When I would meet a girl I was highly attracted to i would automatically go into this "be cool" mode and say nothing to afraid to make a mistake. Over the years I've learned to relax more and just be a energetic and a funny guy like i am with my friends BUT then doing that to much usually put me in the friend zone with the girl. This is because i had trouble moving to the seductve mode because these girls always see it coming or sense and i blow the whole thing. I know i have some things to work on and i am working on it but for now see if u can give me some pointers.

SO.. now im all screwed up and caught in the middle of both modes. And i find myself not being so energetic and funny. I instead now come off not like an asshole but the opposite of a gentlemen if that makes any sense. I basically jump through no hoops but do a little extra then that. i ask them to jump through my hoops quite a bit. i even sometimes feel like the girl in the whole thing because of how much shit i ask of them or let them know i expect of them.

the other day i asked a girl to bring me something and she responded
"what? I'm a girl, that's the gentlemen's job not mine. lol sorry".

I've been getting a lot of this happening and not sure how to respond to it. i always go with two ways. the smart remark which keeps my value high but ruins our chemistry OR the agreeing with them and kinda looking like a dumbass...

Any Ideas?

lol women weren't put on this earth to be our slaves... as much as it kills me to say it lol... but seriously they weren't...

you say that you dont jump through their hoops but make them jump through yours? i dont believe thats the right way to go about it... ill jump through their hoop only... and only if they've previously jumped through my hoop... eg...

(my hoop)
Me: "hey can you hold my drink for a second while i go to the toilet"
Her: "yeh sure "

(her hoop)
Her: "can you please watch my bag while i go to the toilet"
Me: "yeh no worries just place it on the table and ill make sure no one steals it "

you must give to get...

i know they are basic examples of hoops but try to make her jump through one of your hoops before you jump through her hoop...

and yeh you're thinking too much about trying to act cool and funny... just be the person you are... dont change your personallity depending on how attractive the woman is... she'll see straight through you and you'll come off as a "try hard"

hope that helps

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A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

hey man, yeah it really does help. thanks a lot i had forgotten about that whole thing I don't even remember who taught it lol but great stuff, ill be sure to try it and act as who I am!

Compliance Ladder

It depends on the contect though, I mean, If a girl's going to the bar you could say "get me a water while you're there, sweetie" but if you're sat in the class room and say "hey, can you go outside and get my a coffee?" when she wasn't even going out to get one for herself, she'd be a total tool to agree or completely drooling over you

First off, being "cool" doesn't mean not talking at all, it means being unreactive, and not feeling the need to talk and talk to win people's validation.

Secondly, you went to far one way, and then too far the other, so now just balance it out. You can still be funny and high energy, but just mix that up with also kino escalating with push-pull, turning conversations sexual, holding seductive eye contact, and so forth.

Finally, Kalgera is right - you have to work your way up the compliance ladder just like the kino ladder. You can't open and then touch a girl's boobs immediately. In the same way, you have to do little things and test her compliance with moving her around, asking her to hold your drink, etc. before asking larger things like isolating or extracting.

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