Managing expectations



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A Sticking Point or SP is an issue you CONSISTENTLY run into.

It is NOT a point where you get stuck with ONE SPECIFIC GIRL.

A Sticking Point is:
Quote:
I keep getting LMR whenever I bring girls back to my place. This has happened at least 10 times already! What am I doing wrong?
A Sticking Point is NOT:
Quote:
I got LMR with this one girl! What do I do?
IT IS AGAINST THIS BOARD'S RULES TO POST THREADS ABOUT JUST ONE GIRL
If you have not already gone out and practiced enough to have a real Sticking Point from meeting an ABUNDANCE of women, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO POST HERE.



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 Post subject: Managing expectations
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:56 pm 
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Hey Everybody,

I need some real advice and techniques on how to deal with managing my expectations.

Everytime I start gaming a girl that I'm honestly attracted to I start thinking about what it would be like if were together, If we had sex, if she was my girlfriend ect..

Most of the time this doesn't start happening till im in A3-C1 phase of mystery method and it ends up completely throwing off my game because I end up showing to much interest or end up caring to much about the target before we have even had sex or even kissed.

One of the really bad parts of this is that I dont end up with the girl and as a result It ruins my state of mind because I built this idea up in my head of me and the target going out together, having sex, ect.. and then she flakes on me or just losses interest.Which causes me a lot of emotional pain, which I hate

Any help on this issue would be great because even though I'm completely aware that I do this and the pain it causes me I still cant seem to correct my self and Trying to think my way out of it or ignore my impulse to fantasize about us hooking up doesn't work.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 10:17 am 
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In my view you are experiencing these emotions because you haven't broken free from the scarcity paradigm just yet.

When you realize there is a neverending abundance of women who would love to hang out with you, you immediately lose the sense of fixation on any one woman because you implicitly understand that there is no end to the amount of women who would be into you if given the chance to know you.

Coming to know this can cause you to immediately cease imagining these things because you know that it's normal for girls to be into you and it's normal for you to date them, chill with them and see where things go naturally.

Remember you are valuable and girls have to win your attention, just as you have to win theirs.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2017 6:14 pm 
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I have no idea what that mystery method phase is, however this is a common probably because guys of a lower level fall in love with their eyes, instead of what they can prove. You need a mindset switch that can occur naturally through trail and error of you seeing this happen over and over, or one that you deliberately induce through correcting your thoughts over and over for months until the new ones stick.

The frame you need to be coming from is.. " I want to like you, but I don't know you."

Imagine one of these women you were really into and were getting along with suddenly told you that she had aids. Would you feel the same way about her? Of course not. The reality with immediately conflict with your emotions. Because the emotions are generated by this perfect unrealistic image you have generated about the person in your head. So.. How do you know that the women you're talking to doesn't have aids? Doesn't eat her boogers? Doesn't keep a dirty home? Or sleep with her dog? How do you know? You DON'T. And until you know, you shouldn't be so foolish as to allow yourself to develop clingy emotions about someone you don't know.

Get some standards outside of looks, and figure out whether or not the woman you're talking to actually meets your standards.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:26 pm 
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Thank you guys soooo much! After readying your comment on the scarcity mindset i looked it up and immediately and realized that's exactly what I have. I'm so happy I know this now and can break free from this bad habit and mindset and improve my game.

Also I agree that I'm focusing to much on looks instead of who the girl is as a person. Sharping my view on what exactly I want in a girl as a person and most importantly what I don't want and wont tolerate in a girl will help me out a lot.

Iv been working on changing my mindset for the past few days and I can already feel and see the difference and will continue to train this new mindset. Thanks!


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:22 am 
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"Thekid69"]Thank you guys soooo much! After readying your comment on the scarcity mindset i looked it up and immediately and realized that's exactly what I have. I'm so happy I know this now and can break free from this bad habit and mindset and improve my game.

Also I agree that I'm focusing to much on looks instead of who the girl is as a person. Sharping my view on what exactly I want in a girl as a person and most importantly what I don't want and wont tolerate in a girl will help me out a lot.

