Here's me being the worst AFC possible.


To make a short story. Met a girl a few years ago, we chatted alot online and I saw her at her job a few times, seemed very shy. I wanted to take things further but it appeared she did not. We lost contact for 3 years. She contacts me again a few weeks ago on facebook and we start chatting, remembering the good old time, she basically says she was in love with me at the time but young and stupid.

Then we start talking again, on msn, Everyday, she texts me also, she wants to see me on my webcam all the time and stays there looking at me until she basically falls asleep and appears jealous and possessive about my other girl friends. If I'm not online when she gets home she would text me asking where I am. The thing is, she has a boyfriend she says she's not really in love with, he lives 3 hours away and she's thinking about breaking up.

She's a very hot girl, a model actually. And surely but slowly I develop a serious case of oneitis. I've had 3 of those in my life and everytime it's been a nightmare. Maybe you can read my other posts about one other case haha, pathetic.

So basically at some point she says she doesn't want me falling for her while she has a boyfriend, so I decide to stop talking to her until she sorts things out. I made it clear that if she wanted to stay with her boyfriend we could stay friends and it was cool, but told her I liked her alot and had feelings for her and couldn't continue this little game.

A few days later she texts me, saying that she broke up with her boyfriend but doesn't want to get engaged in another relationship anytime soon. I take this like an AFC saying that I can't take it anymore because I'm in love with her and a whole bunch of AFC shit I should've never said, acting like a pussy because she's not all over me.

Then I apologized for my hissy fit. She said she understood. Few days later I invite her for a drink the same night, she agrees. Texts me a few hours before saying how she can't wait to see me. We meet, I usually am very confident and funny, but I was very disapointed in myself and knew what impression I had given her so I was intimidated and more introverted than usual. We went back to my place and she was laying on my bed she kept looking at me and hiding her face in my pillow. At some point I laid next to her and held her hand but was fucking afraid of making a move by fear of rejection. I told myself ''It's way too quick, she's going to flip out, take it easy''. She left saying that she wanted to see me again. She texted me 2-3 times after she left saying she was home and good night stuff.

Next day I text her in the middle of the day asking when we could hang out again. (Mistake I know) She says she's busy this week but very soon.

I FUCKING FLIP OUT AGAIN

Saying how I was in love with her and that I thought she wasn't feeling the same and it was best if she leaved me alone and what not.

Basically I acted like a fucking AFC the whole time.

Then I had a good honest talk with her, trying to explain why I acted the way I did, and basically asking to go back from the start with her, and she agreed.

We are today, and for the last few days she's been evasive, talked to me once or twice over facebook on msn, it seems like not everything is lost but I need to make a move for my life or forget about it.

I know the girl was very into me from the start. I also know that she's a very very pretty girl (She's a model) , gets alot of attention from other guys.

What do I do? Freeze-out? Invite her again and try to keep my composure.

I know I fucked up so many times I should move on but still I like this girl and I know she likes me.


Thanks to those who took the time to read, feels good to take this off my chest!

Sometimes the best move is no move at all.

I don't want to put you down further, but it's critical you understand that confessing you like/love her is very often a fatal mistake.

To save face in this situation, I would suggest you not call/text/facebook her until she calls/texts/facebooks you. When she does, you wait it out a while before responding.

In the case of a call, text her back after 3-4 hours saying "you called?"
In the case of a text, text her back a response after 3-4 hours.
In the case of a message on facebook, message her back after 2-3 days.

In any case, your response should be SHORT. And if you're on MSN, put her on "appear offline" until she contacts you.

-Roz

Will do.

I'm such an idiot.

Any other input?

Didn't talk to her for two days, It's very very hard haha.

She came to talk to me online a few minutes ago.

She's in a model/promotion agency and I just got signed for the very same agency.

She has a gig next week and she told me they needed a guy, and that she immediately thought about me when she saw they still needed one guy.

I told her I didn't really care that much about contracts right now, that if they needed me they could call.

I also playfully told her something among the lines of :

''You miss me that much? It's flattering. Wouldn't want to be stuck working with you though''