heres my problem, i used to be good at talking to girls and hooking up w/ them in high school, then i came to college and comlicated fucking everything. now i dont know what i'm doing. i'm always worrying about being nice b/c i dont want to look like a pussy or a pushover, then when that happends i end up being a dick, and feel like i distance myself from women, b/c when i do that i dont get much reciprocation on their part. so what should i do? i am a genuinely nice person but i dont show it b/c i think they wont look at me as a man enough. what do u guys think, i really struggle with this

It sounds like your cocky/funny is not calibrated enough. I would follow mystery's advice and always thrown in calibrators if you come on looking like an asshole.

The way this works is you can still say cocky and borderline arrogant things, but don't wait for the response and fire right into the next thread. If you wait for a response you will get called on it.

You can also try saying something that's sort of like a neg like: "I really think i am going to hate talking to you" and then immediately calibrate with something like "too bad you're so interesting/cute". Watch for the reaction and if you need you might have to calibrate again with something like "OK, that's it you need to stop talking to me".

Also it might be that you create attraction fairly quickly and then if you keep using that cocky/funny talk, they just might see you as an asshole, when you need to be in rapport.
Remember for College game, it's much easier, you don't need too much negging, cocky/funny, you don't need harsh disqualifiers, i sometimes find that i don't need disqualifiers at all, because you may have other reasons to talk to them. You need a lot of rapport building and generally things happen at a very slow pace, after all you have a whole semester, possibly more where you keep runnign into each other.

Nice guy vs. jerk is a false dichotomy perpetuated by women who attempt to comfort guys they reject by saying "... but you're a nice guy!" The reason she wasn't attracted to him didn't have anything to do with him being nice or a dick--it was girl code for "Be a man!"

It is very possible to have a strong sense of reality and be true to your core values while being "nice" for all practical purposes. Like so many other things, it comes down to the intent behind your actions.

Typical candy-ass "nice guys" are usually only nice because they are doing what they think she wants rather than being true to themselves. Conversely, there are guys who are actually nice people, like myself, who simply own who they are and are capable of being kind without becoming a doormat.

It sounds like that's who you are, so why are you pretending to be this other guy? Quit looking for what "works" and seek out (and be true to) yourself. You might just find both.

Your boy,
870

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yea thx that clear some shit up 870, i am nice, but i'm not like nice to the point where i'm gunna be like a girls bitch, i just say nice things and do nice things, my intent is always to get w/ them. but lately i've been tryin to be the dick/cocky dude, and its not working out for me AT ALL

870 nailed it if you try to be someone else you won't progress be yourself and you will. Sometimes I am a fucking asshole (it's my natural state), sometimes I have no interest in sex and spend the night boosting women's self-esteem because I can.
At the end of the day it's all me so works, if I tried being someone else game-wise it wouldn't (I have tried)

Sly,

It sounds like you are like a lot of other guys on this site. The reason I like this site so much is because people are willing to share their triumphs and failures for the betterment of the group.

I think the last statement is so important because you can find yourself in everyone else's experiences. When I asked him how he found his own style, poet Mark Doty told me "I read everyone else's and did what I liked." It is the same way with the pickup scene.

A friend I have made on the site who is new to The Game told me that he tried out several of the routines that he liked on diferent women to find out what worked. He had successes and failures, and overall has been very happy with the experience. You will always enjoy yourself more when your game is in congruence with your thoughts, feelings, and morals.

The other piece of advice I would say has been very helpful is that you should never settle when choosing which set or girl to open up. Go for the HB 9s and 10s, because there is more to be learned from a girl who will make amazing arm candy or call you on your shit than a 7 or a group of 6s who will take the male attention no matter what. Find who you are, and be kind enough to share who you are with the hottest ladies in the club. It is always worth it.

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Jockin Jay-Z (Travis Barker Remix) --Jay-Z
S.C.O.M --Juelz Santana ft. Fort Minor
Troublemaker --Weezer
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Blind Man --Black Stone Cherry
(suggestions welcome)

ya i always seem to have this problem too

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-practice makes perfect! don't be afraid to take gambles in life

I actually disagree with "be who you are" "be yourself" I mean yeah to a limit for sure but if you act the way you always do and do what you've always done you'll get what youve always gotten. I think in the beginning you need to step out of character for anyone thats read the Game there's a reason for alias "Mystery" "Style" its their alter ego to be outside themselves. Its only after you've pulled the girl and attracted go back to who you are. Im not saying dont be yourself at all but be your best aspects of your self in the beginning.

WHOAAAAAAAA

Best god dammed post on the subject.

Congrats 870

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