Iv been working on changing my mindset for the past few days and I can already feel and see the difference and will continue to train this new mindset. Thanks![/quote][/color]

man i love to see someone wrote this,instead of replying with but it"s hard,i cant etc


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:05 am 
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Quote:
The frame you need to be coming from is.. " I want to like you, but I don't know you."
THIS.
Quote:
man i love to see someone wrote this,instead of replying with but it"s hard,i cant etc
Me too :D


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:58 pm 
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Quote:
Hey Everybody,

I need some real advice and techniques on how to deal with managing my expectations.

Everytime I start gaming a girl that I'm honestly attracted to I start thinking about what it would be like if were together, If we had sex, if she was my girlfriend ect..

Most of the time this doesn't start happening till im in A3-C1 phase of mystery method and it ends up completely throwing off my game because I end up showing to much interest or end up caring to much about the target before we have even had sex or even kissed.

One of the really bad parts of this is that I dont end up with the girl and as a result It ruins my state of mind because I built this idea up in my head of me and the target going out together, having sex, ect.. and then she flakes on me or just losses interest.Which causes me a lot of emotional pain, which I hate

Any help on this issue would be great because even though I'm completely aware that I do this and the pain it causes me I still cant seem to correct my self and Trying to think my way out of it or ignore my impulse to fantasize about us hooking up doesn't work.


Mayyyynneeee... where the fuck do I start? "A3-C1 phase".... "Target".... come on man, this isn't 2005 anymore. You sound like a robotic nerd living in his mom's basement who thinks that bedding women is like an algebra equation. Seriously, you come off like that. I can see why women would want to run away...
And I am trying to give you a bit of a slap in the face, in order to wake you up. This whole 'phasing things out in little micro steps' doesn't really work. You need to become way more natural and human. That's your first problem, you're coming off like this dude who can't be himself and needs to map out the process of going from 0-fucking her. You need to be yourself, to an extent. You can't pretend to be some other guy. That's how you're coming off.

Now secondly, on another deeper issue, you sound like you're needing these women in order to fulfill some hole you're missing in your life. The fact that you would start thinking so far into the future when you barely know these women and envision them being your girlfriend, etc, tells me you're using these women in order to fill a hole in your life that no woman can ever fill. Trust me, I've tried. This hole can only be filled by handling your life and making yourself happy. If you're not happy, you won't get the 'target'. And don't call women targets man, it just reeks of nerdy perverts scheming to get women. They're women and you want to fuck them, like a caveman. Be in that mindset. And to your other point about 'pretending' you don't want to fuck them, no, you should absolutely want it and be in touch with that desire. Trying to pretend something isn't true in order to get a girl is the definition of a 'wussy', as David D used to say. However, if all you ever think about is fucking girls, then, it's a sign that you have a hole in your life that sex or women won't ever fill. I've been with 90 girls and I'm 26, trust me, I know.

Thirdly, you have trouble connecting with women. You need to focus more on that. It's nice to be able to bust out some routines and 'create' attraction, but honestly, it's all about connection. Connection is truly the determinant of wether you end up fucking her or not at the end of the day. Women crave connection. And in order to do that, you're going to have to come off more natural and less robotic. Get to know them and treat them more like people rather than robots. By being able to connect with a girl effectively while still flirting and using keno, you can sleep with a woman very, very soon. It's how seducers do it. Be a seducer, not a pick up artist.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:33 am 
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TheLoveDr may only have 13 posts but each one that I've seen are absolutely spot fucking on.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 2:21 am 
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Quote:
In my view you are experiencing these emotions because you haven't broken free from the scarcity paradigm just yet.
100%.
Quote:
Coming to know this can cause you to immediately cease imagining these things because you know that it's normal for girls to be into you and it's normal for you to date them, chill with them and see where things go naturally.

Remember you are valuable and girls have to win your attention, just as you have to win theirs.

100%.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:29 pm 
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Quote:
TheLoveDr may only have 13 posts but each one that I've seen are absolutely spot fucking on.
Thank you, brother.


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