This has been happening to me a lot lately, and I'm wondering if you guys have seen this..

IT'S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY BECAUSE EVERY GIRL IS DOING IT EXACTLY THE SAME WAY!!!!!

1. You schedule a first date with a girl. All is well; you're looking forward to meeting her and getting to know her.

2. She cancels on you either same-day, or at-worst (my case every time) within an hour of your date.

3. You play it off as cool and no problem. You've got other stuff to do and groups of people fiending for your attention, as a real man should....right? Aren't you that guy in high school holding a stack of year books given to you by mostly hot girls to sign?

4. You text her a day later about a reschedule. No response, although, when you were texting, you would hear back immediately.

5. You give it a day or so; (she may be busy!), still hear nothing, then txt her if everything' alright. (no response)

6. A day or so later you send a "cutting all ties" type message. (eg. "That's a pretty crappy way to treat people; if you weren't interested or suddenly weren't feeling it, you simply could've said so, rather than cancelling within the hour (when I cancelled and moved lots of stuff around just to meet up with you), then disappearing and not even giving a reschedule the time of day.))

7. IMMEDIATELY AFTER, I mean 5 minutes later, you get from the girl "Wow! My phone has been dead for a week, and I just now got all of your messages all at the same time! You've got issues!"

BULL FUCKING SHIT!!! No reasonably attractive girl has a cell phone dead for a week. She's got her mom calling her, sisters, cousins, girlfriends, orbiters...

One girl I had asked for a reschedule by txt, got no response, so deleted the conversation from my iPhone.

I then sent the write-off message through the dating site, with the caveat:

"And I'm 99% sure you're going to write back with a 'wow..phone dead...just now got everything...you've got issues', etc. etc.

Well, five minutes later, I get by txt: "How does Wednesday or Friday evening work for you?" followed by an immediate: "Oh wait, I just saw your message on the dating site; I didn't know this was an urgent reschedule. Best of luck!"

Guys, this kind of shit makes me want to bash my fucking head against the wall!!!

"Oh yeah, she would've txted you about that reschedule; you were just impatient." Are you shitting me??!!

Have you guys seen girls do this too?

I'm getting the idea that from a female perspective, I would hear, "Well, I was too much of a coward to tell him that I didn't want to invite him into my life, so I just decided to disappear.

Sure he followed up, but I could always fall back on out-of-town aunt's illness; what I was really waiting for was that angry txt that gave me cause to shut the door, then I could say:

'Wow [I'm a hot girl and] my phone has been dead for two weeks and just got it fixed, and also just saw all of your messages right now (two minutes after you sent the angry one). You've got issues. You shouldn't be with a girl, etc etc.'"

That's plausible deniability if I ever heard of it....

Seen this before? -- Because I want to take a sledge hammer to my head over this shit!!!

_________________
Http://Dating-Musings.com

It's called "FLAKING".

Not uncommon at all.

Build more comfort.

Get her to invest more.

Girls flake on you because you are not attractive enough for them.....yet.

Could be, really retarded text game, or lack of comfort.

More attraction needs to be built in advance.

Women respond to emotion, attraction is an emotion, just like anger.

See how when you pissed them off how quickly they replied?

You need to elicit positive emotions.

Like Interest.

Interest inspires fascination, and curiosity.

Interest and curiosity makes them wet, and leaves them wanting more.

Also Humor. Ditch the anger and make the laugh.

Mystery, women are drawn to it like a moth to a light. Deep within them is a curiosity of all the possibilities that exist.

A women that is attracted to you, will sleep in front of your house in the cold waiting for a chance to be with you.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

As heywood said. Try calling them on the phone prior to the date and chat for a while. Get an idea of whether she is interested or just bullshitting.

Well... Let's change what you are doing then.
Stop scheduling dates so far in advance. Honestly, the more spontaneous, the better.

This way... You don't get all excited. And she doesn't have the opportunity to cancel.

Now, most guys say to me "But Jay... what if she has other plans already?"

She probably will. But you've gotta learn how to be persuasive and get her to break them. That, my friend, is an art form.
It really should be no big deal. Because as "that guy" you should have a couple other girls lined up right behind her. If that's not the story... make that the story.
Again... stop trying to schedule everything. You don't do this with your friends...

"Hey bro, what are you doing?

"Not shit. Just chilling at my house. Come by."

"Cool. Be there in 30."

It can be that simple if you make it that simple. Stop trying to be gamey.
Stop putting yourself in this situation. Stop trying to plan dates.

