Quote:
when i say reference experience, i mean go out (to where no one knows you)
and do weird shit that takes some guts. Brad P has a whole system of exercises
built around exercises that build "social freedom." I highly suggest looking those
up and DOING THEM. Its stuff like talking to strangers, dancing in public, etc.
This is good advice.
I also have this issue - judging myself harshly, probably much more harshly than anyone else around me. I'd berate myself for something I did or said that was dumb. The only thing I can say that reliably makes this feeling disappear is sort of an intangible "zone" that I get in with others. It's the conversational equivalent to an athlete's zone where they just act with complete intuition, speed, grace, etc. It happens with a bit of practice and good group chemistry.
If I'm really down on myself, I also found to get around this is to get validation back from others (in a subtle way - not overtly). If you're out with a group having a blast, as them if they're having a good time. When they say yes, you can remind yourself that YOU'RE responsible for helping them have a good time. It's a good feeling. Just don't go around seeking validation from everyone and everything or you'll just come off as needy and weak.
Make a point of avoiding caustic people who are overtly rude or just act out in a nasty way. If your self-confidence is already shaky, an idiot like this can give it a crushing blow and it might be completely unintentional.