| i just had an epitomy...
I wake up 5am, because i have a sore throat and a mild cold, which makes it hard to sleep. The benefit to this is that the dream I just had is very vivid in my mind. In this dream i dreamt, that i was dreaming (dont you love those dreams?). I dreamt that i was sharing a bed with this girl (spooning) and i was having very vivid dreams. Strange dream... But when i wake up (in real life, not the dream), the first thought that came to my mind was "isnt it strange how you tend to have more vivid dreams when you share the bed with someone..." Then I realized, thats not a bad line to get a girl to spoon with you, and thus get more intimate...
And then it hit me.
The reason WHY all of this failed, First off, not sure if i mentioned it, but i ended up staying at hers for 2 nights rather than 3, and separate. I had other things come up and what not. And i thought about how her behavior between those two nights was very different. On the second night, like i mentioned, she kept more distance, and little eye contact. However on the first night, she still kept little eye contact, but she always stayed next to me. And, she kept laying over, saying how she was so tired. This girl has told me before, how much she loves spooning. Now i was so hung up on the game the first night, so damn focused on following, the escalation ladded into sex and what not, that i DID NOT read her cues, and thus missed so big chances. On the second night it wouldnt matter what i did, because she was freezing me out, punishing me i guess you could say, for not giving her what she wanted. Thats the reason why she mentioned sex SO LOUDLY, but wouldnt let me escalate. She probably, would have slept with me, had i spooned with her. The way she asked to stay at hers, implied sex.
Now for why i choked, thats an easy one. Given the situation, the only way i could turn things around on the second day, was to steal a kiss (yes, i have k closed with her before, but that was a while back). But thats not quite my style. I basically tried this routine i read here (something i never do), where you tell her you have something to give her (appropriate bc of christmas), you have her hold her hand out and close her eyes, then you grab her hand and kiss her... now on paper, it sounds dandy and clever... but when you get down on it, this move is kinda AFC, at least for my tastes, not only that, but it puts a lot of pressure on the "what if she opens her eyes at the wrong time." Normally the frame i have for kissing and sex, is that the exp, is mutual, and this for of stealing a kiss, is idk... like a cheap gimmick, because giving gifts is supplicative imo, so it puts you in the wrong frame for the kiss. So the whole time, i had her with here eyes closed, this kept running in the back of my mind, and the fact that she was sitting, and i was standing, made it hard for me to act. She even called me on it and said, "i thought you dont give gifts to girls you are not dating," i replied, "well, if you dont want it, ill give it to someone else," i remember she told me "idk, its just... i dont like recieving gifts from others, even if it IS a small one..."
So..... Moral of the Story,
Dont get so hung up on game theory and do what feels natural, the first thought that comes to mind, just do it. If it blows up in your face, just do some damage report, or if its that bad, just fuck it, and move on. Remember the most important this is to capitalize on opportunities.
now for some manly inspirational quotes to prove my point:
"Hesitation creates gaps. Boldness obliterates them. Move swiftly and surely."
"Audacity separates you from the herd"
"Lions circle hesitant prey"
"Going halfway dig the deeper grave, DO NOT negotiate with your desires"
"The Bolder the Better"
in other words BE BOLD, these are all from 48 Laws of Power btw...
so now what i plan on doing, ill be seeing her, in a few hours actually, pretty sure shes still interested, so despite some bumps here and there i still have an op. I have learned through the years that the girls that send me a text on New Years (right at 12) are the ones who are most interested, and the ones who send you a quirky "happy new years" on facebook, are the shy ones, or the ones who are just interested. Anyways, normally i walk home with her every once in a while during lunch, and after work. Not always, but if im up for it i do. Here in Spain, we do the goodbye, kiss, kiss thing... So I'll just steal a kiss that way, it always sends tehm for a loop, because, even though its been done, (im sure it has). Its never expected. If she reacts negatively (which i doubt), then ill freeze her out... No big
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"Be the change you wanna see in the world" -Gandhi
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CHAT
