(The big part is a summary of where I've been. Read if you'd like, but I have a question at the bottom, denoted under the TL/DR disclaimer. Thanks guys)

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Shying away from the terminology, to put it simply.

I went out. I saw many many awesome sights, night and day. I've seen the common. I've seen the uncommon. I've seen the somewhat disturbing, the taboo, the field in it's entirety.

I've seen the women. I've even been hit on by women without me saying a word. I've had some possibly drunk girl rub her hands through my hair, start to make out with me, and try to bang me right then and there. (In that situation, I choked, froze, and didn't know what to do).

...each and every time, I didn't even reciprocate. They were offering themselves to me, and I was too scared and insecure to even jump on the opportunity.

I've found out who I am through these experiences.


I am a full blown "nerd", so to speak. I love video games, house music, cars, urban fashion, art, architecture, and anything involving creativity and heritage.

...when I interact with most other people, a good majority (not everyone, as I've come to know like-minded people that are good people)...are lost. They only focus on Football, and pop culture, and who did what, and talking shit. (I've overheard many conversations.



When talking to women, sadly, in my case, I need to carry a conversation.

I hate...no...dislike conversations. I dislike social interaction. For the most part, I dislike most people, because to me, most people come across as stupid and ignorant to me.

I'm a quiet guy. I'm low key. I speak only when necessary, and I find that the more someone talks, the stupider they are. I may be wrong...but I've grown to become this sullen.


I'm not sure whether it's them or me. In the past, I blamed them. Then, I blamed myself. The end message was...who gives a rat's ass? There are rules to play by, and you gotta play by them. If not, you don't get. Simple.




...I've lied to myself one too many times. I've put this PUA stuff into use, only to have it work for 5 minutes, before I run out of steam. The girl doesn't care (If the moment is good, you can be as fake as you want...), but, the one problem with being fake...is consistency.

You gotta be yourself. What IS being yourself?

...that's something I cannot define for you, as we're all different. For me, I prefer to be quiet and stay low key. For you, you may be more outgoing, or totally different. Whatever comes naturally to you is what you should cultivate and build upon. Otherwise, while you may win some battles here and there, you'll lose the war.




TL/DR: Where I've been past 4 months.

Now, a question: I am no natural. As of now, I am an AFC, whole blown honesty. I have buried my ego, and am willing to listen to those who have what I seek to gain. I am now fully teachable.

What do I do from here? What can I read? What actions can I take?