I need some serious help here guys. You see I get very anxious and over think problems which I am 99% sure relates to this problem and I really need some advice.

I just got out of a relationship with my ex for 4 1/2 years. We had sex all of the time. I've probably had sex with her over 200 times. I wasn't a machine but I could still pleasure her, maintain an erection and have a good experience. However, back when I was 17 when we first started dating I couldn't get an erection before intercourse. I could get it for anything else and finally after a few months of counselling and viagra to give me confidence I was able to function on a consistent basis.

Well, recently we broke up ( a very ugly depressing break up) and on two occasions with 2 different girls I lost an erection before intercourse.

Obviously once it happens you can't help but think about it the next time youre in a situation.

I read online it could be depression/guilt of hooking up after the breakup (my ex wants me out of her life) and it also could be performance anxiety and psyching yourself out from past experience.

I told the other chicks that it's because of the condom. They each gave me a bj and I didn't have a problem.

Now, I'm seeing this girl I really like and I want to sleep with her and I told her I don't want to right away because I want to wait. Which is bullcrap it's because I'm so scared I won't get it up and I'll embarass myself. The thought of having sex now tenses me up and gives me butterflies when I should be as confident as a pro.


I don't want to go back to a shrink or get viagra. It worked the past 4 years with this chick so I know it's all in my head but what can I do because now I have no confidence!

If you can maintain an erection with a BJ but not with sex it means you are confident in receiving sexual gratification but nervous about your ability to give it. Go down south and make sure your partner achieves orgasm pre-sex and it will take a lot of the burden off of your shoulders. Once you get into the habit it will probably start to just fade away with your anxiety.

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You can't forget about me, stupid. Everywhere I go ima have my own theme music.