the HB7 (she'll ask her friends who do go likely) but I won't let that worry me. Just going to have fun and be social like the last one.

On other matters in life, just found out today I got a 3.67 GPA for this semester, barring a 2credit course which I should also get an A in. That's my highest GPA ever, by FAR. Prior to this semester I'd never even gotten a 3.0. So I'm in a pretty fucking good mood right now.

On the ex, I still have daily regrets and thoughts of "was ending it like that really the right thing to do" but I guess that can't be helped. At this point, I think I'm mostly just missing the physical aspects of it - I mean, she was really receptive in bed, her sensitivity to touch and exaggerated moaning made me feel like a king in there. It was also easy to make her cum, and she loved to swallow. But I know outside of the bedroom she was just so fucking high-maintenance, and so bad at interpersonal relationships it was frustrating. So right now, here's my goals for next semester (PUA-wise). Solidify the HB7. Get at least three FWB situations going on. Avoid relationships like the plague until I've been "single and sober" for one year - June 2.

I think as long as I solidify the HB7, I will consider writing some "reconciliation" letter to my ex in a couple months. I can't help this inner need to leave my relationships on a good note, it's subconscious and probably irrational but it's there. If I contact my ex again (and it's likely) then anything I write in this "letter" will seem genuine but really won't be, and I can approach her with a totally new mindset. I plan on giving it at least 30 days of NC, possibly 60. It's all dependent on my FWB status with other women, because there's no way I'm even going to risk contact with my ex unless I've already got at least one or two solid MLTR's going. But I definitely wouldn't mind keeping my ex back in FB status a couple times a month at least. Of course, can't be sure if she'll try and contact me either. I'm probably an idiot for considering contact at all, but I'll make sure to thoroughly evaluate it and discuss it with you guys and friends before I do. No point if I'm not ready. I've heard you can't be friends with your ex unless her being plowed by other dudes doesn't bother you, and I think it still does right now. Having her in an MMF threesome actually helped alleviate this, and made me realize just how much better I am sexually than any of these young kids she's probably sleeping with.

Congrats on the lay man! Moving along in the world I see! Keep gaming and live strong!

I didn't really want to bump this topic, but I figured I'd post an update for anyone stumbling across it. And for those who replied to see what their advice has brought.

It's been about a month now, and I still think about her every day. At least, I'm pretty sure I do. It's not nearly as bad as it was a month ago, and honestly the only thing I miss at all is the sex. And not even that so much. Last thursday, I re-fclosed an old FWB who LJBF'd me 7 months ago. And the next day, I went to visit the HB7 on my way to NYC and fucked the bejesus out of her. She's not as hot or experienced as my ex, but she treats me SO much better. In some ways, I definitely enjoy fucking her better - it's more intimate and passionate if that makes sense. My ex would never like to kiss during sex, or return much affection.

I got a bass guitar, and in the last few days have been practicing 3 finger techniques - Steve Harris is my hero. I've reconnected and spent more time with some old friends, and am already back to my MLTR ways. Like I mentioned, I went to NYC with one of my bros, nothing too crazy but we hit up an old favorite dive bar of mine and went to a strip club and just kicked it. But definitely not regretting kicking her to the curb no matter what. I am enjoying life much more now, and while the experiences with my ex were things I'll never forget nor regret, I've definitely learned from it and become more alpha as a result.

Thanks again for all the replies, especially Tru and Stig. Hope you cats are doing well too.