| Hey there, although I'm not technically new here, I am not 100% sure where to post this, but I believe it is a sticking point so I'll put it here.
First, let me say that I have been through tough break ups. It sucks ass, everyone knows this, but we still go for relationships anyway because we like em, so fuck it, right? I remember my short 9 month relationship with the girl I lost my virginity to. I was self-conscious, I thought I was ugly as fuck, and I was insecure. Then one day this really hot girl comes along and starts talking to me. I thought I had no chance, so I played it cool and just as friends. Turns out she liked me for the longest fucking time. I thought I looked pretty average. But boy, was she damn hot. She also always told me I was sexy all the time, and I loved it. She said she started loving me 1 week into our relationship apparently, she told me after we broke up.
The first 3 months of the relationship (the lovey-dovey phase) were the best 3 months of my life for the longest time. And you know what she did? Literally anything we ever did together that could be documented (ex. receipts for clothes we bought, movie tickets, even receipts where we just bought ice cream or something) she kept in a box for memories. To many people this might sound weird, but at the time this was possibly the sweetest fucking thing anyone has ever done before in my life, legitimately.
Then, after 9 months she moved to another province, decided we should just be friends and fucked this guy just a few days after they were in a relationship. We still talk to this day, just as friends though. But this screwed me up so much, it hurt a lot when she told me she had sex with another guy since I was the only guy she ever thought she would have sex with or love. Then I started thinking logically and developing the right mindsets to live by.
Now, something everyone should realize when they end a relationship, whether they're 90 or 20 is that every lost relationship, everything that doesn't go our way is a little bit of life experience. Life experience that will help us with future relationships. Once I realized this, I was actually glad she told me she fucked the shit out of another guy because I understood that holy shit, this hurt me emotionally, but god damn I'm glad it's actually done and over with. Now next time this happens it won't hurt as much, since I've dealt with that crap before. All break-ups are life experience.
Almost everyone puts their ex-girlfriend on a pedestal, and thinks that if they only did one thing different, if I changed I would have got her back. Well fuck that, she had her faults too. I guarantee it. I'm pretty sure she pissed you off quite a few times in your relationship. Don't suddenly think that she is Aphrodite just because you two broke up. I thought she was perfect too, then I realized she did piss me off a lot, she was extremely stubborn. She may have had many, many more good sides than bad ones, but just know that everyone has this belief about their girlfriends or ex girlfriends. If they didn't, they wouldn't be with them in the first place.
Know that you guys broke up for a reason. Whether it was you or her, someone fucked up somewhere, so obviously you were not meant for each other. Or maybe it wasn't under your control, like it wasn't for me. Maybe she moved and doesn't want to do long distance anymore. Well, again just think of her moving away and you guys possibly never seeing each other again as more life experience. You just had a really tough moment happen in your life and you're still alive today, living life as you were before. Maybe you are a little sadder, and you adjusted your lifestyle to once again live without that person but congratulations, not much has changed other than that fact.
Understand this: MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE EXPERIENCED WHAT YOU JUST HAVE. Yeah, you loved her unconditionally, yeah you had the best times with her, but so did countless other people with other girls in their life, and they probably had a longer relationship than you, a stronger one, a more loving one, a hotter girl, etc. Everything like yours but multiplied. If they're not dead, they're still living life. Don't think she was "the one". Understand that everyone is different, everyone has a different personality and has different needs and wants. Different lifestyles. So, your ex fit your needs, wants, and lifestyle perfectly. Well, let me ask you something. Do you have good friends? Do they fit your non-intimate needs and wants? Do they have the same lifestyle as you? I am 100% sure everyone has a friend that lives similarly like them, and that likes generally the same things, or else you wouldn't be friends. Have they ever had girlfriends? I'm sure they have. I bet you their girlfriends would be perfect for you as well, since if their girlfriends fit their lifestyles, needs and wants, why could they not fit yours? Cliches are cliches for a reason, and I cannot stress enough that there are actually plenty of fish in the sea.
Understand each and every one of these points. Don't just read these, adjust your mindsets accordingly. This can also describe boyfriends as well. I'm not going to get into marriages and shit because I have never been married, but I'm sure this can somewhat apply.
I will add more later, but I'm currently busy. I hope I can help at least one person get over their ex. If I did, that's all I want.
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