I'll answer this by quoting Captain Jack and one of his more recent blog posts. Basically it takes practice. Flirting is a skill and so is many of the other things you have to learn.
Do the Drills to Get the Skills
Damn,
I still hate to see it. Seems like every couple of weeks I get a guy who emails me about my “stuff” and asking if it can help him.
He rattles off all the stuff he’s done previously… product after product, guru after guru. He’s desperate… he just wants to be able to have a normal sex life. “Please help?!”
A quick question shows THE problem… “How many sets do you open per night? How many nights do you go out to practice? Do you have a Plan?”
Usually, silence follows or some excuse.
If any of you are stuck in this pattern let me put it to you this way… More knowledge, a different style, better routines WILL NOT help. You’ve got to do the drills to get the skills. You already know enough.
Look at every piece of pick-up data as an INPUT to a skill that you are going to drill.
Making eye contact is a skill.
Opening is a skill.
Moving a set or a girl is a skill. (Promenading is the best version of this).
TimeBridging is a skill (maybe the second most important one).
Push/Pull is a skill.
You need to design drills for each one and do the drills. When you run into trouble it’s ALMOST NEVER the CONTENT of the communication, it is almost always the timing or structure (sometimes the delivery).
When is the last time you said, “Tonight, I am going to promenade 2 girls. Here’s how I’m going to do it… Right after I run the Best Friends Test I’m going to say, ‘Hey, you two are awesome… let’s go meet my friends.’ Then, I’ll put my arms out and motion for them to hook elbows with me.”
(I used to have a saying that if you promenaded 3 girls in a venue you were pretty much guaranteed to get laid. That was based on personal experience!!!)
Drills Give You Control
The reason you want to do drills is because it gives you CONTROL.
Control Includes the ability to start a process, modify it in action and then stop it at will.
Unless you have tangible drills set up your only hope would be to do so much work that you get it at an unconscious level. (If you ever do).
Athletes have drills because it gives them finer control of the processes in the game that increase their chances of winning!
One thing that I have ultimate respect to both El Topo and Sinn for is their ability to get themselves to do crazy shit.
El Topo talks about Sexually Transmitted Diseases in set and I’ve seen Sinn run Huge Cock Game for almost 10 minutes straight to a bitchy 2set. He’d often finally blow them out by saying, “So, I guess a blowjob is out of the question?”
Those are crazy drills!
I don’t know why they did it (I’m guessing pure amusement had a lot to do with it) but the result is they got control over spinning a set wildly out and then recovering. I used to completely stop talking in a set and wait for them to re-initiate. Then, I’d give one word answers. When I could sense they were about to leave I’d extrovert again and talk more. This data helped each of us with calibration in the future. I’m sure both of them can see if a set is starting to drift and can easily put it back on track. (Their track record proves it.)
Where to Start?!
That depends on you of course. You start with a little bit back of where you are… If you are decent at opening and holding a set then commit to getting finite control over that AND THEN the very next smallest thing in the process. In my eyes, that would be shifting to let the Target and the rest of the set know you are interested in her without the shadow of a doubt.
If you can do that then I’d say intro’ing a Sexual Frame is next.
This is a game of having control over social interactions by having control over yourself in executing the processes that we have empirically proven add up to sexual relationships.
You gotta do the drills to get the skills!
Captain Jack
www.betheseducer.com
CHAT