Quote:
Just want a few opinions on MLTR rules.
Im sill new to this game and in unknown territory right now. My question is on how to treat MLTR's?
for example my personal rules are:
1) Always let the girl know where she stands right off the bat 'Im not bf material'
2) See each girl between 2-3 times a week. (sufficient time but not too much)
3) Not talk about other girls to them as that is too direct and real and from experience causes negative vibes (subtly be a wanted man).
They are my only three and other areas are fuzzy as to whats ok bearing in mind i have no intention of wanting to turn any of them into gf as of now, as i plan to travel in about 9months.
Areas I'm look for opinions on are:
1) After you have just been chilling at each others having sex for a good few months is it cool to take her to for a meal? - I did this because i wanted to eat at this place and she was fun so i brought her along. Also took her out to the zoo, pretty chill and a good day. My afterthoughts were maybe I'm starting to send the wrong signs?
2) Do you talk about future plans? such as 'at Christmas I'm going to get you to make me SO many mince pies!!'
3) When I see them start to become quite emotionally involved i personally start to back off and not want to text them as i don't want to lead them on. is this cool?
Ive just had a few girls in the past start to say 'as if this is just casual! you know its more than that' and enough have said it that I have started to question my method and even morals, this has caused me just to be a bit stand-offish and have blurred rules about what I feel good doing and talking about with them.
Also feel free to answer any questions I haven't asked. Just want to know from you guys experience what is ok and not ok in your opinion? Need some clarity on the matter.
I feel my rules are good and fair. But I'm starting to feel like Slevin Kelevra from lucky number slevin as the Rabbi says to him "The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him on the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle."
Hope this makes sense, I've tried to be authentic, just ask if you need any clarity.
Okay, I'm going to try to keep this one fairly short. It sounds like you have the right idea for the most part. Granted, seeing a girl three times a week seems like kind of a lot to me. First, how many other girls are you currently dating? This is important, if the answer is zero then I might have some concerns.
First question: Generally, dates are fine.. if she treats you well and deserves them. However, any change in behavior is suspect. If you haven't done dates up to this point, and now you're going to start taking her on dates, then this could cause her to start wanting an upgrade. I really only do food dates, for the most part. The zoo is way too boyfriend/girlfriend for an MLTR relationship, in my opinion. It's not necessarily a horrible thing, but it does have the potential to send the wrong message.
Second question: No, unless this girl is serious OLTR material (i.e. if she's super laid back about me sleeping with other people) and I'm thinking of upgrading her.
Third: It's not your job to police a girl's emotions and she wont thank you for it. If she treats you well and doesn't make any betaization attempts, then her having emotions for you isn't necessarily bad. If you start to feel bad about it, then just make a point to clarify that you aren't interested in monogamy as a lifestyle choice. She can decide for herself, at that point, how much or little she'd like to be involved with you.
Hope some of that helps!
-Wolf
CHAT
