Hi guys,

Been on the forum for a while but haven't posted much. I'm trying to change my average ways and become more like you guys. I really need your help and advice on this. I need to know what went wrong. I'm sure I made a lot of errors but I can't figure this out.

About a month ago (5th March) I was out at a club when a HB9 came up to me and asked me to hold her drink and take a photo of her friend and her. I said I've got a drink in my hand so I can't but my mate will do it. My friend takes the picture and then I start talking to the HB9. Eventually we start dancing, taking pictures etc and she is grinding on me. About half an hour to an hour later, after we've got some drinks and been chatting, I kiss closed her. I felt really confident that night and it paid off, I got her number, her BBM and a kiss close so felt good about myself.

Wake up the next morning and she has text me, asking me if I had a good night etc. Eventually we start communicating via BBM and we messaged each other pretty regularly for the next few days before I actually called her up and spoke to her on the phone.

Then she started calling me quite a bit, she called me at lunchtimes etc and I arranged a date with her for the upcoming Tuesday (10 days after we met in the club, 15th March). Originally we were going to go out on the Friday but she had to cancel, she called me up to apologise and said can we rearrange so we did for the Tuesday.

Anyway, I took her out on the Tuesday, we went for some drinks in a lovely pub near her house. We chatted away, I held good eye contact, listened to what she had to say and we had great chemistry. She had been bugging me all week to sing to her on the date (I do a bit of singing here and there, at parties etc), so when we got back into the car I sang for her. When I finished she said that was amazing and she kissed me on the cheek. I went for the kiss close and was successful, we made out 4/5 times before I dropped her off home.

She messaged me that night to say she had a great time and would like to see me again. She also said I'm a great kisser so that was good! After that she was calling me everyday. She would call me in the mornings before she went in to her office aswell as in the evenings on her way home and sometimes at lunch or night. We were going to go out again on Monday (21st March) but on the Sunday she had to cancel as she had to collect her Dad from the hospital (Which is definitely true). I said it's OK I understand we'll sort something out for another time. So we eventually go out again on the following Sunday (27th March) and go for some dinner and drinks at a great little place. Again, conversation is flowing, there is plenty of kino, lots of sexual references and innuendo's and after the date again we make out for a while in my car and I make 2nd base. During the date she says her friends will love me as I'm like the nicest guy she's ever gone out with. She also says her Mum will like me as I am very clever and she likes clever people. HB9 arranges to go out with me on the upcoming Friday (1st April) to a bar so I agree. She also sends me a sexy pic of her.

The next day, she phones up in the morning as usual, then again in the evening. She says sorry to do this to me but her friend has given her a ticket to a concert for the Friday, is it OK if she goes? I say it's no problem, we'll just sort something for another time. So, on the Tuesday, she calls me in the morning as usual, I say I'll give her a call later or something, she agrees and says see you later. I try to call her at lunchtime but she doesn't answer. She msges me a couple of hours later saying work is chaos they have the auditors in. I say I know what that's like, just give me a call later. She doesn't call me that evening at all.

On Wednesday morning though, she rings me up as usual, says work was horrible yesterday etc. We speak as usual and then I say I'll give her a call later. I'm manic at work, really busy so I don't get a chance to call her until the evening. In the meantime she has set her status to "Men...Better best forgotten!" but I have no idea if that's about me or someone else. I try to call her but she doesn't answer. Later that evening I just send a BBM saying hi and hope she's had a good day etc. She doesn't come back to me. So the next day (Thursday 31st March) she doesn't call me in the morning, her status is something about having an argument at 7am in the morning. She doesn't msge or call me all day Thursday so in the evening, around 7pm I send a txt saying
"Hey, is everything ok I haven't heard from you in a bit, what's up? x"
She sends back this
"Hi, sorry about that. Everything was just moving too quick and I'm not ready to get serious with anyone at the mo. I just wanna be friends. Sorry if I led you on x"
I go back to her and say
"I'm bit disappointed thought it was going well but fair enough. You have my number, wish you all the best x"


And that's it. She hasn't come back to me. All of a sudden, out of the blue, she stopped calling me and sent me that txt message back. I don't get it, she was the one calling ME all the time, even in the mornings! She mentioned her friends/mum loving me etc and said she "loved the way I hold her face when I kiss her".

Anyone have any explanation or theories behind this? I'm baffled and it's really knocked my confidence. Is there anything I can do to salvage this at all? Or is just a case of move on and perhaps in the future she'll call?

Please help, I'm really lost at the moment.

Let's wait for more opinions from the other guys before you act I am not very experienced in relationships.

But my opinion is she may have something going on with an ex-bf.
You got tons of IOI's there so it means she is interested, most probably something happened along the way.

My suggestion, give her a month or so and then contact her again if she doesn't.

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Every man dies but not every man truly lives

That's kind of what I was thinking.

It's frustrating, I was doing really well, I actually like this girl too, she is hot but also has a great personality so I was pleased. Then all of a sudden it all goes downhill, I'm left with that text from her which just doesn't add up and then bam it's all quiet.

I haven't messaged or called since as I don't want to seem needy etc. But tbh I just don't get what happened here and would like to know if it's possible to salvage this, find out more etc. What would guys do? How would you guys approach it?

Damn man. You had the Buyer's Remorse!

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"If you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

One of mystery's many theories is called catstring theory, I think it applies really well here. The basic idea is that if you dangle a string in front of a cat it'll go ape shit over it, because it's interesting and hard to get. But as soon as the cat has the string, it's no longer interested and moves on to other things. You singing to her was something that stood out to me. I would have charged her a kiss first, or a drink, or just had fun seeing how far she'd go to do it. You just did it, so the string is limp. Also if she asked to reschedule, you just did it. Instead, dangle the string. Tell her you don't know when you'll be available. Give her a chance to miss you. Not too long or she'll move on, but call back in a day or two and tell her you have an opening next week, don't know when you're available again, etc. Take charge. Be the alpha male. The problem from what I see is that you gave up all your power.

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-Breeze

I totally agree with Breezey. I just wanted to add one thing. She cancelled on u alot, and ur responses were a bit AFC. I get the first cancel, cuz she might have been nervous about goin out with u for the first time, and u were not exactly in her inner group yet. The second cancel was legit too cuz of her father. But on the third cancel, I wouldnt have said it was no problem. If she can easily cancel on u, than that means ur not important enough.

This happened to one girl i had, where she started to cancel on me. I gave her a hard time for it. It improved my self worth and she never cancelled on me again

All girls are different tho, so i hope that helps.

Thanks for your help and yeah that does make sense.

What's really driven me crazy with this one is the fact that after our 2nd date, she was still calling me like normal the day after, the day after that she still called me in the morning and the day before she sent that txt she called me as normal too!