When I first started this (1,5 years ago), I had literally nothing. Fat, short, bald nerd. I've come a long way since then, and still have light years to go.

I improved my fashion, got fit, I work out, take dance lessons, I've changed my posture, my voice, the way I think and see the world...

I've become relatively good at night game with cold approaches and I clearly see my technical SPs there and I know I'll improve.

Also, I became social guy, which I never was. I am great with girls from college, or any situation where I have warm approach.

I've met many guys from community and I can tell right away who's got game. I have wings to sarge with, I have LTRs. I even have this one girl chasing me thinking I'm a model. lol (i look like Style)

I know where I need to go...

...and still...

IN MY HEAD I OFTEN FEEL LIKE THAT AFC I USED TO BE

I know there is this turbulence factor and you can't change on a deep level over night and I hope success will get me there. I often seek validation in those dark moments, as you can see.

There are other elements to my personality that are missing and I'm not sure how to add them. For instance, I am terrified of day game. I can't make myself talk to random girls in those situations. Last night, I was alone with a girl on bus station, I couldn't make myself open her. I just came from running and there were these two gorgeous girls and still nothing. I lose sets like this every single day and that really fucks me up. When I was total AFC I had these two peaks. I was either deeply depressed or on top of the world and I still can't let go of this. I would really like to get into the approach machine mode and something's stopping me.

Is it just "byte the bullet" and go in or something else? Cause I know when I first started cold approach it was byte the bullet and I had to go through the pain period. And now, I make stupid rationalizations like "I would open her in the club, but not here." What's the fucking difference?! There is this great quote from Style "Once you get initial successes, work even harder."

I probably need someone to slap me and push me in the daygame set.
"Haaaave you met Ted?"

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I have to return some videotapes...