Hey guys, I have been sarging for 3 weeks now, so 30 min ago I have approached 4 sets in my public kitchen at uni campus. With one set I started with 2 girls introduced myself ... did a best friend test (DHV) it did not come off as good as usual for some reason(more like DLV)... one girl asked me where I am from ... I said guess .. she was like I dont know .. I said hint biggest country in the world ..so she guessed .. I asked what courses they did ... they answered Bussiness so I said oh no I cannot talk 2 u anymore one of them looked at me said ok bye, another one asked why I said one of the girls I dated was doing bussiness(thats true btw).. she started asking her name .... and then it just felt like all my further questions were to pull the attention (which I know I am supposed to not care about the outcome) ... but I just run out of things to say and hence cannot lead the conversation ... and girls literally lock me out and go on speaking about there staff ... and I just stand there like an idiot looking at them ...not having much to say........Next set exactly same thing I open I do a routine sometimes it fails sometimes not ... then a couple of standard questions and thats it I am out..... bcz its as if I stand there being a third wheel ..... Its my first time posting on any forum so hopefully this wont get flagged as not S.P. Any advice is appreciated....(Even if you gonna tell me I am a total AFC )

Ditch the routines and canned shit. The girls go off script and you are fucked. If you deliver your lines like you practice in the mirror, great. But then they throw you a curve, you are winging it, you aren't actin the same and you've basically told them you are a phoney. Go in naturally and your missteps come across as natural too.

I've always thought it would be cool to practice / roleplay in the chat.

People who claim to be "abstract" artists but can't draw or make realistic images are just lazy and unskilled. The same is for people who want to act a part but don't know how to act naturally.

Routines are better than not approaching, but they still suck.

When you first meet girls, you need to draw them into your reality. You need to be the crazy fun guy, you don't give a fuck, you have a ton of energy. Talk about yourself more. Be more direct. I strongly suspect you are sub-communicating weird creepy vibes with your eye contact and body language.

Game is 90% what you do and 10% what you say. That's why the best guys still get laid with shitty pickup lines. Work on your body language and eye contact.

Yeah, exactly.

Real Thanks for your replies guys,you see I would ditch the routines and staff (I absolutely agree) yet my Natural sucks .... it goes as far as (hey,the weather is nice 2day and silence or what course do you do then silence ). Behind the routines I at least have like a bit more info to go on (50% of the time it comes off as phoney other times it actually hooks) ... I dont really come off as creepy but more like needy .... which I know is probably just as good as being creepy ..... I did instant date some random stranger girls on streets before when I approach them on their own and took them to coffee.... yet when in a bar/club or some other place where a lot of people come to meet other people I absolutely suck, its like I cannot hook , it feels like I am there hitting on them and they just answer questions for me to go away, most of the times with a repetitive yes answer. I try to draw them into my reality but I feel like they are politely listening to me and wait till I finish.

I feel like you may be coming off as though you are trying to "GET" something from the girls. Instead, GIVE them your presence and your playful energy.

You may want to try to sarge alone-girls rather than groups of girls for undivided attention to you.

As far as convo threads in a pickup setting, I agree with everyone who said to drop the canned lines. Go in with something topical to the environment and expand on that; ask questions that can't be answered with yes/no.

Going in natural and showing your intent and desire under-the-surface as opposed to stating your intent verbally can cause a girl to naturally be interested and invested in the conversation. When you do this you may find that when you say something like "yeah I've seen those before, they're cool" she will pick up the convo and add her 2 cents.

Exchange some energy and close. As was stated earlier in this thread it is much more important how you say things as opposed to the content of what is said.

I can relate to what you are going through. You use your canned stuff to get your foot in the door, then you try to freestyle a little just to keep the ball rolling. Then you try to neg or say something sarcastic/funny and it just kind of falls flat and then the walls goes up and they blow you out. Also sounds like you are trying too hard. Try to give less of a fuck. You need to not come across as outcome-dependent. Meaning, don't make it seem like you are desperately trying to look cool and hit on them with a bunch of clever dialogue in the hopes of getting a number.

Another thing, you are probably falling into the trap of saying something or asking a question like "Guess where I"m from?" Then trying to milk the suspense or make it funny. Regardless of whether you succeed in that or if they say "don't know" and let the steam out of your sail, it ends up being anti-clamactic. I think you are dwelling on each line hoping to get all you can from it. What you need to do is be eager to get to the next thing, acting like the last thing you or she said really didn't matter. That will keep your energy up and keep them guessing and prevent them from losing interest as you stammer and stall and go quiet.

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Wow in terms of what I am doing that is pretty much is spot on. Thanks

Thanks a lot for your advices guys ... I will try to ditch the material and care less. I really appreciate all your answers .

Peace .

Such a micro approach to learning how to interact with women is the problem with the pick up industry.

You don't have to ditch the canned material. You have to improve everything else. You probably deliver it bad, you problem have body language that is SPAM your insecurity, you probably make the wrong facial expressions, you probably pace the whole thing bad. Every self limiting belief you have is translating to a terrible outward display.

You need to learn to structure your own learning since you do not have a coach.

My advise, is that to improve your other parts of your social skills , you have to ditch the canned material for a whole. Not all of it. There's nothing wrong w deciding on an opener before you approach, or using a interesting story where applicable. But you cannot rely on it. The keyword is "where applicable".

If i were you, I'd structure my approach on this model.

1) open (with a canned opener where applicable, or if in the day time or relaxed social setting like yours was, just some random situational comment).

2) converse converse converse.Practice shooting shit and learn to make small talk

3) focus on being confident and chilling the fuck out.

Do that till you normalize your behavior around women.

4) check back here asking for more advice and feedback

Good luck,
Translation

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