6. A day or so later you send a "cutting all ties" type message. (eg. "That's a pretty crappy way to treat people; if you weren't interested or suddenly weren't feeling it, you simply could've said so, rather than cancelling within the hour (when I cancelled and moved lots of stuff around just to meet up with you), then disappearing and not even giving a reschedule the time of day.))
Heres the deal... by giving off the initial image of a player... then trying to set a date a few days or a week in advance or whatever... That's whats called "incongruence." Meaning you said one thing... did another.

The girl saw that. So she "tested" you. Not a shit test. Just a test to see if you'd snap like that. She wants to see if you're gonna be cool or you're gonna act insecure.
There's the insecurity.
Stop doing this.
No need to do that. You just need some help lol
Has nothing to do with impatience. It's your insecurity.
I have. Girls don't like a guy who's insecure. The opposite of insecure is confident. Be confident in yourself that you're a cool enough guy that a girl will call off work just to drive an hour to come see you. Act that way. She'll react to the type of guy that you are.
She probably thought you would freak out on her... Just like you did. Atleast if she just cuts you off, there is a chance that you won't flip the fuck out.
It's not the girls. It's you. Change your behavior and people will behave differently towards you. Don't be bitter.

I've gotta revive this thread for a minute because of some stuff that's happened recently, and I tried it recently.

This has got to be by far the most assanine advice I've ever heard, and a like one other supposed "PUA" suggested this too.

You've got to wonder if these guys are theoretical little virgins or have never tried to get a date with a girl in their lives.

You try waiting until Thursday night, then saying, "Hey, let's do something tomorrow night!"

What do you think is going to happen?

She'll be like (and have only EVER been with me) "I'm doing stuff with friends tomorrow and this weekend.

A natural buddy of mine who's taller than me, looks better than me and has better game even doesn't do this because when he's tried, he's gotten the same shit.

What a crock!!

_________________
Http://Dating-Musings.com

lol get better at persuading people to do things.

Sure, she's probably already got plans. But girls are really flakey... there's no reason you can't be the guy she's flaking on everyone else for. Be a cooler guy.

I totally understand your frustration, i dont think any man hasnt experienced this. If you are really stuck with this and cant figure it out, maybe the only thing you can do is ask. Ask one of the girls about it. You may think this is a really pussy thing to do and not how a man would act, but who cares, youve already lost them so why not learn from them for self improvement.

So next time this happens, maybe wait a few days, give them a call or an email and just politely ask

What is the truth about why they ignored you

What did you do wrong

What did you do right

What could you have done better


Again, im probably gonna get bashed for this advice, but I did it once and it was really helpful. So maybe just swallow your pride and get it over with.

I would normally say fine give this a go, but the problem is you know what you get? Nothing!

They simply don't even respond to tell you why they disappeared on you; after all just think about it if they disappeared on you, that also probably applies to answer your questions about why they disappeared.

You simply get nothing.

In the very least if a girl does get back to you it's often something like "sorry, I thought you were a nice guy but just didn't see you that way", or "sorry, just didn't feel the chemistry"

How to fix that for next time is about as clear as mud.

_________________
Http://Dating-Musings.com

I actually strongly disagree with a lot of the statements on this thread.

Asking "what you did wrong" will elicit 0 responses. In fact, it's quite possible that the women themselves can't explain why they haven't responded.

Trying to secure an insta-date (especially from online dating) is also not the best idea - it IS possible, but only when the girl is already hot for you.


The first reply, however, was the best.

COMFORT.

I'm assuming that most of these chicks are ones you've picked up online OR you've spent limited time with, such as just a few minutes. (Tell me if I'm right or wrong)

I myself had this similar sticking point last year - loads of girls, a few phone numbers, but then they'd go silent shortly after talking or when I suggested a meetup.

COMFORT.

You actually have to spend a bit more time getting to know these chicks IF you sense they are not yet DTF. That means messaging them a couple extra times with INTERESTING and EXCITING convo, Placing NON NEEDY yet interesting comments on their pictures, and adding them to your facebook/twitter/social networks.

HOWEVER, if she shows a great interest right away, then you can escalate quickly, and get a meet.

It's something you'll have to judge for yourself.

I've scored SEVERAL women from online sites that took weeks or even months to "warm up" before they met.

But when we did meet, we had already decided what was going down.

Resist the urge to RUSH the process with girls you meet online or you haven't built enough comfort with. But when they do indicate that they are interested in meeting, go for the kill.