Hi, all. I'm in China. I am attracted to college-aged girls here - I'm 26 and an English professor at a uni. I can approach and get numbers easily here being a fairly handsome, bold foreigner who can play the guitar like a muther*uckin riot - but! - I have been running into the "traditional chinese girl problem." My conscience requires me to be honest with them about my future plans: moving to south korea later in the year. They balk, saying "I don't want to fall in love with somebody who is definitely going to leave," and "I don't want to play a game with love."

Not sure how to combat this. If the girl speaks sufficient English, I can usually get them on a first date to a cafe and a bar. Kino is not an issue (though they claim innocence and surprise when I go in for a kiss, as if me rubbing a thigh is just normal, friendly behavior with no sexual connotation).

As a specific, I approached a 3 set in a supermarket - toiletries. Toothbruses hanging loose on display. Ask whether we are being invited to sample the toothbrush, situational blah blah blah. I get the number of the cute one and we see each other at a cafe. Immediately begin kino - arm mostly. Next meeting is accidental at KFC late one night. She is studying (22yo med student) with a male friend. I continue to escalate, getting the upper back and lower thigh/knee. Later that night she calls me crying - her bf broke up with her. I go back up to comfort her. I try not to push too hard at that moment, though I get a hand on the hip while we're walking. Next date I am rubbing up and down her thighs, but she seems very uncomfortable when I brush the hair away from her eyes. I don't go for the kiss. Next, she comes to my apartment. I don't want her to be nervous, so I leave the door open and we just talk, but when we are at the landing of my building, I go for it. She pulls away and gives me the aforementioned arguments against us being together as more than friends.

This same problem happened with another girl I banged - she freaked out in the following days and said she didn't want to continue. It's been a couple of weeks since she and i spoke, but i texted her yesterday to see if i might re-open that tasty can of worms.

???

Don't be tellin' em you're leaving. If you do fall for one, try to take her with you when the time comes I guess. But I would leave and leave everything there as it was, with the girls i've been with forever thinking about me. If I ever went back I would look them up and meet up, leave on a good note initially.

You said you were rubbing her thighs, and before you kissed her too! That zone is off limits until you have been kissing for a little bit. Work your way neck down never stopping kissing and touching her body otherwise the flow of constant stimulation stops, and you have to start over. She was probably nervous to kiss you because you were already all over her crotch so soon.

I just don't know how I can justify not telling them. At the very least, I will be leaving this province and I am not at all interested in long distance relationships. So, I guess the next sticking point is a moral one. I am not accusing anybody who would do otherwise of being immoral - I just don't see how I could do that. It strikes me as too dishonest.

But please explain how it is justifiable for you, even hypothetically if you're not in my situation. If I can see your reasoning is sound, then you would be freeing me from a very annoying prison.

Thanks in advance

I think you just need to squash out your conscience on this one. You seem like you have a lot more travelling planned. Are you going to never feel the touch of a girl again because you may not stay in that country long? No, you are going to try all the fruits that you can, and have memories of them that will make for good stories. You're too nice. You don't want to hurt their feelings when in reality you're leaving and will hurt them anyway. I'm not saying make every girl fall in love with you and leave, that's evil. But you can definitely put an end to things, I'm gonna say 2 weeks before you leave. Then just play it out from there. That's what I think anyway. I can't travel much so0o this is how I imagine I would be sarging in travels.

I suppose I could liken it to parents forcing vegetables on children. Althought the kids don't like the brocoli and perhaps resent the parents, it is nevertheless for their own good. They may realize this at a later time if they develop a reflective attitude.

I am a vegetable disguised as an airplane flying into a woman's mouth. I may leave a bad after taste once I leave Hunan, but I will be good for them before and after the departure. Hopefully none of them will vomit up the vegetables though - perhaps burning my passport or shitting into my guitar....

Haha well I think you should NLP the girls into your leaving being a good thing and leave on the positive note so they will all have fond memories of you. Who knows if you may go back, and if your do you have guaranteed DTF HBs.